After-thought

"I've been meaning to send you a thank you message since the book club meeting. You really had me reflecting about pursuing my husband. I don't regret it all, but it made me think differently about some things. Thanks for asking me that and thanks for writing that book! (Blowing kisses)"

I LOVE that my first ever published book, Single Girl Gems, causes debate, dialogue, and divergent thinking! I'm ecstatic that someone thinks enough of me to share their critique, thoughts, and feedback! Thank you friend!! Hugs and kisses to you!

She's speaking of the question I asked about pursuing "your man" during a discussion the book club was having concerning one of my gems of dating. This particular gem is to allow a man to "court" or come after you. She and I disagreed and she felt that because of her bold and go-get-it to win personality she absolutely should not only go after her goals professionally, but also, go after the man she's interested in! I went after my husband. He didn't call right away, so I called him. I got his number from a mutual friend and called. I asked him out. No argument from me here. My thoughts, my opinions, her thoughts, her opinions. The only difference is...I published a book displaying mine and she read my thoughts and assessed her opinion. I understood her point and we can always agree to disagree. I asked, after hearing a bit more about their relationship and some of their early-bird stages, if she felt; had she not initiated the relationship and took on that "role" (for a lack of better words) of asking him out after not hearing from him does she think her relationship would have went another way. Here you go in a nut shell.

We went through a time. He still wanted to be out, party, hang, you know; stuff young men do. It got to a point that I was like, look now. I'm here but I'm not waiting much longer for you to get it out of your system and want to settle down with me. He realized over time what was important and that he wanted to be with me. So he knew to let it go and make it happen for us. It was rough and it took a few years but he said he knew he loved me.

After hearing that (paraphrased, of course) I asked her did she feel had she not initiated the relationship and followed my gem of allowing the man to assume the pursuant role, would she have saved herself the "headache" or "rough" time, because had he actually pursued HER he would have possibly theoretically surpassed all that shucking and jiving of the partying-young man phase and already been ready to settle down. It could've been a smoother ride. Perhaps! One never knows but that's what I said.

Listen I don't doubt the fact that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Sometimes you gots to go through a storm to appreciate the rainbow, but at the same time...there's ALWAYS room for a what if, ya know?

I appreciate her story and guess what? She's married, so go figure! She did what worked for her. But the conversation was still there, which led to more thoughts from both parties, which led to another blog for me! Life's all good there lol!