Friday, February 28, 2014

Where Do You Stand?!

It's the last day of the month of February in the year 2014! Where do you stand? Are you keeping resolutions, promises, or commitments? Have you dropped dead weight, menial things, or pounds? Will you re-evaluate your losses and gains, pros and cons; take that information and improve your situation?  Do your goals line up with your daily actions? Is there a finish line, place-marker, or timeline in place? Had it been easy or hard, complicated or simplistic, trivial or significant and do you know how to decipher either? 
Today! Do it today! What ever "it" is. Do it! Don't wait! Where do YOU stand- not anybody else.
I lectured my students today about taking accountability for our own actions! Yes, they tried to hit you but you ran past the designated area and therefore you have to sit out. You played the game of tag. You. You didn't want to get tagged...not hit, and therefore; you ran past the designated area. As a consequence to your actions- you will sit out! 
Simple rules! That's life! 
So now. 
Where do we stand? 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Why... Episode #37

Why is it that when a man and a woman or talking it's not viewed as talking, but everything else....most inappropriateness?
Men and women can communicate effectively, you know, without acting upon a physical or emotional attraction! Maybe not in all cases and all instances, however; it is possible.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Dating...With Children

It's a tricky, quite complicated thing. I've dated men without kids and men with kids. A person with kids never quite understands...or better yet, I'll say, never quite empathizes with the person without kids. It can be controversial and cause aching toes. Of course, relationships are most complicated with kids! Questions arise: 
Do you even like kids?
Can you handle someone else's kids?
What's the parental relationship like with the kids?
How old are the kids?
How many kids?
When is the appropriate time to meet/encounter kids? 
How fresh was the past relationship that the kids came from?

These questions are just the few that are involved, but somehow, extremely crucial in making the decision to date someone with kids. For me, in a perfect world...Khrystian's World...every relationship I encountered or at least felt a connection to would not involve someone else's kids, however; in 2014 over the age of about twenty-five it could really be compared to finding a needle in a very large haystack...a man without kids, that is. Don't let him be easy on the eyes, great build, nice know? Attractive! Don't let him be successful or at the very least goal oriented. They're likely to have multiple kids, especially when you hit the dirty thirties! I'm not saying there aren't any single, unattached, available, successful, ATTRACTIVE men out there with no kids, but what I am saying is, like me; they're the exception to the rule! The unicorn! 
Trust me! This is not a knock on those of us with kids, without kids, or the kids themselves. It's just fact. MY facts. MY reality. And we can agree to disagree, but I'm telling you the sweet tea!
To be quite honest; the easiest relationship involving kids is, sorry to say this, but if and when the kids aren't from a "relationship". Meaning: kids were a by-product of solely having sexual intercourse. Then; either the man has a relationship or not, but the kids aren't majorly factored into relationships. That's not a bonus or preference, again, it's just FACT. 
Take a situation where someone that has about four kids, all from "sexual encounters" or quite possibly relationships, but none ever ended up with marriage. The problem being; they only recognize and acknowledge, to this day publicly, one of the children although they all know of each other and actually have a sibling relationship with one another. 
Being a sincere Daddy's Girl, myself; I couldn't and wouldn't handle that situation and eventually, a relationship is dismantled
Take another situation where the man has a kid or kids but they live out of state. 
Then, you take another situation where the man publicly has multiple kids, but only one from a marriage, an actual union, and we wonder how it works? Kids are important to him, so protection of the kids is important. I agree. Protection from what you ask? I'll say- protection from in and out's. I have a problem with those that introduce their kids to every person they meet. That's just me! Kids are kids. If and when you're serious and close to that "next step" of being one is a good time for the kids to meet the significant other. Kandi Burress said, she'd prefer them to meet straight up. So if there's friction and the kids don't like the person you're dating; you know right away. She's the custodial (thanks Mom!) parent though. That means she has total and complete 24 hour care for her kid. In essence, the kid lives with her. Most men, not all, but most have visitation set-up so the kids don't necessarily live with them. They visit. Have weekends. Days or Nights, or even just moments. It's easier said than done, per se. You can have a serious relationship and never have a "need" to meet their kids. Me, and coming from someone without kids but who's experienced a lot directly and indirectly; I feel Kandi's thinking isn't the best way if you're not the custodial parent. If you tend to bore quickly yourself with a person you meet. If you're a serial dater, what's the use of the meeting and greeting, getting emotionally (or not) attached to the "newest" person? It's a drag! I loathe the revolving door of meeting and getting attached to a man I'm dating family, mother, father, grandparents, etc. so I know it has to be loathsome for kids. It really depends, clearly, on what works best for you.
With that said. Kids should remain in the kid's place and an adult remains the adult. The parent. A parent decides the right time and place, but never should there ever be disregard to either parties feelings. Protection of your kids isn't disrespect of your relationship and protection of your relationship isn't disregard of your kids. There should be a definite balance. Your kids are just that; your kids. They can't do, say or make you feel the way your significant other does. If it were true, you'd be dating your kids. Right? Right! That's gross...and so is treating your kids like you're in a relationship with them. 
Your significant other can't, won't and shouldn't take the place of your kids because...well...that would just be weird too! 
But above this; it really depends on the people, the kids, the relationship, the kids' parent that's not in the relationship too! That person can be something else! Especially IF they still want them or have feelings for them. Ugh! They can then be annoying...for real. Don't even get me started in on the bitter, broken or bruised one! That person just doesn't want their ex-whatever to be happy since they didn't have their happily-ever-after. That situation right there...just put it on pause or go on and delete it real quick. Seriously! 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


I almost lost my Cookie Monster this past weekend😞 ...BUT God! God saved a life. He SPARED a life! Life is SO short! Moments that are instantaneous, that are life-changing, that could be detrimental; these moments that cause you to re-evaluate life are extremely real! When these moments happen it brings a surreal sense of reality that minimal, trivial things are pointless, useless, and a complete waste of energy. You don't get time back. In essence, you don't get moments back, so you certainly have to take those things into account when you're "coasting" through life. Not everyone is here this very day to express in any form how God spared their life through whatever circumstance they'd found themselves in. That, within itself, is a testimony. Sparing says, there's something greater in store later. It says; In this temporary "situation" you are being given an extension of time to get it right. You receive a credit, if you will. So the question becomes; how will you use this extended moment? How will you use the opportunity of extension? Remember! Not everyone gets it! My thoughts:

1. Focus on what's RIGHT, not wrong.

2. Love what you POSSESS, don't despise what you lack.

3. Be COURAGEOUS, not fearful.

4. Defend the POSITIVE, neglect the negative.

5. LIVE each moment like it's your last. 

As I always say:

Live, Learn daily, Love completely, Laugh out loud, and Lose track of time often!!!!

Thank God my Cookie Monster was spared!


Monday, February 17, 2014

...and it begins...

I'm working SO hard on my resentful dismissive personality.  It's not the creature I want to be. It's not the nature I want. As Paul said, "...For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." It's not of God! Anger. Discord. It's minimal.
As the saying goes, holding on to anger or a grudge is like holding a hot coal to throw at someone. The person holding on to the hot coal (anger or grudge) is the one that gets burned! The person(s) that you're "attempting" to throw the coal at is not concerned or worried about your arse, not one bit!!! Lol! It's funny actually. Life's TOO short! Build a bridge and get over it! Better yet, get a life! 
Live and let live ;-)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Valentine's 101 there are few ways you can go terribly wrong when it comes to Valentine's Day fun and surprises! First things first; don't get caught up in the hype of the holiday and turn bitter! Yea, we know you just LOVE and SHOW love to your people every day, all day. But move on! It's just another one of those memorable occasions to celebrate, mmkay?!
Of course traditionally, the original culprits are flowers, candy, teddy bears, jewelry, etc.

Here are a few of my easy-breezy go-to ideas specifically for Valentine's:
1. Undergarments (socks, underwear, undershirts)
2. Pajamas/Various sleepwear
3. Chocolates 
4. Novelty gifts (chocolate-covered something, grooming, electronics,

 Be creative

1. Coupons are always fun!
2. Calendars with themed months are a hit!
3. Personalized photos are easy!
4. Cooking/Painting/Dance/Etc. classes are exciting!

Most importantly, get a flattering card that expresses your relationship...if you can't buy one...MAKE one! You can do this by hand or electronically.

I love, love, love to bake cookies, brownies, a cake, or cupcakes too and decorate them in reds, pinks, and whites. It just adds a little something to the festivities. 
Whatever you choose or decide, make it personal. Have fun and enjoy the moments you create with your Loved Ones. 

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Long Distance Love

I have a friend that's dating someone and haphazardly, he moved away. Over 3,000 miles to be exact. He moved away to pursue law school; a goal he said he got away from due to this thing we call life. For him, life includes; two baby mommas. The question was: Can a long distance relationship work?
The circstances being that the relationship is "new" although they have known each other for awhile, and that she, the person left; views time spent together as of the essence. 
I told her, it's not like he's off in another state because he loves surf board weather. He's there for a purpose. A career. A life-changing purpose. That, of and within itself, warrants patience, understanding, and the conviction to remain with each other. Especially since he made known his goal at the start of them dating. He was a little off for spontaneously up and leaving, but he IS free from distractions in another state. However, the question remains: can this work? What do you all think? 
I'll give it a week and update with some viewpoints of you, my readers and friends.
Ciao for now!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Pronunciation 101

It's Library: lī brèrree or łī brar (like scare) ēē 

Not lie berry 

I can not take you consistently pronouncing words inappropriately. 

~You're welcome

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

In My Song!

If you know me know I LOVES music! I feel music! I ain't shame!
My friends and family always saying, "Girl everything is YOUR song!" Lol
But it's true! 
I love all types of music too...and if I can sing it...well...Watch back!
I miss one of my favorite soulful R&B singers and the great music he put out. Our very own Chocolate Teddy Bear, so I had to go and download some of his tunes. Go check out In My Song!
I like it so much I'm 'bout to break out a "routine" ...but for real ;-) 

Happy Love Month!
Happy Black History Month!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Sunday Gems #22

Pride comes before destruction!

...stay tuned