2015

We're coming into a new year!!!! What I've noticed most, as I see post, are the reminders of all the tragedies surrounding the end of the year. 2014 was not a bad year! Each year brings about both triumphs and trials but if you were to really look back over it (maybe it wasn't your best year to date) but it wasn't as bad as some of the posts I've been seeing. 

As we approach the new year I see a ton of growth resolutions and change resolutions. I also see some negatives responses to others' will to change. Instead of harping on how idiotic I think anyone is for negatively downing a person's desire or will to change (even if that's the resolution every year- it's theirs to do) I'm going to resolve that you take your surface-level resolution "to change" a step further and determine what all it will take to successfully complete your resolutions. I'll challenging you to complete the sentence with a complete thought. "In 2015, I'm going to change by _______________________." 

What are you willing to do?

How long will it take? Mind you some resolutions are as quick as batting our eyelashes while others may take the entire year. Either way: set a timeline. 

What do you need to let go of? ...and don't just say, "negativity" Place a value on it. Instead, complete the thought by saying, "I need to let go of negative thoughts by replacing each one with a positive reminder that I can do it."

Don't just say, "I'm getting a new car or a new job."

What are you going to do to get it? So instead replace that surface resolution with, " This year I will save each week  $100 to put down for the down payment on my new truck." 

Or

"This year, I'm updating my resume and sending it to two companies each week until I get an interview."

Make positive contributions to your resolutions. As always, be realistic! A resolution is not some wish granted by some mythical blue genie. A resolution is what you are going to do. When making these vision boards, glue down both the end product, as well as, what it'll take to get there. Write it down on the back if you need to, record yourself so that you're obligated to fulfill the resolution. A goal means nothing without a plan of action! 

Many blessings to you on your endeavors for 2015!! 

Holiday Scrooge

A holiday Scrooge is one whose main concern is money and profit and they despise everything to do with Christmas or other holidays. If and when you're dating a Scrooge; here are 10 guidelines for getting through the holidays with them:

1. Share everything with them anyway

2. Care or show concern no matter what

3. Buy it in spite of their attitude

4. Sing louder, but stay on key

5. Wear it anyway and smile

6. Do it regardless

7. Give more willingly

8. Watch it with or without them and play it loud and proud

9. Invite, invite, invite and go, go, go

10. Spend it up and enjoy no matter what

To Be or Not To Be

The same way you would get reprimanded for misrepresenting the company you work for is the same way Sororities and Fraternities feel, for that matter, about 'mis'representing our organizations. You may be loud, brash, crass, just straight ignorant in your personal life, you may even be that way out in public; but you can not wear your company shirt or broadcast that you work for a company, district, or association behaving in any such manner that is not conducive or productive to the policies and standards of that organization. 

In yet another colorful conversation with my book club someone felt that the television show Sorority Sisters is no different than watching the Housewives' franchise, or Basketball Wives, or Love and hip hop. They felt you can't ban one, without banning the other because they are the same. (Side eye) With me being actively apart of a sorority my opinion was questioned, although I've never seen the show. I've only heard about it, so quite naturally I can't speak intelligibly about something I don't know (the show). What I can say, however, is that if you are apart of something and the image of that "something" is reflected on a national platform weekly; then you should have an opinion. These reality shows are not a black/white thing! Being upset about misrepresentation is not a race issue. There are dozens on top of dozens of sisterhood organizations of all races and cultures. These organizations are life-long and truly just begin once you graduate college, trust me! I am an active, financial member! There are millions of housewives, and many basketball wives, and certainly a few folks that have love and listen to hip hop. The difference is grouping and finance. Women that go on those franchise shows don't represent a brand. They don't represent an incorporated entity. The franchise shows represent individuals. Those individuals happen to categorize themselves as a wife...most of which, in actually don't represent the typical "housewife". Let's be clear: a housewife by all definitions has never held a "job" outside the home and a housewife is most certainly MARRIED. That's just one example though. 

Society chooses to make those shows, along with everything else in the world, about race. No one is boycotting (and taking seriously) The Real Housewives' franchise because those are women from all cities and all nationalities and believe it or not, all socio-economic backgrounds, being themselves and responding to stimuli that producers bait. (A little lesson in television from a communications major with an emphasis in radio AND television) Some shows like Jersey, represent family-groups, at best, but even some individuals in those said families would disagree that the show is a fair or acceptable representation of them. 

I don't expect everyone to understand or even agree with the airing of any or either of the shows, and honestly, again; I can only speak for the Housewives' franchise because that's the only one I watch and I don't just watch Atlanta just because I'm a Black woman and the majority of the cast is Black. I watch all of them from Beverly Hills to New York, with Orange County being my favorite.  

Boycotting has nothing to do with "secrets exposed", "showing true colors", "they're too old for that". It has everything to do with wearing the banner of a brand or an incorporated entity, without acceptance from that brand, and representing them on a national platform without prior permission or a recognized acknowledgment. 

If you don't take anything away from what I'm writing you should take this: If you don't want to watch it (boycott), don't watch it. If it's not offensive to you, move along. If you don't understand why others are boycotting or don't agree, ask, but then don't talk over the explanation confirming that you still won't understand tomorrow because you didn't listen. The issue is NOT the same.

Your brand is EVERYTHING! Perception is KEY! 

Misappropriated Education

So...I'm wondering with the seemingly increased number of suicides...not to say this is the reason; but I did see the below picture posted on a social media site: 

Social media or media period...is the way most people communicate, not to mention seek knowledge. 

Therefore; I infer and finally conclude: 

There is a miseducated guided practice being spread. Yes! You are safe in God's arms. God is always with you. If you were to get on the wings of a dove and fly to Abraham's bosom or travel to the darkest, most tormented areas of hell; God is with you. He leads and guides...always...yes; this is true. 

With all the power God holds, just in his finger tips, alone; He also gives us a will to follow His lead. 

When you feel as if you're hanging from a cliff, or at the end of tunnel, or in the depths of darkness so much so; you can't see your hand in front of you; God will provide an out! A miracle. God gives different avenues. In the case of the above picture, God would provide a step...a landing strip....a helicopter passing by! Something...anything...He's a Way-Maker!

An infant in spirituality might misconstrue the message in that picture. A full-grown, anybody, might misconstrue that message and in a time of distress, see that picture and decide (in their own will) to let go! Our lives matter! Your life matters! By the look of the man hanging...he's terrified! Most of us, if we are in a rut; we are terrified if we feel there's no options! No matter how spiritually in tune we are, for a split second you ask that question: "Why Lord?" The faith isn't in letting go of your life...it's in letting go of ungodly things such as depression, confusion, wrath, anger, rage, envy, etc. 

Fight for your life! 

Focus. Insight. Grow. Heal. Trust.

xoxo,

Thank God

I missed out on the explosion of Testimony Tuesday, Dec. 2nd but as I get ready to turn a new year wiser; I thank God on High for my double D's: delivery and discernment! If I don't have anything else to be thankful for. If there's any good truth to my gratefulness. If there's darkness all around my light and favor; the one thing I'm most gracious of is God delivering me from all things, people, and places not of Christ. His mercy is good! 

I look and listen to testimonies and trials and understand God makes no mistakes. It could have easily been me! 

God saved me!

God delivered me from death's grasp! Misery, confusion, depression, anger, hostility, discontentment, war. 

Look at me: I'm a testinony! I didn't make it on my own. I'm not standing here all alone! 

God saw fit to favor me with discernment to see my friends and foes for who they truly are. My mistake has never been in showing kindness. Their mistake was that they mistook that kindness for weakness. God only shows me all that I need to see. He allows me to feel a spiritual connection and strengthens me to use it daily. Thank God! Those "friends" and even family that have not been for me and never will, or those that pretend to have my best interest at heart but stand by idle hoping for my demise, my downfall, my destruction; don't win. Each time I've fallen; I've been elevated to even higher heights that baffles and bewilders them.

It is Jesus that gives me my opportunity. 

The joy and peace I have because of my delivery and discernment sustains me daily. Philippians 3:13-14 "But ONE thing I DO; FORGETTING those THINGS which are in the PAST; I PrEsS toward the MARK of the HiGH calling in CHRIST JESUS"

Look at me; I'm a testimony!

Love and Light,

In Loving Memory©

Resolution in Loving Memory of Our Beloved Classmate Keyonna Ro'Shelle Newsome Allums

Today, we gather to share the love in our hearts for the memory of our very own whose short time on Earth was overwhelmingly full of love and made such a spiritual impact on us all. God, in his perfect and infinite wisdom, has seen fit to call our beautiful Keyonna to heavens gain as His reward.

"Finding thanks in Thanksgiving or the good in goodbye 

Because God loved you best, we will not question why.

In life we loved you dearly, 

in death we'll do the same.

We're grateful to have known

The Lord was in your heart the day he called your name. 

It broke our hearts to lose you,

But you did not go alone.

A part of us went with you

The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,

Your bright smile remain our guide,

And though you're absent from what we see

You're right where you want to be

Until we meet again beautiful friend."

Whereas, Matthew 25:14 begins “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

Therefore be it resolved, that we, the Class of 1999, embrace the family to show our support and love on this day, December 6, 2014 because in light of the passing of our beloved classmate, we have a bond that will connect us for the rest of our lives. We cannot replace Keyonna, but she will remain in our hearts.

Single Girl Gem #109

"Don't play house. It's perfectly acceptable to cater in significant ways when you become a 'significant other'...every now AND then. Don't become predictable."

You still aren't married. Routine expectations are unacceptable until a ring.

Acknowledging Thanks in Thanksgiving

I am saddened to hear of the passing of my classmate and friend. During this incredibly difficult holiday time having to suffer through remembering all loved ones lost, but then to be jolted with news of loss... I'm just grateful to know, that she loved The Lord, and believed in her heart that He is her Lord and Savior. I'm just thankful, post Thanksgiving, to have witnessed that she publicly and numerously shared her testimony and His merciless favor over her life, as well as spoke love. I find comfort in knowing that although she is absent from this earth and what we see; she is very much so present with The Lord! 

I pray peace and comfort to her family, as  no loss is ever easy. I pray strength and unity for my classmates of 1999 and anyone else she touched, brought a Word to, or came in contact with. Keyonna was a beautiful person and her spirit lives on with each memory of her smile and presence. If her life did nothing else; she has gathered people closer to God and forced them to lean and truly depend on Him!

Rest in Perfect Peace Keyonna

xoxo

The Unveiling

In light of the "new" Bill Cosby news I must say; get off the gas! Firstly, Janice Dickinson has BEEN saying she'd has an affair with Bill Cosby. She wrote in her "tell-all" book about their escapades and how she'd have affairs with him once he left the stage even when he had a wife and/or with his "good boy" image.

For anyone to claim they don't believe  allegations or claim the other women to be liars; I say again: get off the gas! No one is above the fray and no one is above doing something stupid! Perhaps he didn't rape the women. It more than likely began consentually, regardless; it could have occurred. Perhaps he did throw his weight around to bed vunerable, hungry for success, and naive to the business women. That's something he and the women involved with have to deal with. But what I will say is two things: Don't let the Cosby show skew your opinion and don't believe the hype. 

Raven Simone and the remainder of his cast mates have spoken nothing but highly of him both professionally and personally before any of these allegations.

Bill Cosby may have not been your average comedienne, but he was certainly your average BLACK man in the 60's doing, commanding, and "making" more than most white folks back in a time when racial tension was extenuating and apparent; he would and was not getting away with anything a white male or female couldn't pin him to the cross for. 

There's only ONE judge. I've said my peace...Amen

It's Coming!

I was watching the movie...again...Baggage Claim and I started thinking: sometimes we can allow other people's opinion to become our own or their values and "rules" to become our own. Sometimes we allow their expectations to become imparted on us so much so that we lose track of what we really want, and not only want, but; deserve. 

It's not called settling though; it's called something else. It's not making do with a situation or even putting up with a situation. It's called being tired. You get lazy, exhausted, and apathetic with trying to attain a promise or desire that you have in your mind and heart for so long that you begin to mold your situation into something that it's absolutely not and then you get pissed or disheartened when the outcome doesn't match your predicted thoughts or results. However, at the time you don't realize that so you stay...working things out...putting up with things...figuring something is wrong with you...misguided! 

What you are doing is trying to fit a round peg into a square hole and you have yet to figure out that there's two different shapes. It's not because you are stupid. You just can't see past what you really want! And because you can't see the forest past the row of trees you're looking at- you get lost. 

Lost in years, lost in tears, and lost within your own fears. But I'm here to tell you that if you just hold out for the permanent blessing with your name on it! If you just hold on for the light, logic, and love you truly desire. If you can keep pushing, keep re-adjusting, keep maintaining the little bit of sanity you have left through your situation God will make a way out of no way for you! 

I'm also here to say if at any point you feel as if you're done holding on with no sight of fulfillment. If you feel like a mess, tangled in a nightmare web. If you feel exhausted and weary...go to that quiet place. Get there in a hurry. Remind your self of what you want and no matter if you truly believe it or not, tell yourself, "It's coming!" 

Tell yourself, in that quiet place, "It's coming!" Say it over and over again until you believe it! Tell yourself, "It's coming," until the tears dry. Tell yourself, "It's coming," until you don't fear its arrival or if and how it's coming. Tell yourself, "It's coming," until there's a smile on your face and joy in your heart! And once you get to that place....tell yourself, "It's coming," and place a date on it! Manifest your vision and thoughts! 

It's coming, friends! 

Best of blessings to you,

xoxo

Read Across Texas

Today, my campus promoting reading Ang provided multiple opportunities for the kids to gain Accelerated Reading points. Faculty, staff, and students were encouraged to dress as their favorite book character. My first thought was Ramona, the Pest, Miss Ramona Quimby herself and that's just who I came as. 

I was overwhelmed one student came and told me, she came as me! Lol! She thought because I wrote a book; she should be my character and she stuck with that logic all day! 

As teachers we were asked to start off our classes reading. I was about to read Ramona, the Pest, when all my students swiftly prompted me to read my book (the children's book that is) I did and the feedback was invaluable and fun to hear. They all said they loved it! ...they may have been biased because I'm their teacher; but then as I stopped at the 10 to 15 minute excerpt they wanted more and a few came afterwards telling me ideas they'd like to see in a sequel! 

I tell you: Kids are something else. They are brutally honest, and my students truly hold me down!

It's Not About Holding On...It's About Honoring Life

There were many lives lost in the pursuit to "earn" the right to vote. Many people fought, rallied, suffered, and died fighting for a cause that, now, many people take for granted. 

It's not about holding on to the past. It's about forward change! It's not about being negative! It's about working towards positive results!

Respect your rights!

Honor the lives lost! 

There is a story of someone's son that was beat and hung for just going to the polls back in the Fifties. Don't let all the lives lost to be afforded equal opportunities and unrestricted rights go in vain. Your vote counts starting in all branches of government, not just Presidency!

One Bad Apple

I happen to catch an interview Countess Vaugh gave pertaining to some of her self esteem issues. It was disturbing to say the least. This woman is uber-talented and has been a celebrity public-figure since she was like eight years old or so. She says that she never felt good enough or beautiful enough growing up in the entertainment business. Granted, I get it. In the entertainment business you are in deed a product. You are no longer an individual that can make decisions about your appearsnce AND you are judged according to your appearance. 

In one breathe she said while working on the set of the popular sitcom 227 Marla Gibbs was great. "She told me I was beautiful everyday." In the same breathe she says, "There was an older lady on set that just didn't like me. She thought I was big, black, and ugly. I heard her. She was just brought up in a time where beauty was defined as something else and I wasn't it. That stuck with me." She said as she began to tear up. 

My thing is: you had someone telling you that you were beautiful everyday, but she allowed one statement an ignorant cast member made, not even in her face or directly to her to scar her esteem and essentially she's held on to that "feeling" those words for over twenty years! Really? How could you allow someone to take your energy, steal your joy in that way, especially when you have someone daily telling you that you're beautiful?

Parents talk to your kids! Build them up before others tear them down! Then listen: if you hadn't heard it today; you are brilliant, beautiful and blessed to be one of God's children! Be successful! Live life and enjoy your successes!

Control Your Destiny

We make time for who, what, and anything we want so it's pertinent to make time for your success! Make time to be great! Make time to perfect your craft, skills, and talents. If you want something bad enough you'll do whatever it takes. It'll seem effortless once the initial set-up is complete. Make time to be the best you. If you want success, then you will make (create) the time for it.

Maybe it will require less idle time. Perhaps it will require less of this and more or that. Whatever it is; it will be well worth your sacrifice now to enjoy the fruits of your labor later. 

Blessings to you,

xoxo

Face Value

There comes a time when you must take things at face value. If a person tells you something believe it. When they show you something trust it. Too many times we try and "read" into what is said or done instead of taking it all for face value right away. 

There is no science to it. There's no method to the madness. It's pure logic. There's nothing to debate or ponder. It is what it is...and what it will always be.

Face value=Truth and reality 

Hour Dish Khrystianized off Pinterest

Ingredients:

Garlic Powder

Black Pepper

Italian Seasoning

Tony's

Half stick of unsalted butter

Italian dressing

Chicken breast

New potatoes

Green beans 

Bell pepper, red, yellow, orange, jalapeño pepper

Onion

Directions:

Cut new potatoes in fours, and place on one side of pan. Can or fresh green beans on the opposite side of the pan. Chicken breast in the center of the pan. Season all in pan with ingredients. Place in oven uncovered for 30 minutes then cover with foil for another 30 minutes. 

Try it!

Here's before:

Here's after:

PassPort Life Radio

Interview October 18, 2014

I'm so happy to be live with PassPort Live Radio! Thank you for having me! 

I was inspired to write single girl gems by life: plain and simple. The fabulous, the dreadful, and everything in between. It's been a pleasure sharing my experiences with everyone and receiving feedback. Family pushed me, friends, anyone that's doing exactly what I want to be doing inspires me, you Karla have inspired me!

You are definitely Gucci! I don't know what it means, but I'll use my context clues for that one! Lol! 

Gems are rare. Great women that hold it down for, not only themselves, but for their families all while standing for God now a days are rare as well so it was fitting to name my book Single Girl Gems after such rare and precious tid bits, if you will that I could share whether I've experienced the advice or been a witness to it. 

I've always written. As a little girl I wrote, as a young woman I wrote and as I was writing my blog everyone encouraged me to pen my work in a book. My family constantly pushed me to publish so my inspiration came from them as well as within. I've always wanted to be a published author it's off my bucket list now. That's one check down an infinite number to go. 

My steps included writing and writing and writing. Then I inquired everywhere and from everyone. I read a lot so I did tons of research before deciding the best fit for longevity of my career and maintain my creativity.

Single Girl Gems are just Khrystian tid bits of treasure I use and pass along to other single women/girls/females/ladies...you get the point. A single girl gem is a precious and polished declaration for the highly prized woman that's Fantabulous inside and out. Gems are statements for everyone.

The book, or gems, are indeed for everyone! Men there's an entire chapter devoted to gems for you. I've penned an open letter to men. Listen; I'm an advocate of healthy relationships. I'm in a relationship, so my book is designed to instigate and develop conversation between men and women. I wrote the blog to add value to all relationships through discussion and conversation so my book mirrors my blog which is I created the conversation tour. Whether is cupcakes and conversation or cocktails and conversation....we will hold a conversation.

Saturday, October 25th I'll be in Galveston at the Women Respect your Gifts hat tea and lunch following a private event that evening 

November 22 I'll be at Barnes and Noble Westhiemer...so I'm excited for all that's in store. 

It's been exhilarating. I've loved every minute of doing something I absolutely love! Writing is really the only time I don't feel like I should be doing something else. I can get lost in it...and the publishing world has certainly taken me back to my original field which is communications radio/television. I've met some amazing people and gotten even more inspiration. 

As a child I loved Ann M. Martin, the entire Babysitters Club series, which I still have. Beverly Clearly's Ramona and Beezus. As an adult my favorite authors have been Sheneska Jackson, Omar Tyree and Michael Baisden, but there are so many it's hard to just stop there. I'm a reader.

If I could offer one gem right now to anyone it would be: Be an assest not a liabiltity!

Time in and time out I say it on my blog-LEARN something!  Never stop and just do it! Get it done, whatever it is! Be a better you; be the best you and not for anyone, but yourself!!  Have something positive to offer to any relationship: personal or professional

My next book will be coming out for the holidays! I'm excited to share it! It's a juvenile fiction book for elementary and middle grades so stay tuned for that. 

Thank you again, Passport Life Radio, I've definitely had a great time calling in! I'll call in anytime! I love all you single girls out there if no one has told you they love you today...I love you! Thanks to all my family and friends, Facebook friends, twitter followers, everyone that's bought the book or supported me on this journey thank you all!

Sore Losers

Hurt people, hurt people. 

Simple as that; and don't let them get in their feelings. They become dangerous. They can't stand to see anyone else happy.

Social media has definitely given a new set of defining characteristics to some people that may not have had, balls, for a lack of a better words....and yet it's the perfect word. 

Now, all of a sudden people, places, and things are at our finger tips like never before. Text, emails, posts, and status updates enable "some" people to speak things that aren't as though they were! 

They get their feelings hurt in the present and attempt to dim the light of their personal misery by reaching into the past to bring up things they think will hurt someone else. Never understanding in their stupidity that there is and never was cause for embarrassment or shame when it comes to a person strong-minded and confident. 

They are sore losers! 

Misery loves company. You've heard that before. I've blogged it before. It's the same difference as hurt people, hurt people. It's hard for a person, sometimes, not all the time, to turn their back on people when they're going through their "dark time" in their life. You kind of want to be there for them, help in some menial way. At the very least; be a friend. However, a miserable, sore loser, can't handle that friendship. They use and abuse it. (Lesson learned) Just as needy as they were throughout their dark time is as needy as they will be to bring you down to their dark pit as well. Not all people that go through dark times do this only the sore loser!

Most of their hurt feelings come from sheer embarrassment. That's where sore comes from. Hurt. You don't succeed at your intended purpose. Trying to live up to the sham of a life you've created. I love the phrase fake it until you make it, but that doesn't imply being a sore loser behind the things you've faked being exposed, right? It's okay to have vulnerability, insecurity, and defeat! <--Oh this message is strictly for the sore loser--> Just don't remain in misery. Don't remain in drama. Don't remain in your insecurities. Get out of your funk! One game you may win, another you may lose. Better luck next time. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. Reshuffle the cards, it's time for a new hand! Oh, and when you get a hand you're proud of- you don't have to show it. Play your moves, play that grand hand. Your eventual success will speak for ITSELF. At least it should (side-eye) No need to boast. No need to be conniving. The game will play in your favor...eventually. Don't be sore, be super! 

Good luck in life, 

Fishing...

Most people love fishing. They love fishing for sport. And by fishing...I don't mean the sport. I mean fishing for information! Fishing for details. Fishing for clarity. Fishing for news and entertainment. Fishing for compliments. Fishing as a fixation!

Why don't we be fisherman of men? Lead and guide people to what's right: Good decisions, life gems, opportunities, access, aspirations, other positive and uplifting etceteras! 

Imagine how much more productive people could be! Great catches all around there would be.

Join in, Tune in, Call in

Book Trailer

http://youtu.be/mHthQc-QRgM

What's in a Name?

So...my book is titled, Single Girl Gems. I've had tons of people say, "I'm not single any more but I'll read it," or "I'm married but I can buy it for my single girl friends," or even, "I'm not single, but I'll support you and just get the book." I've had a dozen men say, "That's a book just for single girls, that's what the title says," 

I have no real problem with the above mentioned however, when did the title of a book, or film, even a song on the radio, for that matter, dictate what you read, watch or listen to? I'm just asking for clarity!

When the book Color Purple came out; I don't recall people saying, "I've never liked the color purple, so I can't read the book or watch the movie." When the Sex and the City phenom began; I don't recall anyone commenting, "I don't have sex and the city." No one was offended at the mere mention of having sex...and with the entire city. Zane wrote books with titles, Addicted and Nervous, but no one ever says they won't be reading them because they have no addiction or they're not nervous. In fact when the film, Addicted came out, everyone flocked to purchase advance tickets and set up groups to go see the film together and I know they weren't apart of support groups. If you've read, How Stella Got Her Groove Back; I'm quite certain your name isn't Stella! I could count on one hand how many actual Stella's I personally know in the world. Same thing goes for Harry Potter, is your name Harry Potter or did you get any type of stone? Have you been Gone Girl, pretty sure you didn't care Why the Caged Bird Sings, not everyone eats Chicken Soup, most people don't have Stars to find Faults, and if I'm not mistaken; if you're not inhaling but constantly Waiting to Exhale, you'd be dead! I'm positive you're not Sleepless in Seattle, nor Killing Mockinbirds, writing Memoirs because you're a Geisha, or a Girl With a Dragon Tattoo!

We watch housewives of every city and there's no mention of biases against cities you don't live in. Scandal happens to be one of the most watched series on ABC and before that it was Grey's Anatomy. If I came to you and asked you what scandals you've got going on in your life because you enjoy watching the "show" I'm sure you'd be offended. 

So I ask; why is there a discussion or issue concerning why you can't or shouldn't read Single Girl Gems based on your "marital status". It's the same concept and principal as every other book or film or song you've read, watched or listened to. Please explain, por favor.

Life Gem 54: What's Your Super Power?

Teaching uber-pubescent 5th graders rigorous and relevant science by morning, meetings on top of meeting by mid-day, musical theatre direction and choreography by afternoon, rehearsal for performances in the evening defying Houston rush hour traffic, Master's course work by night, writing/scheduling in the late hours! Can't stop and won't stop, like hustle man, Diddy says; and ain't nobody mad about it. You can't convince me I don't have the super power of Invincibility. I won't be overcome by exhaustion... I'm invincible! Define your super power. Think of all the things you do in a day, a single day; big or small. You have a super power.  We ALL have them! At least ONE, right? There may be dozens but I'm just asking you to define ONE! Remember it's always, all about making the ONE count! 

Life gem #54

xoxo

Protect Your Inner Circle

Not everyone is for you in this life. There will be decisions, choices, and statements you'll have to make, with no one on your side or with your best interest at heart BUT God. 

After you've asked for discernment from God, prayed upon an answer...don't allow other people's fears and boxed in judgements, perceptions, or notions deter you from what you feel is right for YOU. 

No one cares for you or wants the best for you more than yourself! 

Once you've gotten out of your own way and leapt...FLY! SOAR! 

If someone comes offering negative vibes about what you should have, could have, or what they would be doing quiet that spirit from your mind. (Place that one finger over your lips for a visual if need be) PRAY! Not everyone sees your vision and listening to bash-talk, worry, concern, or doubtful conversation could leave you pinioned (wing-clipped). Stay positive. Be optimistic. If the world were full of successful people making their own way there would be no measures of success, productivity, or greatness. You don't need validation from anyone but God so once you get the Word from Him, move forward with the motivation of excellence and stellar conviction. Protect your inner circle. No one has a right to deter you from what gives you PEACE beyond understanding and unspeakable JOY! Don't just think outside the box, kick that box over!

xoxo,

Dream Chaser 2014

Sickle Cell Awareness Month

September was all about bringing awareness to Sickle Cell Anemia!

Broken Down to be Lifted Up!

Yesterday, before the launch party of my debut book, one of my Ganny's close friends called me to get the directions to the location. I was literally on my way, riding in the car, explaining how to get there to her and she says, "I'll see you soon. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Your grandmother would've been so proud." 

In that moment, like no other, it hit me that she was gone! I was overwhelmed with grief and sad! I couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes. I attempted to stop them from flowing down my freshly made-up face but all I could do was shut my eyes. My Ganny would've been either riding with me or my parents to the event to help me in any way she could have! She would've been dressed to the Nine's, prancing around like only she could, beaming with joy as she made her rounds of being, "the Grandmother of a published author." 

Within, almost, an instant though; I was comforted. It was nothing but God that got me through the remainder of the car ride. I dabbed at my eyes, so I wouldn't have to explain to my brother or boyfriend why I was crying before we arrived. That would have only made me cry more as my boyfriend is just like my mama...wants to know what's wrong to fix it. I remembered that my Ganny was and still is a Lion! She was eloquent and she didn't step out looking any way but magnificent so I couldn't arrive puffy-eyed, stuffy, and (for a lack of better words) ugly! I got it together and the launch was, in my opinion, a success! Her friend was right! She would have been proud and I'll always remember to honor her legacy as I continue on this journey....chin up, shoulders back, walking upright, perfect posture, UPLIFTED, well-spoken, eye contact, polite and kind, with a smile! 

xoxo, 

Here's the photo I took right after to deter my own thoughts and any questions about my excessive eye dabbing:

Response to Challenge

I was challenged by a dear friend and colleague. I hardly get to respond to challenges, either because I don't know how to post videos, or I'm simply behind on the deadline! This challenge, however, is relevant in the launch of my debut book this upcoming Sunday so I had to make it happen! The rules of the challenge are to name ten books that have stayed with you in some way once reading them. Don't take more than a few minutes and don't think too hard. They don't have to be massive works of literature just ones that worked for you. This was hard but here it goes: 

1. Single Girl Gems by Khrystian Nichole Cunningham (Well, duh, it's my debut nonfiction novel! My baby!)

2. Lil' Mamas Rules by Sheneska Jackson (Chilling, real-life, and surprised the heck out of me. I read this in like fifth grade. I still think of this book at least once a month)

3. Coldest Winter Ever by Sistah Soldier (It was relevant during my junior year of college. The author came for a college tour and spoke on her book, autographed it, and it's been a go-to ever since) 

4. Fly Girl by Omar Tyree (Made me want to write. First male author I'd read that had a relatable voice for me) 

5. Blessings by Sheneska Jackson (Another one of those, "I'm in fifth grade reading grown folks books" books. Wonderful voice and made me want to write more and surprise my audience with more than one story line) 

6. Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life by Donald Trump (Inspired me to have an active voice and to get my money, kick ass and take names!)

7. The Conversation by Hill Harper (A book that engulfed me to take my blog and writing to another level and actually publish it.) 

8. Waiting to Exhale by Terry McMillian (Again...I was too grown in elementary school and I loved the four different story lines. This book, if nothing else, proved I was a speed reader with a high IQ and adult understanding)

9. Nervous by Zane (I loved that this book brought to LIFE the need for mental illnesses to be addressed in literature in a "fiction" way. It inspired me to leave my mind wide open for the possibilities of story lines and that I can take my audience ANYWHERE!)

10. The Babysitters Club (entire series) by Ann M. Martin (I'm SO much a fan of this series, I'd still read them today. I won't give my collection away, and this club inspired me, along with my parents, to start my first business in like the second grade!)

Go figure! 

I challenge you to write out your most inspiring collection of books and share them as well....

Just About Sums it Up

You a bad girl and your friends bad too, oh! We got the swag sauce, she drippin' swagu

I may be young, but I'm ready to give you all my love. I told my girls you can get it

Don't slow it down, just let it go

So in love, I'll give it all away

Just don't tell nobody tomorrow. So tonight I'll do it every way. Speakers knockin' till the morning light

'Cause we like to party

Your touch is driving me crazy. I can't explain the way I feel top down with the radio on and the night belongs to us

Just hold me close, don't let me go

So in love I don't care what they say

I don't care if they talking tomorrow

Cause tonight's the night Oh Oh Oh Oh

That I give you everything

Music knockin' till the morning light

Cause we like to party!

Book Launch

Days away from the anticipated Cupcakes and Conversation!! September 21, 2014 at 10801 West Park Dr. Houston, TX 77042 from 4pm to 6pm

5th Grade Tales

My favorite-

5th grader: Ms. Cunningham, I need to go to the bathroom really bad; it's an emergency and I can't hold it!! (grabbing at themselves)

Me: Okay, no problem. Get the pass, write the accurate time, and that's what you'll owe me before lunch.

5th grader: Oh wait! I don't have to go. I'll wait. 

Me:😠 Get to the restroom😎

Ignorance is NOT Bliss

You either want to work or you don't. If a person asks you a question about something you said you could do, and you've yet to produce should you two continue the transaction? 

If it's your "business", shouldn't be able to meet deadlines? 

If you're trained and skilled on a speciality shouldn't you be able to multi-task without complaint, frustration, or remiss?

If it's your "passion" and interest shouldn't you be able to create from nothing, produce spectacular works, and manufacture more than enough output? 

Perhaps if you can't; it's not your calling or perhaps; if you can't do the above mentioned, you're just LAZY.  You think? 

Time Management

Who has the time to worry about others?

If you're doing what you're supposed to be doing at all times you wouldn't have room to discuss, concern yourself, or stress your little mind out about other people. 

"Get a life and get some business!" That's what you have to reiterate to people that are constantly "fishing" or bringing issues to light or creating difficulties that don't concern them. 

Trust me; it's exhausting not minding your own affairs and business. Use your time WISELY! I can't stress that enough. When you get behind on things or when things aren't working out for you...just know it could be because you're spending way TOO much time lurking, eyeballing, counting, worrying, or keeping up with other people! Geesh!

GET BUSY! Work SMARTER, not harder! Manage YOUR time wisely and keep your house in order. 

Life Gem #8

Your GIFTS will produce FRUIT for you! Revelation is a God-send! Living in your purpose and fulfilling that purpose is inspiration beyond imagination! Your eyes haven't seen, ears haven't heard and your heart can't even contain all that is for you when you allow your gifts to produce FRUIT! 

What is fruit? 

It's your productivity! It's your livelihood! It's every place you set your foot and everything you place your hand!

Do you have the Midas touch?!

Do you have the gift of turning hearts and speaking life into others? Become a counselor, life coach, teacher, speaker, orator. You're needed! There are too many people in the world that need deliverance from their sloppy situations and if your gift is clean-up...Produce!

Are you a talented seamstress? Get up from that sewing machine. Put down that needle and thread and put action behind your talents. Are you technological savvy? Stop fiddling just on your home computers. Do you have the natural ability to compose, create, or design? What are you waiting on? Your gifts are needed! Squeeze that juice from your fruit and create gallons on top of gallons of product! 

Research, read, ask questions, take notes and them read, research and ask questions again until your GIFTS produce FRUIT!!! 

I could go on and on but I'd rather you catch fire, stop reading, and now PRODUCE! 

#LifeGems 

xoxo

Omg!!!

I'm so excited and cannot wait to share the final draft of my book tour news!!! God is awesome! Just when I think it can't get any sweeter He gives me more honey! 

Lovely Surprise

It was a wonderful feeling to begin the day with an article in the paper about my book! 

I'm a Published Author

Bag of Emotions!

I'm excited, anxious, nervous, scared, concerned, etc. Besides this blog and a poem at seventeen I've never shared my work. I write...A LOT! Poetry, fiction, non-nonfiction. I don't share. Mostly for fear. I know, I know...I preach fearlessness...easier said than done! I'm excited though!!! Please give me ALL the feedback you can on my debut book, Single Girl Gems, based on THIS blog and YOUR feedback! Mostly private feedback. Hopefully; you'll be more vocal along my author journey in the future, and not only give me praise and acknowledgement privately or on post but on this actual blog as well, but for now; I'll take what I can get. 

It's been since, at best, 2011 that I started my Single Girl Gems and I'm abundantly blessed and grateful for the platform to even speak to you about my experiences and LIFE! Prayerfully; the full-length book is a useful handbook, a piece of comedy-relief, a guidebook, and a sense of comfort for any and everyone that reads, purchases, or..err...borrows it LOL!

Thanks to you...and this blog spot, as well as, through the encouragement of friends and family that follow my blog; I stepped out on FAITH and actually published the first of many books! I'm proud and terrified at the same time! It's the most exhilarating feeling! Lol! I know my Ganny would be supremely proud of me and I get disappointed when I think of her not actually living to see this day. I know it's only God's plan though. She's cheering from on High! I hope you enjoy the book and thanks for your support in advance!

xoxo

Vote, vote, vote

Help me choose my cover design! Choose a number 1 through 6! 

Genius is Madness

I thought of him as a comedic genius with timing, voice overs, imitations, improv...his body of work was immaculate! I'm heartbroken to hear of his death and I'm keeping his family in my prayers as this is and is sure to be extremely difficult times for them. 

Be Kind! You never know what someone is dealing with...

Why Episode #4

I'm not understanding that when I actually attempt to do something well, it doesn't work out, but when I have no true concern then it does! What happened to the laws of attraction as it relates to me? 

Case in point: 

My class quiz is timed and online. They are to be completed by the end of the week. For the past two weeks I waited until the last minute. Part of it procrastination the other part...no valid reason except that I waited because I'm a procrastinator.

I did just okay on the quizzes. The first one I scored a low B and the second one I scored an A! I figured I was getting the hang of procedure and format of the test so for this third one I decided to not stres myself our or raise my anxiety and complete it at the beginning of the week WAY ahead of time. 

I totally just bombed the damn test. Why? 

What in the world just happened? I was prepared and able to take my time AND I wasn't going crazy, moving fast trying to race against the timer before the test could be counted invalid. 

Go figure...that's just my luck, I tell you. 

Tray 6

Tray 5 had my gums itching, but now that I'm in tray 6 my gums are still itchy but the good thing is my two front teeth don't hurt anymore. At first they were sensitive and I couldn't chew my Chewies in the front of my mouth without holding it. 

My mom asked if I was aware that I chew my teeth, like bite down my mouth often. I told I was aware but not sure why until I remember it's because my teeth/gums itch! 

I can feel a difference in my mouth shifting and most definitely my bite is still off. I can barely enjoy my food. I'm getting there! I only have fifteen more trays to go!

Writers Write

They indeed do. There are some days I wake up and want to do nothing so that's just what I've done. I believe Terry McMillian recalled that behavior as simply lazy and in my case she would be very accurate.

I've had to consciously WORK and push myself to complete this first book. Not because I didn't want to but simply because either I was tired, sleepy, both, or my mind was going a million miles per second on other things. Things that are important and things that I really shouldn't give a hoot ninny about but I did!

I have indeed completed the manuscript for this first book and it feels amazeballa and I am now editing it, however I must began again with the next project along with plotting the other ideas and stories I formulated while in the process of completing my book! My mind is bogged and must be purged! Lol

This picture signifies completion (-:

I'm So edition

I'm so Dickinson I used to sit in Ms. Elnora's shop all day listening to the latest town juice because my mama started her nail brand in her shop!

I'm so League City I went to the movies at Baybrook Mall when there was a cinema there before the Dollar Cinema came!

I'm so League City I went to Hall elementary and every year I went to the "HallOBooLoo" 

I'm so League City my class was the very first 6th grade class at Creekside 

I'm so Lamarque I went to Happy House daycare and ate beenie weenies

I'm so Lamarque I played at Carver park in the summer time when I went to Aunt Vee's house that was directly across the street. 

I'm so Lamarque I started going to the Front Door at like five for Halloween parties and the fashion shows that I participated in

I'm so Lamarque I was a part of the Jaguars track team and would always admire those Willowridge Wings!

I'm so Lamarque I know the Cougarettes used to be called the Ma'maselles and was Captain in 1999 through Mrs. Criner's growling and Mrs. Robertson becoming Mrs. Wilson, part of the family.

I'm so Lamarque my great grandfather owned Rosalee street and named it after his wife, my great-grandmother. 

I'm so Lamarque my god mother is Coopers BBQ so I ate it anytime I wanted especially after school those links and jacks cookies! 

I'm so Lamarque I was Miss Juneteenth 1997

I'm so Texas City I lived in Sundance apartments and walked to the store in front of the apartments for now and laters

Im so Galveston county I owned the teen club that advertised to all the high schools in the county and I skipped school at the end of days to pass out fliers 

I'm so Galveston county I participated on the Marcus Truscott Youth Explosion

I'm so PV Walmart WAS the mall.

I'm so TSU I didn't live on campus.

I'm so sheltered I didn't see the complete movies: Boys in the Hood (and I still haven't seen) Menace to Society or Belly until I was a sophomore in college eventhough my cousin tried to make me sneak and watch them when I visited on the weekends to play with my cousins 

As Published on Poetry.com

Cat's Meow

By Khrystian Nichole Cunningham

Cat's Meow, always, somehow 
A woman's pleasure can be described as this 
The love I'm speaking of brings ultimte bliss 
Sisters you know what I'm saying 
After 48 hours it'll have you on your knees still praying 
The passion was like a shot of penicillin injected 
As your body reacted and didn't reject it 
With all your might u tried to hold it in 
The feel the touch let's face it you fought but did not win 
From that one long stroke 
You purred a long note 
Cat's meow, always somehow 
Caressing your hair 
Child I'm talking about everywhere 
U want to hide your face 
Don't just sit back and embrace 
It's all so simple 
Like a smile without dimples 
Cat's meow always somehow, somehow always, always somehow 
And the feeling begins right now

This is my original work 

Tray 5

I'm starting my tray five six days earlier. Now my dates of change will be on Mondays. I sort of think I should be calling to ask about that though. 

They ARE the professionals...BUT I am the patient and this is just their PRACTICE! There's money, my sanity, and smile at stake here! 

Today I got an IPR. Interproximal Reduction. That means Dr. Brown created spaces between my top front six teeth. They are now slimmer, or narrower, and I literally have a small gap between my two front teeth. I've never had a gap in my life!! With the last tray, my teeth were actually so close together it was difficult to floss.

The procedure was quick. I'd say it lasted about 10 to15 minutes at the most. It was uncomfortable if anything. It only hurt slightly but not for long. I didn't know that's what I'd be doing when I arrived at my appointment so you could imagine my surprise to hear and read about the procedure. 

Had I known, I would've invited somebody to hold my hand...yes; I'm a grown baby! Leave me alone about it.

Any who; I'm on to the next tray and it is tight today. It should loosen up soon on the journey of my straighter smile.

Toodles!

Pro's versus No's

Cosmetologists, Artists (makeup), Stylist (hair) any of the above mentioned are not. You attend classes and schools to get licensed, right? Right! If we wanted to look like clowns after make up applications...if we wanted to burn our faces and necks with hot irons...if we wanted to misalign our eyebrows or scold ourselves with wax...if we wanted to leave from the salon looking worse than we did when we arrived...if we wanted to nip our toes or cuticles with burning electric files or razor sharp utensils we could stay at home, keep our money, and do it ourselves! 

We go to you all because you're the professionals! We expect professional work. 

Tray 3 Week 2

A couple more days until I move on to tray 4. I'm getting tired and growing weary lol! Come 14 months! I hate to rush my life, but lort I'm ready to have my mouth back.

At this time, when my trays are out; my bite feels off. So, preferably I'd rather my trays in. I also get tired of taking them out to eat...so there goes any "snacking". Which is good because I'm trying to slim down anyway. 

At first, tray 3 hurt like no other but of course now...things are feeling better because I'll be changing trays (Go figure) 

Increase

Let's claim it! Above anything and all things! Let's place it on our lips, within our heart and throughout our mind! 

Increase our knowledge. Increase our wealth. Increase our spirituality. Increase. Claim it! Increase our legacy. Increase our family. Increase our health. Increase our favor with God. Increase. Claim it!  Increase our status. Increase our strength. Increase our opportunity. Increase. Claim it! 

Are you claiming it? Continue to claim it, in Jesus' name.

Food Chronicles pt 5

Baked ribs, filthy rice (spiced rice), greens, and cornbread! Yum

Season and bake ribs in the oven, cover with foil until served.

Cook white rice, add beef broth, seasoning, chop yellow, white onion, along with red and green bell pepper, celery, sausage, then add seasoned ground meat (optional- one meat will do).

Wash greens well (or cheat and get the bagged greens ;-)) boil salt pork until tender then add greens and all other seasonings and vegetables chopped. Cook until tender.

Read the box and follow directions :-)

Complete meal yummy, filling and satisfying! You're welcome :-)

Difference Between Fiction and Reality

As The World Turns (In Real Life) Episode 5

Here's a story that a bitter woman told. After you read the fiction story that the bitter woman told, I'll give you the eyes-wide open REALITY!

Bitter Woman: I'm at a graduation party and a woman (a hometown associate) came up to me asking how I'd been since the divorce. I answered great! Then she asked, how my ex-husband was. I then replied, well you should know! You go to dinners and movies with him and his new woman. The associate looks puzzled since I've now called her out. I continue and say, my daughter's dad is fine. 

The associate then goes on to tell me. She's heard he's doing quite well and has gotten newly engaged, and he's been looking at houses with his new woman. I then tell my associate, I hadn't heard of that and I'm pretty sure if I wanted my marriage, I could still have it back. 

   Here's the REALITY

The bitter woman saw her hometown associates (two of them) out last year (several months back) with her ex-husband and a woman. She previously spoke and held a conversation with the associates before she saw that her associates were clearly at the movies with her ex-husband and his new boo on some type of couples outing. Had she known before she spoke to the associates...her bitterness more than likely would have prevented her from speaking to them. 

Fast forward to the graduation party the bitter woman attends, she now, sees one of the culprits, er... I mean associates, and thinks it's a perfect opportunity to "find out" from a third-party what's up with her ex-husband, since obviously the associate is "friends" enough to go to dinner and a movie with her ex-husband's new woman. 

The bitter woman speaks to the associate. The associate speaks and asks the bitter woman how has everyone (meaning mother and child) been and adjusting since the divorce. The bitter woman says, I'm great, but you should know how my ex-husband is doing since you hang out, going to dinner and movies with him and his new boo all the time, but anyway...his daughter is good too! The associate looks puzzled because her intentions were to speak and this bitter broad has opened an entire new can of worms that she couldn't care less about because she has her own husband and two kids to worry with. Why would she be concerned about a divorced bitter woman and her EX-husband!  The associate then says, I don't know about all of that. Yes we've been around each other once but the last thing I've heard is that they're looking at houses, and talking engagements so they must be still together and happy.

Upset at the twist of events and the fact that the taste was just slapped out of her mouth since that's not the answer or reaction she was looking for from the associate; the bitter woman's only outlet is to go into quick defense mode and say in one swift comment, I don't know about any of that...I'm pretty sure if I wanted my marriage I could have it back. 

One story makes sense, adds up, and goes in a logical order while the other story is sporadic, unclear, and clearly not thought through. One story makes sense while the other does not. One story has a clear motive by someone and shows a self-serving purpose, while the other sounds absurd! One even oozes with a bitter, tart smell...but hey; you decide!

xoxo, 

Living in love, not hate! Stay in your lanes sweetie pies...you might get crashed and BURNED ;-)