Customer Service is for S.H.I.T!!

I'm sorry customer service is doing the damn fool!!  What are these representatives learning during the "supposed" training?!  For as long as I've been a consumer (and that's been forever) the level of dedication towards customer service has diminished year by year!  We've moved away from-the customer is always right to; customer get the heck out of our store unless you're making an obsene purchase!  If you have a question about your product, service or merchandise, please consult someone who gives a damn!
We've lost customer appreciation and concern for clients that are spending their hard-earned, or not so hard at times, money in your establishment.  You barely get a hello when you walk in.  The worker...associate...barista...specialist, whatever "valuable" title they're giving themselves nowadays is so engrossed in their own conversation via cell phone, or employee to employee, or even relationship (boyfriends, husbands, wives, girlfriends) on the job!!  I'll give you some examples and I will be calling out these so-called "wonderful" establishments!  Feel free to comment and add to my list:

Starbucks:  A line of four is standing at your register.  Four baristas are standing behind the counter.  One is looking down, diligently fixing drinks, one is slowly (and I do mean slowly) attempting to complete a transaction with a gift card.  The other two are standing around talking to another employee, that is off for the day, discussing the schedule.  Mind you, the ones that have a uniform on, are on the clock.  Hello?!  Get to work.  Starbucks is known for being the McDonald's of coffee houses.  Get you in, get you out...find out your preference of coffee, write your name on a cup and keep it moving.  But not this one!  No way, no how.  They're standing around and after about 10 minutes realize the line isn't moving, so one of the two standing around decides to help your fellow baristas!
Cache:  Never a dull moment in cache, as I love the clothes, however; hate their customer service, so I've NEVER returned after my last experience...I enter in cache.  Ready to spend my money and I look around there is not one, not even ONE customer associate on the floor!  They could have been robbed blind, so boosters-There ya' go!  Don't say I never did anything for you!  These mofo's had the nerve to leave me on the floor, for...well, I don't remember; but it was long enough for me to do a complete lap around the store (and said people know how long that is) and then choose outfits to try on.  Then actually go to the back where the dressing rooms are and low and behold out comes this young chick...one her personal CELL PHONE, talking swiftly as if she was Wendy Williams giving the latest information to the other-end caller.  She swayed me to the back, and ushered me into the dressing room, all while never missing a beat in her conversation.  Here's the gist of the convo-she and boyfriend live together, or at least shared a place and his family was coming down for the weekend, namely the mother because she said she didn't want her to stay there.  She ws complaining about the boyfriends needy family and how she's stressed.  Clearly the friend on the other end told her to call the boyfriend and explain her frustration.  And wouldn't you know!  She did just that!  When I got out of the dressing room (by now, only staying in the store out of complete curiousity, er, ok, noseyness)  she was on the phone with the boyfriend, in tears, shouting.  There were mid break-up or something.  I don't know!  All I know is when she got off the phone, she felt the need to give me the 4 uno uno. 
Kay Jewelers:  Hello?!  Aren't you supposed to address clients by the last name, preceded by a Mr. or Mrs.?  For those unsure...allow me to train you!  Hell YES!  It's always Mr. or Mrs. when first speaking with the customer or perhaps Sir or Madam.  I mean, by all means, definitely don't fudge up on the pronounciation of their name. 
BeBe:  It doesn't matter which damn BeBe you purchase something from.  You have the right as a consumer to exchange or return if the merchandise doesn't fit.  Who the hell thinks one bebe is different from another.  Yes...it is more work for you.  That's your job.  Retag it, or send it to the appropriate location!
Small Ma' and Pop Sign Shop in League City:  Please hire someone to work at your front desk that is qualified to answer customer questions about your services and policies.  You'r elosing hefty business.  That is All!
I could go on, but I'm exhausted with the lack of personalization and customer concern in the world.  Being a business owner myself and coming from a family of multiple successful business owners; I'll leave you with this!

 Stick with the BASICS!

1. Don't be in such a hurry that you do a double, even triple transaction!
2. Don't call customers or clients by their name if you don't know how to pronounce it or by the wrong name.
3. Do call in for a personal day, if your attitude is fudged up.
4. Do spell and grammar check any and ALL written correspondence.
5. Do keep a smile on your face.
6. Don't complain or bad-mouth ANYTHING in front of customers!

...and this concludes your BASIC Customer Service Khrystian-Tidbits Training 101.  Thank you for tuning in!