Monday, December 29, 2014


We're coming into a new year!!!! What I've noticed most, as I see post, are the reminders of all the tragedies surrounding the end of the year. 2014 was not a bad year! Each year brings about both triumphs and trials but if you were to really look back over it (maybe it wasn't your best year to date) but it wasn't as bad as some of the posts I've been seeing. 
As we approach the new year I see a ton of growth resolutions and change resolutions. I also see some negatives responses to others' will to change. Instead of harping on how idiotic I think anyone is for negatively downing a person's desire or will to change (even if that's the resolution every year- it's theirs to do) I'm going to resolve that you take your surface-level resolution "to change" a step further and determine what all it will take to successfully complete your resolutions. I'll challenging you to complete the sentence with a complete thought. "In 2015, I'm going to change by _______________________." 
What are you willing to do?
How long will it take? Mind you some resolutions are as quick as batting our eyelashes while others may take the entire year. Either way: set a timeline. 
What do you need to let go of? ...and don't just say, "negativity" Place a value on it. Instead, complete the thought by saying, "I need to let go of negative thoughts by replacing each one with a positive reminder that I can do it."
Don't just say, "I'm getting a new car or a new job."
What are you going to do to get it? So instead replace that surface resolution with, " This year I will save each week  $100 to put down for the down payment on my new truck." 
"This year, I'm updating my resume and sending it to two companies each week until I get an interview."
Make positive contributions to your resolutions. As always, be realistic! A resolution is not some wish granted by some mythical blue genie. A resolution is what you are going to do. When making these vision boards, glue down both the end product, as well as, what it'll take to get there. Write it down on the back if you need to, record yourself so that you're obligated to fulfill the resolution. A goal means nothing without a plan of action! 
Many blessings to you on your endeavors for 2015!! 

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Holiday Scrooge

A holiday Scrooge is one whose main concern is money and profit and they despise everything to do with Christmas or other holidays. If and when you're dating a Scrooge; here are 10 guidelines for getting through the holidays with them:
1. Share everything with them anyway
2. Care or show concern no matter what
3. Buy it in spite of their attitude
4. Sing louder, but stay on key
5. Wear it anyway and smile
6. Do it regardless
7. Give more willingly
8. Watch it with or without them and play it loud and proud
9. Invite, invite, invite and go, go, go
10. Spend it up and enjoy no matter what

Sunday, December 21, 2014

To Be or Not To Be

The same way you would get reprimanded for misrepresenting the company you work for is the same way Sororities and Fraternities feel, for that matter, about 'mis'representing our organizations. You may be loud, brash, crass, just straight ignorant in your personal life, you may even be that way out in public; but you can not wear your company shirt or broadcast that you work for a company, district, or association behaving in any such manner that is not conducive or productive to the policies and standards of that organization. 
In yet another colorful conversation with my book club someone felt that the television show Sorority Sisters is no different than watching the Housewives' franchise, or Basketball Wives, or Love and hip hop. They felt you can't ban one, without banning the other because they are the same. (Side eye) With me being actively apart of a sorority my opinion was questioned, although I've never seen the show. I've only heard about it, so quite naturally I can't speak intelligibly about something I don't know (the show). What I can say, however, is that if you are apart of something and the image of that "something" is reflected on a national platform weekly; then you should have an opinion. These reality shows are not a black/white thing! Being upset about misrepresentation is not a race issue. There are dozens on top of dozens of sisterhood organizations of all races and cultures. These organizations are life-long and truly just begin once you graduate college, trust me! I am an active, financial member! There are millions of housewives, and many basketball wives, and certainly a few folks that have love and listen to hip hop. The difference is grouping and finance. Women that go on those franchise shows don't represent a brand. They don't represent an incorporated entity. The franchise shows represent individuals. Those individuals happen to categorize themselves as a wife...most of which, in actually don't represent the typical "housewife". Let's be clear: a housewife by all definitions has never held a "job" outside the home and a housewife is most certainly MARRIED. That's just one example though. 
Society chooses to make those shows, along with everything else in the world, about race. No one is boycotting (and taking seriously) The Real Housewives' franchise because those are women from all cities and all nationalities and believe it or not, all socio-economic backgrounds, being themselves and responding to stimuli that producers bait. (A little lesson in television from a communications major with an emphasis in radio AND television) Some shows like Jersey, represent family-groups, at best, but even some individuals in those said families would disagree that the show is a fair or acceptable representation of them. 
I don't expect everyone to understand or even agree with the airing of any or either of the shows, and honestly, again; I can only speak for the Housewives' franchise because that's the only one I watch and I don't just watch Atlanta just because I'm a Black woman and the majority of the cast is Black. I watch all of them from Beverly Hills to New York, with Orange County being my favorite.  
Boycotting has nothing to do with "secrets exposed", "showing true colors", "they're too old for that". It has everything to do with wearing the banner of a brand or an incorporated entity, without acceptance from that brand, and representing them on a national platform without prior permission or a recognized acknowledgment. 
If you don't take anything away from what I'm writing you should take this: If you don't want to watch it (boycott), don't watch it. If it's not offensive to you, move along. If you don't understand why others are boycotting or don't agree, ask, but then don't talk over the explanation confirming that you still won't understand tomorrow because you didn't listen. The issue is NOT the same.
Your brand is EVERYTHING! Perception is KEY! 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Misappropriated Education

So...I'm wondering with the seemingly increased number of suicides...not to say this is the reason; but I did see the below picture posted on a social media site: 
Social media or media the way most people communicate, not to mention seek knowledge. 
Therefore; I infer and finally conclude: 
There is a miseducated guided practice being spread. Yes! You are safe in God's arms. God is always with you. If you were to get on the wings of a dove and fly to Abraham's bosom or travel to the darkest, most tormented areas of hell; God is with you. He leads and guides...always...yes; this is true. 
With all the power God holds, just in his finger tips, alone; He also gives us a will to follow His lead. 
When you feel as if you're hanging from a cliff, or at the end of tunnel, or in the depths of darkness so much so; you can't see your hand in front of you; God will provide an out! A miracle. God gives different avenues. In the case of the above picture, God would provide a step...a landing strip....a helicopter passing by! Something...anything...He's a Way-Maker!
An infant in spirituality might misconstrue the message in that picture. A full-grown, anybody, might misconstrue that message and in a time of distress, see that picture and decide (in their own will) to let go! Our lives matter! Your life matters! By the look of the man hanging...he's terrified! Most of us, if we are in a rut; we are terrified if we feel there's no options! No matter how spiritually in tune we are, for a split second you ask that question: "Why Lord?" The faith isn't in letting go of your's in letting go of ungodly things such as depression, confusion, wrath, anger, rage, envy, etc. 
Fight for your life! 
Focus. Insight. Grow. Heal. Trust.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Thank God

I missed out on the explosion of Testimony Tuesday, Dec. 2nd but as I get ready to turn a new year wiser; I thank God on High for my double D's: delivery and discernment! If I don't have anything else to be thankful for. If there's any good truth to my gratefulness. If there's darkness all around my light and favor; the one thing I'm most gracious of is God delivering me from all things, people, and places not of Christ. His mercy is good! 
I look and listen to testimonies and trials and understand God makes no mistakes. It could have easily been me! 
God saved me!
God delivered me from death's grasp! Misery, confusion, depression, anger, hostility, discontentment, war. 
Look at me: I'm a testinony! I didn't make it on my own. I'm not standing here all alone! 
God saw fit to favor me with discernment to see my friends and foes for who they truly are. My mistake has never been in showing kindness. Their mistake was that they mistook that kindness for weakness. God only shows me all that I need to see. He allows me to feel a spiritual connection and strengthens me to use it daily. Thank God! Those "friends" and even family that have not been for me and never will, or those that pretend to have my best interest at heart but stand by idle hoping for my demise, my downfall, my destruction; don't win. Each time I've fallen; I've been elevated to even higher heights that baffles and bewilders them.
It is Jesus that gives me my opportunity. 
The joy and peace I have because of my delivery and discernment sustains me daily. Philippians 3:13-14 "But ONE thing I DO; FORGETTING those THINGS which are in the PAST; I PrEsS toward the MARK of the HiGH calling in CHRIST JESUS"
Look at me; I'm a testimony!

Love and Light,

In Loving Memory©

Resolution in Loving Memory of Our Beloved Classmate Keyonna Ro'Shelle Newsome Allums

Today, we gather to share the love in our hearts for the memory of our very own whose short time on Earth was overwhelmingly full of love and made such a spiritual impact on us all. God, in his perfect and infinite wisdom, has seen fit to call our beautiful Keyonna to heavens gain as His reward.

"Finding thanks in Thanksgiving or the good in goodbye 
Because God loved you best, we will not question why.
In life we loved you dearly, 
in death we'll do the same.
We're grateful to have known
The Lord was in your heart the day he called your name. 
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone.
A part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your bright smile remain our guide,
And though you're absent from what we see
You're right where you want to be
Until we meet again beautiful friend."

Whereas, Matthew 25:14 begins “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

Therefore be it resolved, that we, the Class of 1999, embrace the family to show our support and love on this day, December 6, 2014 because in light of the passing of our beloved classmate, we have a bond that will connect us for the rest of our lives. We cannot replace Keyonna, but she will remain in our hearts.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Single Girl Gem #109

"Don't play house. It's perfectly acceptable to cater in significant ways when you become a 'significant other'...every now AND then. Don't become predictable."
You still aren't married. Routine expectations are unacceptable until a ring.