Raise your hand if you're tired of the "getting to know each other phase"? At the start of every friendship, relationship, or any other 'ship' there's the dreadful learning-getting to know each other phase! Yuck!
What's your favorite this or that? How many brothers and sisters you have? What are some things you like to do? Are your parents still together? Then there's the unspoken "learning each others" How do you handle conflict? What makes you happy? What makes you sad or angry or indifferent? What are your limits with others?
It's never-ending! Maybe it's just me but I wish there was some type of file folder you could just read at your discretion and at your leisure to find out about others. Life would be so much easier especially dating in those early stages! Lol
xoxo,
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Why?! Oh Why?
Why do some people feel the need to antagonize each other? Insult each other? Ultimately, ruin each others day!
It is a fact...there are just some people that no matter what...they start off on the wrong foot, don't get along, and or don't see eye to eye...ever! They don't mesh well. So the question remains! Why?
If you get so annoyed by someone's presence, why continue to go around them?
If you don't like what someone says, why continue to ask them questions that require a response?
If you don't like the way someone acts, why invite them around?
If you don't like the way someone salutes you, why continue speaking to them?
If you don't like the service, why continue to patronize the establishment?
If you don't like the gifts you receive, why continue exchanging?
I could go on big the fact question remains. Why?! Stop setting yourself up for failure. Ultimately, whether you admit it or not, you're just hurting yourself. Whether it be your feelings, or ego, or just plain old dignity. Stop doing things you don't like is my point! It's not worth it in the end. ....or perhaps it's just you! Imagine that?!
(insert wicked laugh here)
It is a fact...there are just some people that no matter what...they start off on the wrong foot, don't get along, and or don't see eye to eye...ever! They don't mesh well. So the question remains! Why?
If you get so annoyed by someone's presence, why continue to go around them?
If you don't like what someone says, why continue to ask them questions that require a response?
If you don't like the way someone acts, why invite them around?
If you don't like the way someone salutes you, why continue speaking to them?
If you don't like the service, why continue to patronize the establishment?
If you don't like the gifts you receive, why continue exchanging?
I could go on big the fact question remains. Why?! Stop setting yourself up for failure. Ultimately, whether you admit it or not, you're just hurting yourself. Whether it be your feelings, or ego, or just plain old dignity. Stop doing things you don't like is my point! It's not worth it in the end. ....or perhaps it's just you! Imagine that?!
(insert wicked laugh here)
Monday, February 25, 2013
Natural Nail Nightmare!
These nails are officially NUMBS!! Boo Hoo! Let's face it! I'm painting my SKIN red and not a nail! Plus my nails beds hurt...they are super sensitive! Why oh why can't the nails on my hands grow as fast and as strong as the nails on my toes?! Good day and good night!
Run for the Hills!
There are always signs given when things just aren't quite right when it comes to relationships! We all know it. Most women, with even a smidgen of wisdom, can feel it; but it's up to us if we're confident, strong, and independent of loneliness enough to actually run for the hills when the opportunity presents itself!
Signs! Oy vey!
I've seen and been privy to MANY signs throughout my dating experiences. Some might argue that's why I'm single. Others would say I don't allow wiggle room for mistakes! A few may say I'm destined for a life of singledom and unless I remove the rigidness I'll forever be single.
Le sigh! So be it! In due time truth prevails and a persons real intentions and true feelings for a person dictate a righteous relationship.
Of course no relationship is void of troubles and stumbles or trip ups, and I certainly wouldn't place any stock into that notion but my goodness; some things...you shouldn't have to be a glutton for punishment to!
In hearing stories of my other friends' single adventures; I know it's not indicative of anyone personally; it's just the litter of the pick!
Men!
Lol! Here are some examples when you should- like it or not- run for the hills because it won't get better! When a person is ready to be true to you: they WILL! Plain and simple!
1. When a person never wants to take pictures and the excuse is, "I don't do pictures." <- Run for the hills!
} Why not?! Either because they have a "single" or "unattached" lifestyle they need to maintain in order to get what they get, do what they do, or see who they see, OR they're ashamed to be with you! Neither is a good alternative to a simple picture. I've literally seen instances where they'll take pictures alright, but they're so hidden in the background or behind you that you're thinking, Where's Waldo? The other time they will actually "take" pictures is if it's only them in a picture alone, or they're taking pictures with others, but NOT alone with you. You reflect on the night thinking..."Did I go alone? Who was I with?"
2. When a person WAS married or in a relationship and just like magic; Wah La: they're not! <- Run for the hills!
} They are a lie and the truth is not in them! Especially the married ones! You ask the simple question, "What happened?" and they say, "Long story! I'll tell you about it. We can go to ________ (insert dinner or anything here that they've been trying to get you to in the past) and I'll tell you the whole story."
Now; why is a story needing to be told? Just answer a simple question with an as equivalent simple answer! They can't do that so, you can't listen to their explanation!
3. You can't go to their house. <- Run for the hills!
} Huh?! If you're dating someone why couldn't going to their house, if even for a minute to meet up before going to the next location, be an option. Something is Wrong! I'm not saying what...just know you need to run for the hills!
4. Talking about an ex with admiration or constantly comparing things you do, times you share, etc to that of the ex...do I even need to say <- Run for the hills!
No one is saying speak ill of an ex, never that. But why would a person feel it ever necessary to consistently bring up an ex in casual conversation. It's highly inappropriate and could only mean they're on the rebound, or not fully out of the relationship. It's just weird!
5. They like boys! Egad! <-- Run for the hills! Really enough said but for those that still don't get it: if you know a person is unequivocally a homosexual and at one time you and said person have pined over the same feller! Uh! I'm sorry but you should have never opened that can of worms by falling for them in the first place!
Five is enough! I'm depleted of the idiotic things people do that should cause you to RUN for the hills! Don't just walk, RUN and don't look back! Take it from me!
Signs! Oy vey!
I've seen and been privy to MANY signs throughout my dating experiences. Some might argue that's why I'm single. Others would say I don't allow wiggle room for mistakes! A few may say I'm destined for a life of singledom and unless I remove the rigidness I'll forever be single.
Le sigh! So be it! In due time truth prevails and a persons real intentions and true feelings for a person dictate a righteous relationship.
Of course no relationship is void of troubles and stumbles or trip ups, and I certainly wouldn't place any stock into that notion but my goodness; some things...you shouldn't have to be a glutton for punishment to!
In hearing stories of my other friends' single adventures; I know it's not indicative of anyone personally; it's just the litter of the pick!
Men!
Lol! Here are some examples when you should- like it or not- run for the hills because it won't get better! When a person is ready to be true to you: they WILL! Plain and simple!
1. When a person never wants to take pictures and the excuse is, "I don't do pictures." <- Run for the hills!
} Why not?! Either because they have a "single" or "unattached" lifestyle they need to maintain in order to get what they get, do what they do, or see who they see, OR they're ashamed to be with you! Neither is a good alternative to a simple picture. I've literally seen instances where they'll take pictures alright, but they're so hidden in the background or behind you that you're thinking, Where's Waldo? The other time they will actually "take" pictures is if it's only them in a picture alone, or they're taking pictures with others, but NOT alone with you. You reflect on the night thinking..."Did I go alone? Who was I with?"
2. When a person WAS married or in a relationship and just like magic; Wah La: they're not! <- Run for the hills!
} They are a lie and the truth is not in them! Especially the married ones! You ask the simple question, "What happened?" and they say, "Long story! I'll tell you about it. We can go to ________ (insert dinner or anything here that they've been trying to get you to in the past) and I'll tell you the whole story."
Now; why is a story needing to be told? Just answer a simple question with an as equivalent simple answer! They can't do that so, you can't listen to their explanation!
3. You can't go to their house. <- Run for the hills!
} Huh?! If you're dating someone why couldn't going to their house, if even for a minute to meet up before going to the next location, be an option. Something is Wrong! I'm not saying what...just know you need to run for the hills!
4. Talking about an ex with admiration or constantly comparing things you do, times you share, etc to that of the ex...do I even need to say <- Run for the hills!
No one is saying speak ill of an ex, never that. But why would a person feel it ever necessary to consistently bring up an ex in casual conversation. It's highly inappropriate and could only mean they're on the rebound, or not fully out of the relationship. It's just weird!
5. They like boys! Egad! <-- Run for the hills! Really enough said but for those that still don't get it: if you know a person is unequivocally a homosexual and at one time you and said person have pined over the same feller! Uh! I'm sorry but you should have never opened that can of worms by falling for them in the first place!
Five is enough! I'm depleted of the idiotic things people do that should cause you to RUN for the hills! Don't just walk, RUN and don't look back! Take it from me!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Past is PAST
It never ceases to amaze me how quite often people choose to remain in the past. Some might argue past could be 15 minutes ago and they would be accurate, however I'm speaking of more or less like five plus years in the past!
If you've had a relationship with someone in middle school, high school, or college and you're forty-plus years old...why are you still feeling some kind of way about that past relationship? That person? The times you did Or didn't share? I've even heard ludicrous instances where someone is still holding on to school-yard feelings they had for someone in the 2nd grade! Really?! (side-eye here) Get OVER it! In the words of one of my closest friends...You too old for that! (not you're, but YOU) Lol
The most beguiling part of my amazement to those that remain in the past is the mere fact that: People will actually try and use those PAST facts to deter you or sabotage any inkling they hear of a chance for you to enter into a new relationship, or just the mere thought of your happiness.
There are instances, in relationships, where a significant other could have possibly had a legitimate full-fledge relationship with someone else. Could have, by all rights and definition been serious...eight years PRIOR or hell, let's say as short as six months PRIOR; and someone is still holding on to texts, letters, voicemails, and sweet "totally" nothing shared in your ear! Really?! Get over it! Move around! The relationship is OVER or, quite frankly; you'd be together. I'm just saying!
It goes the same for past grudges! I've had to overcome this vice myself. Get OVER it! Put that energy to good use! Don't hang on to things that are in the past, those things that do not adversely affect you in this moment are not of importance! Everyone else has moved on and you're still replaying a conversation from 12 years ago over and over again. Reliving highlights. Getting mad all over again. Feeling hurt all over again. Frustrated all over again. Get OVER it! No one cares! You're stifling your very own growth! Get PAST it! Get out of your own way!
I'm trying to help somebody!
If you've had a relationship with someone in middle school, high school, or college and you're forty-plus years old...why are you still feeling some kind of way about that past relationship? That person? The times you did Or didn't share? I've even heard ludicrous instances where someone is still holding on to school-yard feelings they had for someone in the 2nd grade! Really?! (side-eye here) Get OVER it! In the words of one of my closest friends...You too old for that! (not you're, but YOU) Lol
The most beguiling part of my amazement to those that remain in the past is the mere fact that: People will actually try and use those PAST facts to deter you or sabotage any inkling they hear of a chance for you to enter into a new relationship, or just the mere thought of your happiness.
There are instances, in relationships, where a significant other could have possibly had a legitimate full-fledge relationship with someone else. Could have, by all rights and definition been serious...eight years PRIOR or hell, let's say as short as six months PRIOR; and someone is still holding on to texts, letters, voicemails, and sweet "totally" nothing shared in your ear! Really?! Get over it! Move around! The relationship is OVER or, quite frankly; you'd be together. I'm just saying!
It goes the same for past grudges! I've had to overcome this vice myself. Get OVER it! Put that energy to good use! Don't hang on to things that are in the past, those things that do not adversely affect you in this moment are not of importance! Everyone else has moved on and you're still replaying a conversation from 12 years ago over and over again. Reliving highlights. Getting mad all over again. Feeling hurt all over again. Frustrated all over again. Get OVER it! No one cares! You're stifling your very own growth! Get PAST it! Get out of your own way!
I'm trying to help somebody!
Insecurity Reeks!
There is almost nothing worse than an insecure person...that is, of course, an insecure person that has been rejected -_-
Insecurity has a funky stench that you can smell from miles away. There are those that have personal insecurities that cause them to settle for playing the position the coach assigned them because they're too afraid to play hard or give it all they've got in order to try-out for the position they really want or the needy attention that can only come from acceptance from others and of you don't feel accepted you're not confident or comfortable!
Another case of insecurities could be you feeling as if your forehead is too big and doesn't fit your face, so you wear hats or my ladies keep bangs.
There are more subtle insecurities that force ladies to wear caked up make-up on their already overly-blemished face, or cause guys to leave lines on their foreheads from the use of a doo-rag or spend X amount of dollars to have the "perfect" lay-down, brushed hair.
A more obvious insecurity is pretending to be someone you're not, misleading others through your actions and comments. My personal favorite is being a walking billboard for yourself and any thing you've even slightly accomplished. There's no harm in being proud of your accomplishments but when a person asks your name and you conclude with your resume and an "important" list of supporting actors in the story of your life...you're doing too much!
The most common insecurities are those expressed outwardly by means of weaves, acrylics, false bank statements, over-priced accessories and luxuries.
But through all of those examples; I must say the funkiest insecurities are those of a rejected person. Be it male or female.
An insecure person that gets rejected from a job or position smells of sour milk-
The company, human resources, and anyone in the position or job they want sucks! Lol! At least that's what they feel. Instead of working on themselves and looking within themselves or even looking at the other person in the position as a place-marker to do better they insult everything and anyone that's making it happen! Insecure! Do better! That's the bottom line, don't be salty when things don't work out. Use your setbacks as a setup for a comeback plain and simple!
An insecure person that gets rejected from another person. My Goodness! That insecurity smells like four day old burning shit! It takes your breath away and causes your gag reflexes to lock up and chock you. Your eyes water and stomach churns-
A woman that gets rejected from the man she wants (and Lord...don't let him be interested in someone else and is actually "foolish" enough to admit that) her words become venomous! And not against the man but against the woman he's interested in. "She's ugly, she's knock-kneed and she walks with a dip, I'm not hating but everybody says she needs to work on her thighs because they rub together..." <---Hating at it's finest! Lol
I could go on with the insults, but you get the picture! The woman is scorned, hurt and mad that the man doesn't want her so she's taken the lady you're interested in down with her!
The man that gets rejected from the woman-
Does the same thing, or my personal favorite: attacks the rejector. "You're a dumb-ass, you won't get no better than me..." I could go on but I suggest you should've hung up the phone or walked away a long time ago. Lol
Last bottom line: Insecurity reeks!
Know that! xoxo
Insecurity has a funky stench that you can smell from miles away. There are those that have personal insecurities that cause them to settle for playing the position the coach assigned them because they're too afraid to play hard or give it all they've got in order to try-out for the position they really want or the needy attention that can only come from acceptance from others and of you don't feel accepted you're not confident or comfortable!
Another case of insecurities could be you feeling as if your forehead is too big and doesn't fit your face, so you wear hats or my ladies keep bangs.
There are more subtle insecurities that force ladies to wear caked up make-up on their already overly-blemished face, or cause guys to leave lines on their foreheads from the use of a doo-rag or spend X amount of dollars to have the "perfect" lay-down, brushed hair.
A more obvious insecurity is pretending to be someone you're not, misleading others through your actions and comments. My personal favorite is being a walking billboard for yourself and any thing you've even slightly accomplished. There's no harm in being proud of your accomplishments but when a person asks your name and you conclude with your resume and an "important" list of supporting actors in the story of your life...you're doing too much!
The most common insecurities are those expressed outwardly by means of weaves, acrylics, false bank statements, over-priced accessories and luxuries.
But through all of those examples; I must say the funkiest insecurities are those of a rejected person. Be it male or female.
An insecure person that gets rejected from a job or position smells of sour milk-
The company, human resources, and anyone in the position or job they want sucks! Lol! At least that's what they feel. Instead of working on themselves and looking within themselves or even looking at the other person in the position as a place-marker to do better they insult everything and anyone that's making it happen! Insecure! Do better! That's the bottom line, don't be salty when things don't work out. Use your setbacks as a setup for a comeback plain and simple!
An insecure person that gets rejected from another person. My Goodness! That insecurity smells like four day old burning shit! It takes your breath away and causes your gag reflexes to lock up and chock you. Your eyes water and stomach churns-
A woman that gets rejected from the man she wants (and Lord...don't let him be interested in someone else and is actually "foolish" enough to admit that) her words become venomous! And not against the man but against the woman he's interested in. "She's ugly, she's knock-kneed and she walks with a dip, I'm not hating but everybody says she needs to work on her thighs because they rub together..." <---Hating at it's finest! Lol
I could go on with the insults, but you get the picture! The woman is scorned, hurt and mad that the man doesn't want her so she's taken the lady you're interested in down with her!
The man that gets rejected from the woman-
Does the same thing, or my personal favorite: attacks the rejector. "You're a dumb-ass, you won't get no better than me..." I could go on but I suggest you should've hung up the phone or walked away a long time ago. Lol
Last bottom line: Insecurity reeks!
Know that! xoxo
Friday, February 22, 2013
Hypocrisy Brewing
A pot is being stirred. It's a big ol' pot too and it's filled to the brim with hypocrisy, coupled with a side of double standard!
I get it too! We live in a society of "do as I say and not as I do". Too bad that hasn't been working out too well! I'm here to say; what's good for the Gander is GREAT for the Goose!
You can NOT, I repeat, NOT expect someone to live according to the rules of said-individual terms and you not hold yourself to the same standard! Who thinks like that?!
A hypocrite that's who! Why do people feel the need to place others to a higher standard than themselves? They, for a lack of better words; place others on pedastals hoping, wanting and actually believing they can keep that pedastal locked up behind a glass protective shield for later use! For their mere enjoyment and entertainment!
The hypocrite places these ridiculous stipulations on someone that they most definitely aren't living up to, and when they figure out that the jig is up and others can "play the game" just as good, if not, even BETTER; then and only then do they get their little old feelings hurt!
Get REAL!
Things and situations don't revolve around you in your own "little" world! The sooner you get an understanding of that, the better off you'll be. How about this notion? Treat OTHERS the way you desire to be treated! Don't do to someone what you wouldn't want done to you! Be a person of your word. If you say it or feel it, mean it! Don't play games. Think of the consequences of your actions first! Life would be so much sweeter! Imagine that (insert smirk here)
I get it too! We live in a society of "do as I say and not as I do". Too bad that hasn't been working out too well! I'm here to say; what's good for the Gander is GREAT for the Goose!
You can NOT, I repeat, NOT expect someone to live according to the rules of said-individual terms and you not hold yourself to the same standard! Who thinks like that?!
A hypocrite that's who! Why do people feel the need to place others to a higher standard than themselves? They, for a lack of better words; place others on pedastals hoping, wanting and actually believing they can keep that pedastal locked up behind a glass protective shield for later use! For their mere enjoyment and entertainment!
The hypocrite places these ridiculous stipulations on someone that they most definitely aren't living up to, and when they figure out that the jig is up and others can "play the game" just as good, if not, even BETTER; then and only then do they get their little old feelings hurt!
Get REAL!
Things and situations don't revolve around you in your own "little" world! The sooner you get an understanding of that, the better off you'll be. How about this notion? Treat OTHERS the way you desire to be treated! Don't do to someone what you wouldn't want done to you! Be a person of your word. If you say it or feel it, mean it! Don't play games. Think of the consequences of your actions first! Life would be so much sweeter! Imagine that (insert smirk here)
Who Would Accept That?!
Who should accept someone's love that's given half-heartedly? When one person is spreading themselves to other people and not committed? When one person treats love like it's the equivalent to going to the electric chair? Like love means you're missing out on something or losing all of yourself being in love? Who would accept love that's not honest and true? Who accepts love that's only distributed in private like it's a secret that must be kept?Would u accept THAT?!
No one should accept that. No one deserves that. No one is Some one that is worthy of good love. Truth is: It's really not for you to accept because that's not Love! Believe that!
xoxo,
Good Loving
No one should accept that. No one deserves that. No one is Some one that is worthy of good love. Truth is: It's really not for you to accept because that's not Love! Believe that!
xoxo,
Good Loving
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
...that old thang back
Each and every Sunday I'll log onto Facebook to find a flowing water fall of judgment and self-righteousness on my timeline. Imagine that! Sunday!
Doesn't the old song say, "If it hadn't been for the Lord, where would I be?"
Most of the posts are merely wrong interpretations, opinions, and so-called "truths" to get people to change their "wicked ways"
The majority of these "truth-givers" don't care to back up the unsound doctrine with scripture and if questioned by truth-seekers get defensive, shut-down, log-off or just simply delete the questioners from their page and overall life.
Don't they know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?! Don't they realize they've inadvertently begun to hold bible study for those that will seek TRUTH?
Instead; because they aren't truly taught and are seemingly, just merely going off of what Big Mama said, or Aunt Faye said, or what Cousin Tee Tee told them, or Ma' In-Law said; they don't have a clue as to how to defend the word of God or in this case: their opinion!
Yes defend, because on the day of the Lord's return there will be a war, the battle Yolanda Adams sang is not ours but the Lords.
I say all this to say: can't we just go back to that old thang?!
Let's go back to simpler times when Facebook was simply about: Where are you? (and it meant physically)
Doesn't the old song say, "If it hadn't been for the Lord, where would I be?"
Most of the posts are merely wrong interpretations, opinions, and so-called "truths" to get people to change their "wicked ways"
The majority of these "truth-givers" don't care to back up the unsound doctrine with scripture and if questioned by truth-seekers get defensive, shut-down, log-off or just simply delete the questioners from their page and overall life.
Don't they know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?! Don't they realize they've inadvertently begun to hold bible study for those that will seek TRUTH?
Instead; because they aren't truly taught and are seemingly, just merely going off of what Big Mama said, or Aunt Faye said, or what Cousin Tee Tee told them, or Ma' In-Law said; they don't have a clue as to how to defend the word of God or in this case: their opinion!
Yes defend, because on the day of the Lord's return there will be a war, the battle Yolanda Adams sang is not ours but the Lords.
I say all this to say: can't we just go back to that old thang?!
Let's go back to simpler times when Facebook was simply about: Where are you? (and it meant physically)
Monday, February 4, 2013
Natural Nail Fiasco!
...So...there are really NO words left to indicate satisfaction at this point! My nails look a mess and are a far cry from the day I began this natural nail journey!
I awoken once again in the middle of the night and scratched myself so hard on my lower forehead I almost forgot that I'd actually done it and just about started whooping my own ass :-(
Getting dressed is the worse! I'm snagging my outfits, getting tangled in sleeves, having to ball up my fist just to zip anything for the extreme fear I have of hurting myself!!
I've pulled out...or should say found several strands of hair intertwined in the chips of my nails and to top it off....EVERY last one of my nails are cracked across the middle!
I'm consistently adding top coat and nail hardener to these things and all it's doing is making the tear of my flesh more prominent for these strong chipped nails!
This is torture I tell you! I would take a picture, but at this very moment the skin surrounding my right temple is beginning to burn and as I slowly feel my face, there is a thin scratch!!
Got to go...Neosporin to the rescue....again :-(
I awoken once again in the middle of the night and scratched myself so hard on my lower forehead I almost forgot that I'd actually done it and just about started whooping my own ass :-(
Getting dressed is the worse! I'm snagging my outfits, getting tangled in sleeves, having to ball up my fist just to zip anything for the extreme fear I have of hurting myself!!
I've pulled out...or should say found several strands of hair intertwined in the chips of my nails and to top it off....EVERY last one of my nails are cracked across the middle!
I'm consistently adding top coat and nail hardener to these things and all it's doing is making the tear of my flesh more prominent for these strong chipped nails!
This is torture I tell you! I would take a picture, but at this very moment the skin surrounding my right temple is beginning to burn and as I slowly feel my face, there is a thin scratch!!
Got to go...Neosporin to the rescue....again :-(
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