Tuesday, August 7, 2012

As The World Turns (in real life)...Episode 3

"I met this guy through a mutual friend one day at his house and through talking, I began explaining to him that I was looking for a new place. I'd had an issue with my landlord and was in the process of court matters. He, himself, had a nice place and explained to me that he had another lease property around town. Not only that; he said I seemed like a cool person, someone he could be friends with while he was in town and maybe check out the new Batman movie. I agreed and gave him my number, not sure if he was capable of being friends, but hopeful! At first I was slightly leery because he seemed to want to talk alone and upstairs in his bedroom.
I'm fresh out of a relationship and not really comfortable enough to move on just yet, so I asked a close friend of mine, who happens to be his ex-girlfriends friend, what she knew of him and if he was capable of solely having a friendship. However, now that we've exchanged numbers he contacts me late at night saying he wants to see me, asking me what I'm doing, or trying to get me to come over and watch movies. He assures me with rather slick comments that he could have any women he wanted if he was just trying to get with someone, but he feels that I seem like someone that can be cool to hang out with.
His actions (the late night texts/calls) seem to be questionable. Not to mention the fact I've kind of expressed to him reservations of hanging out with him considering my friend being so close with his ex. Something just doesn't feel right. Not only that; he's told me he's won't accept my reason for not wanting to hang with him and that he's not letting me off that easy! I'm beginning to get turn-offed and creeped out by him. I'm not sure what his motivation is for the constant calling and texting especially since we haven't known each other long at all. It's gotten so bad he's contacting me while I'm at work. I'm thinking, if all you want is a friend, and as you said, clearly could have anybody to sleep with; why are you making such a big deal about hanging out with me and, at this point, creeping me out with your incessant phone calls. The last text I got from him was something in the neighborhood of: 'I was just trying to help you out with your situation and be a friend, you seem cool. Have a good weekend.' What do you think?"

It's pretty clear: You started off very interested or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers! Formulate your opinion based off your encounters with him. You're an adult. As adults, we have discernment enough to know when something feels right or wrong. Talking it out with others may just be your way of seeking further approval to hang out with him. If that's the case; you don't need approval- DO IT! If nothing else, you have someone to "hang out" with from time to time that could very well lead to a great romance! If your concern is the time of day he contacts you- TELL HIM! If he is trying to be "a friend" he'll respect your request of an earlier call time. If it's concern for your friends opinion...well- YOU DON'T NEED IT! No one knows what you want more than you. If you're truly not interested-MOVE AROUND! But it's never cool to lead someone on by entertaining something you have no desire for. You don't want to have him thinking his actions are cool with you or charming all the while you're laughing at him with your friend and actually saying he's creeping you out! Be straight up! Be adult!

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