Thursday, July 28, 2011 the Air, up there

Love is in the air somewhere....just take a deep breath!  I'm getting several invitations in the mail, RSVP'ing weekly to some type of shower, bridal party, or event, celebrity weddings are being broadcast for us all to L.O.V.E is particularly in the air.  No one is beyond craving it.  Not just the love, real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love, but also the love that sets you on a pedestal from everyone else. 
Love makes you act, think, say things differently!  It gives you a specific glow that EVERYONE around you notices.  Love causes people around you to see a change...a positive change.  A renewed spirit.  A unique characteristic that is infinite in power.  
Love is most certainly in the air somewhere.  A smile widens onto your face and your eyes sparkle with anticipation.  Everything you see and everything you've ever known is now seen through rose colored glasses.  Love happens when you least expect it...just take a deep breath!
~Khrystian Nichole

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Faux Pas

There are many times where you SEE someone and you automatically may think they look good; physically and are attracted to them! But...
Here are some of my particular personal turn-off moments when I see someone and THEN:
1. They open their mouth!
-Whether their voice doesn't match what they look like cuz it's too high or too low. That's ackward, to say the least. The thing that is truly a turn-off is when they don't speak intelligible! Having an accent is one thing.  A thing, that I must say, will turn me OFF if its too heavy. I don't care if it's southern, northern, eastern or western...too much of anything can never be good. However, the worst is speaking English, that is so incomprehensible you do think it's another language. Can you say, "Yuck Mouth." which goes into the next tier of disgust: you see the nice looking person and then they open their mouths and it's yuck mouth literally!!!
- You can tell a ton of information about a person based on their hygiene!  If you're over the age of ten; you know that!  Bad breath, food smeared onto teeth, yellow ALL and then some says plenty about your character.  Please for the love of all things Gucci, visit a dentist, brush your teeth and floss regularly.  There's just something about fresh breath and pearly whites that can get you far.  Ever heard of, "Have a coke and a smile."?
-They are vulgar, obsence and just too much for anyone on Earth.  It's a MAJOR turn-off!  You're embarrassed to speak to them in private, let alone bring them around people you know! You NEVER know what will fly out of their mouth. Enough said!  
-They have NO conversation.  The conversation always stops at, "Hi." with them.  You're constantly in a tug-o-war of, "what you doing?"  That's very intense.  Okay, they're nice to look at, but you sit in a room only watching television, or watching other people talk, or the best dates you've ever had are at the movies, a play, church, or anywhere else you don't have to talk.

2. Their attitude precedes their overall nice physique.
- There are some people that either don't realize they are nice-looking and therefore, their confidence is less than zero then you’re constantly building them up. Which is exhausting, by the way. Then, there are those that have confidence from Earth to Pluto, when frankly; they just look good, they have absolutely NOTHING else going for themselves! At all. We can’t forget to mention the one with that overbearing confidence and they actually DO have something going for themselves, however; their nasty or toxic attitude overshadows how nice they look therefore, you could care less to be in their presence. Again, the problem isn’t the way they look, it’s with the way they behave either alone or in a social setting with you.
How about you?
Entering into any relationship I’m quite certain there are specific social behaviors you either are attracted to or turn off by. Have you thought about your own faux pas’ that you try and avoid while getting to know someone? 

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

As I pay homage to Arsenio Hall and C+C Music Factory...I believe it to be fitting, almost laughable!  Those of you babies born in the 90's and to be you right now, because you have no idea what or where that phrase comes from....

Men that aren't catty STAND UP!
We need you!
We want you!!
I know I'm about to get some major flack for this here post, but in the words of Tamar  Braxton...

I also want to preface this post by stressing that I am in NO WAY, NO HOW attempting to teach, tell, or train a man how to be a man.  I don't have the qualifications or equipment; just as a man has no place, right, justification or qualifications to teach a woman how to be a woman.  However, this is America and we certainly have room for opinions.  I read somewhere that opinions are like (sorry to be crass) assholes, and EVERYONE has one!  It's true!  Here, my opinion is more of a series of general observations that I've been witnessing and privy to lately; I suppose it would have to be since I became old enough to care.  Since men have been placed into numerous categories other than: father-figure, friend, or mate.  Here it goes:

Is it just me or is there a massive influx of catty men?! Bitchassness (as Diddy said) and such and such!?  I've been working on this blog for sometime now.  Gathering research.  Collecting research.  Examining evidence.
In my observations and experiences it's not discriminant of age, ethnicity, sexual preference or culture either because I'm seeing it EVERYWHERE and with ALL types of men in the workplace, social networks, politically, religiously, leisurely...EVERYWHERE! From all ages, from all backgrounds and from BOTH heterosexual and homosexual men!
At least you know what you're getting with the homosexual male, they're (typically) supposed to feel like your "sister-girl"!  I have these type of friends, so I'm well aware of their behavior.  I do have some homosexual male friends, that aren't catty, but generally speaking; I'm talking about the many years over...stereotypical homosexual.  Just in case you aren't privy to these individuals you can research by watching them on television, their portrayal on screen.  Call it what you want, but it's reality somewhere.  If you take offense, then you just don't know, but; you better ask somebody.

Enough!  I'm talking about HETEROsexuals?!?!!! I just can't!! Gossipy! Loving to tell what they done seen or heard! Starting conversations with, "she said, he said, he did, she did"! Coming into your office or work-space to find out what the next person said or thinks of them!!  Holding the phone for hours discussing and "getting down to the facts".  At first I was thinking; maybe it's due to the rise of the single mother homes, or possibly the lack of positive affluent male figures.  All of this is or could be up for debate, but now, as I actually write this blog; I've answered my own earlier question...I think it's just me! My misconception of what a man is and/or does!
Don't get me wrong, as I said earlier; I have never or will I ever think it's the place of a woman, let alone lil' old me, to train a man how to be a man and vice versa! Do I agree that a child, boy or girl; that a human-being, male or female needs BOTH positive genders-roles in their life in order to be a well-rounded individual?! ABSOLUTELY!! It doesn't matter if it's the mail man or grocery store clerk...We ALL need positive influences in our lives. Agree or disagree, but that's my stand and I'm sticking to it! So, I just think I've been mislead by the men whom were in my life!  I always thought of the male species as...just something else.  I suppose everyone has a time when they must vent, or express a certain type of feeling.  However, I think in general, and for BOTH genders cattiness is gross and uncomfortable, especially to the person that is exposed to it.

Contrary to popular belief a man can be just as catty, gossipy, or talkative as any (supposed) woman!!!! They (men) LOVE to talk about something they've seen or something they've heard!! Tell them that they're this way and they'll swear up and down that they aren't, but WE know that they in fact: ARE!  It's annoying, and it's surrounding me! I do have some male friends and my closest female friends (whom I love)to rid myself of all of that!!  We (thankfully) prefer to speak of more productive things! Anyone can get sucked into a he say, she say conversation at some point in their life.  No one is inaccessible...but what do we do when it approaches us?  Do we soak it up like a sponge, inject our self into the conversation to, "add our two-cent," or try and remove ourselves from the situation?  That's where REAL and TRUE character comes into play...
...I'll just keep on living....but, it does make me go hmmmmm...

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Live Life: A Khrystian Tidbit!

I'm almost positive I've had this conversation before via blog, however; it is a constant premise or, I should say theme, that people whom surround me practice.
No good can come from placing stipulations and harsh rules or regulations on your life.  From the foods you eat, the company you keep, the places you travel or visit, to the career you have or even your every day health!  Let me be absolutely crystal clear with this next statement:  "SET REACHABLE GOALS AND ENJOY LIFE!"  This is a Khrystian tidbit, at best!
Now, I'll break it down even more...some of us go to the extreme and cut off things that we enjoy cold turkey.  Unless your very God-given life depends on it; why do that?!  Here's where "reachable" comes into effect.  If you want to stop eating a particular food, knowing that you enjoy it and in the past have eaten it every day; start off small.  Cut back.  Don't remove it totally.  If you know your weight (over or under) is out of control; begin a slow to moderate work-out plan to alleviate and reduce the risk of shock or immediate pain! 
Point blank period.  Without going through a minial list of examples, I think the key is not being so rigid with the goals you set.  It will cause you to lose control or site of what you're truly trying to accomplish.  It also could cause you to fall off the mark, and most often FAIL!  And who really wants to fail?!
So, I urge you to set reachable goals that are realistic, doable and that in the long run will make you HAPPY with your outcome.
~Happy Living

New Housewife on the Block

It seems NeNe Leakes will have yet another ally on the upcoming season of ATL Housewives.  Marlo Hampton, the fiance of NFL player Charles Grant, will be the newest addition to the franchise.  Marlo does in fact have a wrap sheet based on battery charges, violating probation and writing hot (bad) checks!  A twist that I'm almost certain Bravo intended to "pop off" is the fact that Marlo's fiance, Charles Grant, was rumored to be NeNe Leakes love interest at one point of time.  Primarily when they hosted a party together.  Anywho, based on their communication, via Twitter, those rumors are far from them, as they hang out, drink together and enjoy each others company, sometimes along with NeNe's other BFF, Cynthia Bailey.
Here she is pictured below with Charles Grant.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What's your highest bid?

4 hours and 63 chapters later I completed Victoria Christopher Murray's novel, The Deal, The Dance and The Devil.  A modern day Indecent Proposal.  It begs the question, "How far would you go for your mate with 5 million dollars at stake?"  Could you actually see yourself saying adios to your mate for a weekend to receive 5 million dollars at the end of that time?  When the book was first proposed to our book club, one of the ladies (the one that's married) said, "Hell yeah."  Many others confessed, "if just for a weekend, I think I could do it." others said, "take your ass on! 5 million dollars?  Yep."  Me?  I know I couldn't.  Now I am prepared to say one of my favorite sayings; "desperate times call for desperate measures"  however, I know myself!  I couldn't, wouldn't and.... it just ain't going down! 
Also, my husband (cuz let's assume in a perfect world that's the only other person it would be) I would hope (fingers crossed) wouldn't want or even consider it either.  But hey, again; you NEVER can say NEVER and that's exactly what was apart of the story as the plot thickened.  I won't give away too much more.  I'll stick to my opinions because some of the members of the book club have not finished reading and I don't want to be a spoiler for month we'll discuss the actual book.
For now, I want to touch on a few common themes about life:
1. Men always think they can handle the devious schemes of a woman scorned on their own.
-I'm here to tell you boo-boo; you can NOT!  Point blank period.  Women are something else, take it from me...I'm a woman.  Ask any woman and she'll tell you; a woman scorned is desperate, miserable and will do anything she can to make you and your life as miserable as hers.  Most men try and "handle" the situation on their own.  Thinking, it'll go away or that the chick will "get over it". won't and SHE won't!  It's almost laughable, but then again it's not. Many men also think, "hey I have sisters", or "I have a lot of female friends", or they're even naive enough to say, "I been around long enough to know these women"  POOR THINGS!  You really DON'T get it!!
So; place that big ol' ego to the fact...CHECK it and be open and HONEST about whatever it is you and the said woman have going on, did have going on, will have going on and in front of witnesses (particularly the person you have something to prove a point to) because I'm telling you if you don' entire different story than what is actually going on will conceive in her "mind" and give birth to disaster to follow!
2. Once temptation, suspicion or distrust are introduced into your "loving" relationship...anything goes. 
-I must break these three down...not for you, for me!
Temptation- If you need to cheat, please retreat (inspired from the rhyming style of the late-Johnny Cochran)  Being tempted is one thing, but acting on that temptation is the devil's playground, because you don't ever "get away" with it.  Someone knows, someone will get mad, and the "love of your life" will find out....then comes...
Suspicion- Now no matter how many I'm sorry's you've said it doesn't mean a thing.  Apologizes are like using whiteout, it covers up the mistake but it's never totally away. Now, when you, "have to make a run" (according to the book) it's like to where? what the hell is a run?  When you don't answer your cell's like; "what the hell are you doing?"  "why couldn't you answer?"  You start hearing things like, "You never did this or that before" "Where did you get this or that?"  It brings about unnecessary insecurities that no one should have to endure because of your stupidity.  Giving up something special for a second!
Distrust- My mom always says, "Your word is your bond."  So no matter what happens, from the moment trust is's almost like trying to pick up the pieces to a broken mirror and put them back're bound to get cut.
3. The devil's job is to kill, steal and destroy
- Not necessarily your physical life, which I learned a long time ago thanks to Ambassadors for Christ Ministries, but the life you know of here on earth.  Kill your dreams, steal your joy, and destroy your destiny or goals or faith.  It's rough out here.  Life, I mean.  You have to be ready.  The lion crouches at your door, and the devil works through any and everybody.  Stay prayed up and in good courage with the Lord.  That's all I can say about that.
4. Stick to your moral values
-There's plenty in this world to get you off track.  But stick to what you know.  What you believe.  What you honor.  Don't stray.  In some instances it's easier said than done...but work at fighting the flesh...and you nor I are alone.  We just have to get'er done :-)
Good luck and God Bless in knowing your worth and understanding that some things just aren't worth piece of mind!
XOXO, Khrystian Nichole
P.S Read the book and let me know your thoughts...let's discuss next month!

American Black Film Festival 2011

It's no big secret that South Beach, Miami is one of my absolute favorite beaches...granted it's not like I've been around the world and I, I, I, I (okay, just alittle homage to my childhood via Lisa Stansfield) LOL!  Anywho, when I made a conscience decision to stop sitting on my (for lack of a better words) ass and get back in and around the field I graduated in (radio/television/film) I decided to start investigating and researching ways to know get my feet wet.  Ways for me to stop procrastinating on each and every minor and major dream I have.  (Funny how God works)  When I began researching things just kind of started happening!  ....Stay tuned...
One thing I knew, was that I wanted to get around and network with individuals within the field of radio and television.  YES, I'm apart of different organizations...but to be apart and being involved are two totally different things. So's time to get involved!
I found out back in February the American Black Film Festival 2011 was to held in Miami (South Beach) in July!  Talk about Christmas in July!!!!!  Of course I jumped on it.  However, because it was my first time and (always skeptical) I wasn't so sure of how legit the event was.  I mean, I never knew anyone that went.  So I was ever so careful of exactly what I paid for "online".  Call me old fashioned, out-dated, whatever...I STILL like to have a REAL voice and "REAL" people to speak with and deal with.  (sign of the time)
When I got there; all my inhibitions were eluded and I discovered (through following many on Twitter) just how legit, professional, exciting and inspiring the week beginning on Wednesday and lasting through Sunday would be!
Let me preface this week by saying, "I know nothing about networking.  I am totally shy."  Some will vehemently disagree, but you are hearing it from the horses mouth..."I AM SHY!"  I do many things out of necessity and alas, I have many opportunities that come my way...THANK GOD!  I am working on this, and going to a film festival in Miami ALONE speaks volumes.  Don't you think?!  Well...I do!!
I'll also say, next year will be absolutely different.  I will purchase whatever and however.  This year, because of my skepticism; I only purchased things on-site but it was definitely well worth it! 
My focus was not on the hoopla of seeing John Singleton walking behind me in the Ritz Carlton, or partying with Bill Duke and Keenan Ivory Wayans at Club Play and Liv, sitting poolside with Melyssa Ford and Jalen Rose, and I certainly wasn't phased by THE Don King coming over to me, with his light-up cane telling me, "You are beautiful!" and walking through with his entourage...NO!  I especially kept focus with ALL the gorgeous (and, er...not so gorgeous) folk offering to buy, escort, or just plain old enjoy the sights.  I was GOOD!  I came there for one thing, and one thing only.  To learn!  To find out! 
I took Robert Townsend's Ultimate Pitch class where we learned:
*Hollywood doesn't invest in characters, they invest in REAL people.
*Time is money
*You only get the pitch to make the deal
*Give birth to your ideas and produce.  Stop holding them!
I sat in on a conversation with Paula Patton where I found out:
*Perfect your craft daily
*True love is real and good (as she's been with here husband since they were 14 and 15)
*Be honest with your self about what it is you really want to do AND are good at
*You're never too late to Just Do It
I went to a panel discussion about the Business of Reality TV where I was schooled that:
*You don't make money from an idea! (light bulb moment)
*Figure out a filter or brand
*Pitch meetings to station developers
*Produce something...that's where the money is NOT the idea
*There are four things stations are looking for
*Expand your vision
I met attorneys, writers, film makers, talent, directors, camera men, casting directors, show runners, producers, production assistants, every position you could imagine...ALL hungry.  ALL with the same goal in mind.  ALL there to network.  ALL there to be somebody.  ALL grinding. 
It was an experience to say the least, and I'm exhausted, but I'm invigorated!  Inspired and brought down to reality!  Needless to say, I'll be back ready for sun up to sun down excitement and networking!  I made lots of "friends"!  Just like Robert Townsend said, "You don't need to seek out the Robert Townsends, Spike Lees and Keenan Ivory Wayans' to make "it" happen...there is wealth of knowledge and talent all around just use it!  Work together and make your movie!  I got about ten things on my plate!"  He is absolutely right!
Cheers to me for "opening up" and stepping outside the box!

Daddy by Default

...ok!!!  Oh...KAY!! So, I didn't read the book at the time of our book club meeting.  I had been busy, forgot the title of the book, and quite frankly just was preoccupied and too consumed with life! By the time I realized the book club meeting was the next day, it seemed as if an eternity had passed since I got some almost devastating (to me) and life-changing really; I wasn't in the mood to "read" fiction, when I had a real-life drama series I was documenting!  I, however; did want to meet the author.  I wanted to pick her brain and find out what I needed to do to become a published author.  I figured I had better do something...and quick, in order to be "up-to-speed" with any conversation we would have at the book club meeting.  So I did what any self-righteous, always wanting to be in control, avid reader would do...I fibbed!  Just a little!  I pretended I read the book and nodded whenever necessary. (le sigh)
I backtracked and raced through any email with happy hour book club as the title and vigorously read through each line hunting for the title and author of the book.  When I couldn't find it; I figured I'd have to fess up and ask one of the members the title.  I couldn't ask my one friend that invited me into the club...cuz I surely as I type this blog; I wouldn't have heard the end of it. All in love, but honestly the same.  So I did the next best thing and asked host of the month's book, if she had a copy, what was the title, and author.  I figured it's after 8:40pm on a Saturday...even if I couldn't get the book right away I still could be safe with at least a good five hours time to read the book as the meeting didn't start until 4pm the next day.  OR; I could purchase the book from iBooks and read it that night.  Alas!  Dummy (I had this conversation with myself)  What good would it be to have the virtual book, with the author sitting right there?  You DO want pictures and an I scratched that idea and decided, I just need to get to the book store and buy the book in the morning, therefore; leaving 5 hours reading time!  When I called to get a copy of the book on hold from the local bookstores...I felt like I was in a Scooby Doo mystery because NO ONE HAD IT IN STOCK!  I got alittle knot in my stomach and then frantically searched for the author, Pat Tucker, on Twitter.  I found  her and left her a direct reply asking if she was planning to bring copies of her book for purchase to the reply.  It wasn't until I met her; I found out that isn't the Twitter page she uses!
I was toast, because as you can imagine if you've kept up with me through my blogs...I'm a little bit of a control freak...mostly a procrastinator but most definitely impatient (pray for me...I'm working on all of the above and then SOME)
I digress...
I went ahead and got a jump start on the first chapter or so by way of iBooks free sample...I figured; at least I'd know the characters names during the discussion. 
Holy BeeJeeZus!!
Daddy by Default is the title....I began to read.  Some things seemed all TOO surreal AND strangely familiar! 
Maybe I should catch you up to speed here:  I WRITE....and by write, yes; I mean this blog.  However, I also mean poems, short stories, reviews, newsletters, one-liners, pages, chapters, novels (gasp)
At this point, with this book so involuntarily telling a familiar story...I shut down the iBook app.  I couldn't read this!  I was writing this story.  Well not THIS story.  No two stories are alike, but; the same premise.  Paternity!  Is he the father or ain't he the father?!  The question that haunts promiscuity!
You know how they say you can be oblivious to situations around you UNTIL they directly face you...whether advertently or inadvertently!  WOW!  It's true!
Upon whispering with one of my other friends during the meeting; I explained to her my ultimate concerns of reading the book, my work in progress, my goal, etc. and she encouraged me to read it.  "Many books are of the same topic, but your story will be a totally different point of view. It's YOUR story.  And when you're done, it can be our next book of the month"  *See that's why it's great to have friends.  (because yes, I'm cynical...friends?! just never know)*
With that, I went purchased the book from Pat Tucker and when the book club ended, and much later that night after I stopped and met some friends out for a little drinking and dancing; I read the book.

The wonderful thing was, Daddy by Default took an entirely different approach than my work in progress.  I read it as really showcasing the "business" behind pinning a man to a kid that's not his.  The devious, deceptive mind of  both a woman scorned and a woman all about her hustle.  I appreciated both; because I never knew or would fathom here in my lil' bubble anybody doing that way.  Sure I've heard of and even seen accounts of government scams, beating the system and so on and so forth; but it's really interesting the immediate and ultimate lengths that people go through.  Especially through the voice, eyes or imagination of someone else.  I enjoyed the book, the author, and I'm looking forward to her sequel!  She even, whether she knew it or not, passed on a few helpful nuggets for this procrastinator to, "Get it together."

...And actually writing this blog and placing it out there that I do, in fact have works in progress, basically forces me to get on the ball.  Stepping on faith...
Khrystian Nichole