Dating 101

Dating can be extremely tricky and there is no sure fire way to insure you're doing it right. Every book, manual, seminar or training...nothing can prepare you accurately for life! All you can do is tread lightly, listen to those that have come before you (well, those that have experience), decipher what will/could work for you and follow your very own true and honest instincts! Here are some of my personal tested, tried and true tips!

When Meeting a Guy:

1. Don't Take His number
I never take a mans telephone number. No matter how pushy or fly he approaches me. If he hands me a business card or attempts to spit his number to me; I simply explain to him that I don't take mens numbers and (if I'm interested) I give him mine. Mind you. I could care less if he uses it, calls the same night or doesn't call until the next month; I've given him my number and I keep it moving!

2. Talk
When he calls you don't shy away from the call. Make the date. Set it up. There is no rule that says you have to spend several days talking on the phone. If the two of you decide to see each other the very next day...and you're available...Go! No reason to play hard to get, he understands you have other men interested in you. Hell, he was! So it's not a surprise!

The Date

1. Chivarly is NOT dead
If he doesn't know how to open a door, hold the door, pull out your chair, walk on the outside closest to the road, take your coat, pick up the check, etc. Leave his ass alone real quick! Always make it your business to date a gentleman. He sometimes comes few and far between, but ladies; a man only does what you allow him to do. If he starts off not opening the door, it may be that he's just so accustomed to other "independent" women racing him to the door and holding it for him. So stand at the door. If he doesn't get the hints throughout the night...make that your first and last date! See rule number 1, because him giving you his number is one of the first signs!

2. Accept Compliments
It's absolutely acceptable to receive a compliment from a man and not think he's just trying to get under your dress or into your pants. Be gracious when receiving your compliment and always say thank you. Never down play the compliment...it's for you and you deserve it. He obviously means it or believe me he wouldn't have said it. Instead of, you have a beautiful smile, he could have easily said; tonight looks amazing! However, a very common mistake some women make is allowing a man to give a derrogatory or degrading compliment. That is not a compliment, it's an insult! If he says anything insulting, derrogatory or degrading excuse yourself and leave immediately! Trust me, he's not worth your time!

3. Dress to Impress
Always look your best. This is not just for your date, this is for you!! When we look great, we feel great! And when we feel great, we are more confident and comfortable. He wants you to look good and show you off, just as much as you want to have him as eye candy and show him off. It's a boost to anyone when their date is being noticed in a great way! Want the night to seemingly never end...look great and have a great conversation!

4. Don't Give Away the Recipe
Hold a conversation. Don't give an exclusive interview. Dating is no fun if you tell everything about you. Sure he has to know your nickname or the amount of siblings you have, he may even need to know some of your surface hobbies, like the arts. He doesn't need to know that the only time you go to see a play is at the hobby center; or that you only like musicals. If you get that intricate he has nothing to learn or try. This is what I call giving the recipe. You can tell him the dish, but let he be creative and want to spend the time to get to know and practice and taste all the ingredients it would take to make you say, M'm, M'm good! There are no surprises or spontaneous gestures otherwise. If he knows you like chocolate cake with strawberries on the side; he'll bring you chocolate cake with strawberries on the side! Let him figure some things out on his own. Allow him to get to know you. He may introduce you to new and exciting things you never thought of or would have imagined doing by allowing him to get to know you.

5. Take Your Behind Home
Sure it's the 21st century, but ladies. You've demanded a gentleman from the time he appoached you up to the date. Don't ruin a perfectly good evening by overstaying the welcome. Yes, you are definitely an adult, but just realize when you decide to stay the night after you've put in all the work preceeding that moment; it's in vain! Give him something to think about (you) and miss (you) and want to see again (you)!!! How can he miss you if you never left...I'm just saying!

Have Fun and Happy First Dating, K~