My Last Thoughts of 2011

It's been good! I've enjoyed 2011. Learned a lot, seen a lot, done a lot! It went by fast, perhaps TOO fast, but it just reminded me that life ain't playing with me or you, yes YOU!
You gots to grab it by the balls and ride that mofo till the wheels fall off! (My mom and dad would be SO proud!)

We ain't making it out alive no matter what and how hard you pray, so in the words of Robert Townsend, "Give BIRTH to your ideas, goals and dreams!"
What you waiting on?! Loosen the ties that got you held up from obtaining your dreams! WAKE UP, it's time to make it happen!
Do it TODAY! Heck, but if you need a new year; let 2012 be your spring board!
Remember: Ideas DON'T make money, PRODUCTION does!

Many blessings to your success'
Khrystian Nichole

Vision Boards

Who's done one?! How does it work out for you? Truthfully, are you hitting those goals and seeing those visions?!
Inquiring minds want to know?

Cliques (Are You an Individual?)

I never quite understood the idea of cliques in the workplace, church, organizations, yet alone as a grown man or woman, over the age of adolescence. For those that may not know, a clique is a group of people that MUST stand by each other no matter the cost, good or bad, through thick or thin. They ALL either love you or hate you and they most definitely can't be seen in public without the others.
It's different from a fraternity or a sorority in that; there's no financial obligations, community service, programs or policies in place. There's no intended goal, except to feel "wanted" or in the supposed "in" crowd or quite possibly like someone "has your back".
It's also different than just gravitating towards like-minded people! I'm not ousting any one and their friendships! It's not about being "friends" and even associates...No; this blog is strictly and strategically about individuals that are DEPENDENT upon their said "friends" for validation or justification.
Maybe in junior high, I'll even give you high school was it appropriate to have to 'call a friend' to make sure they'd be someplace in order for you to attend. Hey! It's quite possible you didn't have your own identity and were still seeking, indulging and molding it! But come on, in college, you were supposed to start exploring interests and taking classes or joining clubs, and networks to begin gratifying any and ever possibility you could so that (hopefully in a perfect world) once you'd graduate there would be a noticeable "personality" to you! You'd come into your OWN. Own mind, ideas, thoughts, goals, visions, desires!
30, 35, 40 and Lord help us all, certainly not over 45 should you STILL be seeking acceptance of others! Live your life. You shouldn't only go somewhere you're invited if, "you go too!" or as long as your friend is invited too, or you and your friend can ride together! It most definitely shouldn't be your concern who's on a guest list. Are you there?! Then, okay! Get up and go if you want, or don't go if you don't want; but for goodness sake don't rely on the opinion or "feeling" of someone else to get you there! *NEWSFLASH* we don't take our last breaths together and we're certainly not born together! Even twins have two separate times they're born*

Childish

I'm thinking you had to have had a mediocre to rough childhood and possibly having a foul current adult-life if you constantly feel the need to boast that you're "deleting" friends, followers or contacts!
My opinion: this world wide web has given us such great access to information and even greater ability to act a fool, if willing!
It's one thing to make a blanket statement about things you may or may not view on the Internet or within your parameters of the plethora of social media sites there are, but come on; who really cares if you're Not a friend?!
To publish that statement is simply childish! It's not like someone will lose sleep over the loss of your friendship! Ugh, I take that back, because one of the ten year olds I teach just might feel lost!!
On the flip side, why would you be upset if you lose a said friendship? People act a fool with each other every day. Whether faking and shaking in each others face, or letting you know...and everyone around you, just how much disdain they have for you! So be it! Stop wasting time and energy on having a thousand friends or focusing on if someone likes you or not. For those that feel like the click of your mouse gives you POWER...a power you've never had before, and I might add; a short-lived and pathetic power...carry-on!

I'll leave you with two things:
1. My Khrystian Tidbit:
Sometimes you have to cut people OFF and you don't owe them an explanation! They're weeds in your flourishing garden.

2. Notice the CORRECT use of lose, loss, lost! Each one, teach one!

Good day!

Christmas Time!

Love, love and love some more! Some people are SO busy "posting" the true meaning of Christmas and judging everyone else's household, or counting someone else's bank account; they've forgotten to sweep around their own front porch!!
ALL holidays are man-made Dag! That doesn't mean people can't have fun in celebrating each one! You should be remembering the Reason for your Season of LIFE, point-blank and period at all times!!
The reason for this season is GIVING! Jesus gave His life up to take on our sins. He paid a magnificent price. He doesn't ask us to give up our life because the debts already been paid, but in reverence to Jesus we GIVE, willingly in the same spirit!
I've seen all sorts of rude, condescending and down-right ignorant posts this entire month! Whether it had to do with what some think of as expensive purchases, Santa, family, Jesus, faith, religion! I mean really, get YOUR life right!
When you were growing up innocently nobody made you feed the ding dang on homeless, instead of giving you gifts! You can do BOTH like most other well-balanced people in the world! It's perfectly okay for a two or four or six, heck, even 10 year old to still believe in Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! You didn't have a problem taking them to see Twilight, or Alvin and the Chipmunks, or the Muppets or Rio or Shrek!! Need I go on?! You probably put up a tree and hung lights, been participating in all the sales and accepted gifts from others; and I know you had your behind out for black Friday!
If you don't believe in the holidays or certain holidays don't participate in ANY! Don't eat BBQ on those man-made holidays offered to celebrate MEN and WOMEN you don't know! Go to work instead! Make sure to give FULL price for everything, don't partake in the sales!! Stop celebrating you birthday and don't accept anything else someone gives you! I mean seriously! You're ridiculous!
Don't deprive your kids, your family or yourself! Teach about the Good Lord at ALL times and not just when it's convenient of you to defy celebrating when others do!
Heck, I know the true meaning of Easter, and I know SHE'S a pagan god. I call and celebrate it as RESURRECTION SUNDAY, but when I have a child I'll let them take a photo with a bunny and they can egg hunt, because it's ALL in FUN! And no, they won't call it Easter Sunday, but they'll understand why! Not just that they won't! My parents taught me, and I'll teach my kids!
It just amazes me how you've lived your life...and all of a sudden, you're SO holy, you can't do, say or partake in anything....er, excuse me...partake in WHAT you don't want to!!
Trust me, regardless of my rant; I understand where you're coming from, but your zeal needs to be used for GOOD and not to tear down others!
With that said,
Merry Christmas to All and to All a good night!
XOXO

The Help

So what I'm late! I really didn't want to see this movie at first! I get tired of seeing the misuse, abuse, mistreatment and outright hatred of anybody, never the less, a race of people that look like me! It still irritates me that Black people, no matter what ethnicity or racial background, can be so ignorant with one another. It saddens me that oppressed people can't ban together and FIGHT!
I look at the movies set in slavery times and I just know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that me with my slick-mouth; would not have made it out alive! I would've been trying to gather a revolution, run away, or kick some booty!!! I say that now, because I was born in the time I was born, but no one can truly understand or empathize what those people, even if it was a grandmother or mother, what a time like, The Help, could have been like! What really cooks my grits is that Black people overall, NOW, have the audacity to be racist with each other! Thinking skin-color separates us. When in actuality; if you're born BLACK, that's all White Folks see you as...BLACK! So get a grip! And get your life right!
I digress...
The Help, certainly wouldn't be placed on my "Top Movie" list, but it was certainly entertaining and slightly endearing! It certainly made some light of the struggles and REAL life of those that lived and worked at that time. Kathryn Stockard most undeniably got flack for her portrayal too, but hey; that's life! People will talk if you do or if you do not, so DO YOU!
My favorite character was in fact- Bryce Dallas Howard as Hilly Holbrook, the town's racist and snooty ringleader! I LOVED her! Be mad if you want but she was convincing, crazy and confidently racist! A true depiction of my idea of White Folks back in the day! Without her....who would Minny have fed sh$t to!? LOL! That was the highlight of the entire plot!
Time for me to give a Khrystian Tidbit Reality Check: Say what you will and feel any old way about it, but we STILL have Hillys and Skeeters around, even in 2011 as we approach 2012. You work with 'em, shop with 'em, and are connected to 'em in some kind of way! They can't stand to see you coming, and will put on a happy face around you, but be careful out here...to them; Black Folks (no matter how light or dark or what city you from or how much money you make) you're STILL the Help! Always will be! Oh, they'll invite you to their homes, or clubs and even place you in a great position at work, but mark my words...there's a reason! They just might have something to prove (things that make you go hmmmm) ;-)
Let me stop stepping on toes!
Progression is a Beautiful thang! Check the movie out if you haven't already or better yet, read the book too! Let me know what you think!

Merry Christmas

With much love,

Favorite Holiday Movies

In the spirit of Christmas and the holidays, what are your favorite holiday movies? I usually begin watching mine during the week of Thanksgiving and don't stop until after the new year! Here are some of my absolute favorites in no particular order:
1. Home Alone
2. This Christmas
3. Charlie Brown Christmas
4. Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
5. A Christmas Story
6. The Grinch
7. Christmas with the Kranks
8. Home Alone: Lost in New York
9. Prancer
10. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
11. The Santa Clause
12. Eight Crazy Days
13. A Very Brady Christmas

Huh?!

I don't know anyone that can't say abc's or don't remember, My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nachos being the easiest way to learn and MEMORIZE the planets in order from the sun! Somebody lying!!
There are actually people raising a generation and training educators to stop teaching these pneumonics and begin allowing the students or children to create their own.
Nothing's wrong with expanding creativity and knowledge, but to just send someone out into the wilderness ill-prepared is ludicrous! Some people just say dumb sh¥t without thinking and have the audacity to blame it on research! WTF?! Research didn't tell you that! Or better yet, show me this research...who was researched?!
Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Leap Frog, Carmen SanDiego; why you think they've made a killing over the years?! Place a rhyme of knowledge over a catchy beat, and see who won't remember it!

Married On Mondays

Mary B. Morrison's pseudonym, Honey B, wrote a book my book club chose to read for the month of November. Granted its not MY particular style of literature, but it serves a purpose!
It was slightly too pornographic for me, not to mention I didn't agree with all the adultery and fornication. It was realistic, in an unrealistic way.
It's a tale of three sisters, same age, same father, different mother all sent to live with their father at the same mid-teen age because their father was more financially stable than each of their mothers. Spending their earliest years separately; they gain the personality of their mothers. However, their values, morals and identities become shaped by their father!
Each women is established into their own lifestyle when the book opens; they, together, own and operate a bakery with only mentions of their father. The father is imprinted as some sort of wealthy, take-no-prisoners, won't allow his daughters to act a fool with each other, and won't allow anyone else to act a fool with his family- type of man! All three of the daughters definitely hold him to high-esteem and won't involve him in every day matters unless it's life-threatening. You may ask at this point, is the father apart of the story-line? Well; that's for me to know and you to find out ;-)
Back to the daughters, the main characters: One daughter seems to have the perfect marriage, husband is a partner at a law firm, another daughter is shown as the matriarch of the three sisters and holds herself and her husband, also a partner at the same law firm as the brother in law, in high esteem. The third sister is a "virgin" lesbian, that loves her partner as well as her man on the side! This dynamic makes for a huge mess that tangles all the sisters into a web of sure-fire destruction from beginning to end!
Each sister has a guilty pleasure, an appetite for money, lustful desires and a willingness to give ANYONE their greatest fantasies!
The life those three sisters live is a life I've never known or heard of; someone has, but not me. Each sister truly just wants to be loved for who they are collectively and individually and give love unconditionally in return! My favorite quote from the book was:
"Never marry anyone with little to give or nothing to lose."
That is TOO true! I'm taking that quote with me as I continue my love's journey!
In the book there was a location called, Fantasy Island. Now, for the purposes of this blog; Fantasy Island is exclusive to your thoughts or ideals. However, in the book it was a place of absolute pleasure for the intended individual. You could walk into a legitimate bakery and with the RIGHT order and standard price, set out for a life-changing appointment! An appointment you were sure to keep and not a soul would know about!
Because there were three sisters and only one Fantasy Island compound. Each sister used their "skills" and personality to create a "perfect" fantasy quarter! Each quarter unique and fit to suit a sexual style!
During our book club meeting we were given materials (various magazines, glue, scissors, construction paper) to create our very own "Fantasy Island" collage, based on the book of course. Maybe after you read it, you'll do the same! You may now be asking; what is the book about? Did the husbands know? Did anyone get caught up? Where are the mommas? What about the daddy? What does married on Mondays mean? Does the law firm play a role? You should be asking those questions...and MORE!

Happy Reading

P.S I've included my collage of Fantasy Island. Want to know what it all means? Read the book!
;-)

Khrystian Tidbits 2011

*Everything done in the dark does come to light! Be ready when it does!

*Sometimes you have to cut people OFF and you don't owe them an explanation! They're weeds in your flourishing garden.

*You can't teach what you don't know, and you can't lead where you don't go!

*Never marry anyone with little to give or nothing to lose!

*Apologizing just to say you were "the bigger person", does not make you the bigger person.

*Don’t promise when you’re happy, Don’t reply when you’re angry, and Don’t decide when you’re sad.

*Don't get confused between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.

*If a prostitute and a ruthless business man can fall in LOVE...anyone can!!

*Practice what you preach and preach ONLY what you practice!

*When older people try to tell you how bad your generation is, remind them who raised, trained and brought it up!

XOXO,
Khrystian Nichole

Judge Not!

Seriously! People are posting, tweeting, writing articles and buzzing about how OTHER people spend their money and time. It's really not your business if someone stands in line for days to get something or not, or skips a bill to pay for something or not.
I wouldn't have even known about these issues had I not been reading other folks opinions on it! I'm just amazed at the hypocrisy I've been reading and hearing. Two things in my life, among many I've for sure learned; 1. A parents love will cause them to go above and beyond for their kids 2. People will usually go after what they want regardless of what you think or how you feel!
Before you go judging someone or adding and subtracting money from their bank accounts remember how you:
Participating in the madness of black Friday
Stand in lines (with your kids on a school/work night) to catch a midnight movie
Move/switch, not pay or pay late on your bills to get something else first
Deplete your entire savings to purchase a dream or create a new reality
Still give your child or children something for their birthday/Christmas/etc even after they come home failing or acting up in class
Went in the red or overdraft your checking account
Got a new car although you were upside-down with your old car
Eat sandwiches to save money or avoid eating out
Wear Christian Louboutin and drive a Honda civic (as Charles Grant said)
I mean come on, the list could go on and on! Stop judging other folks' walk! I don't stand in line or purchase these shoes that's causing this frenzy either, but good for me and those that don't! Those that do, enjoy yourself!
That's life! We won't always agree with someone else's values or choices, but it's not YOUR, yes YOU, place to judge!
Why you mad?!

Fall in Friends

I wondered why the phrase, "fall in love" is used. I've come up with my own validated reasoning behind it. Falling in love is synonymous with when you "fall" into something or over something or "fall" down.
Think about it! When you usually fall it's unexpected, exhilarating, jolting, scary, can be life-changing, etc and that's everything LOVE is and more!
Falling in love is great, but I feel people should "fall" in friends FIRST! Become good friends, best friends; friends before lovers!
Being friends first could possible cause each of you less likely to hurt each other or be reckless with each others feelings and emotions.
What do you think?

Doctors Office Beef

Why is it that you go into the doctors office and, with each visit no doubt, have to fill out paper work?
I get that on the FIRST visit they need to have insurance info, medical history, family medical history and current medications or ailments but good Lord; after the first visit, especially if you're the SAME person and it's consecutive appointments! Must they waste paper AND time having you fill out this nonsense?!
BUT here's the real root of my beef:

Never mind they make you sit and fill this info out CLEARLY-
They don't READ it!! I know this because you finally get back with the nurse and she comes asking the same questions that were on the "mandatory" paper!
My opinion! If you're going to ASK these questions, don't make me waste paper writing then down and if you want me to WRITE them down, don't ask me them verbatim! Dag! Common sense! The last office visit I went to, when the nurse asked me something that was on the paper I simply said, "I wrote it all down!"
My thing is; not only does the nurse ask you the same questions you wrote down...here comes the doctor: "So you're allergic to aspirin?" Is that what it says on the paper you're reading? Isn't that what I told your nurse and she typed the info into that iPad looking gadget?! Hello?! But, I simply say, "Yes."
Well as you should know by now I try to offer suggestions whenever I have "beef". So here goes:

Having a generic form is fine, however ONLY current information should have to be filled out. For example CURRENT issues or complaints. Have it already in the computer your patients name, address, medical history and allergins! If something needs to be changed; have a place specifically for that.
Online options! Online check-in for paper work. Hello?! Go GREEN!

XOXO,
Khrystian Nichole

Last Minute Gift Ideas!

With the Christmas holiday rounding near many of us need those last minute gift ideas and/or stocking stuffers! And by last minute, I don't mean Christmas Day; I mean the week of Christmas! Here are some ideas I've come up with! These can be for family, friends or associates! Add to my list or not!

1. Cd/DVD/Book combinations
For instance: Sex And The City book, movie and soundtrack;
The Help, He's Just Not That Into You, Waiting to Exhale, Color Purple, etc

2. Gift Cards
Anywhere THEY love, not YOU love! LOL! Restaurants, book stores, specialty stores, iTunes, etc

3. Home Decor or Electronics
This requires a relationship of enhancement. The gift should be something they genuinely could use

4. Wine/glasses/cork
Nothing better than a tasty wine! A fun either personalized wine glass or a nice set conducive to that wine selection and an even more fun cork

5. Accessories
Glasses, hats, scarfs/glove set, JEWELRY, etc

6. Make-up
Or it's accessories

Now back to my shopping cuz' I'm JUST beginning!

Let the Good Times Roll!

Nothing like having some holiday cheer with friends!!! Happy Holidays!

Khrystian Tid-bit

Grow UP!!  Form your own opinions and fight your own battles!  Stop relying on cliques, crews, da homies, your goons, or WHOMEVER else you try and claim!! (That's sooooooo middle school...get a LIFE!)

Here's to the grown....and the SEXY!
~smooches~

As the World Turns (in real-life)... Episode 2

"Hey! How are you doing? I hope you are doing great and staying blessed. I have been trying to get in touch with someone and they're not returning my calls. They owe me money and wont call me or send me my check. Facebook... erased. And emails or calls no response.  All this what happens, didn't only happen to me!! It happen to a lot of other girls and I really can't get in touch or make contact, so I was wondering if you could advise me? Please let me know and God bless you! I really appreciate it. Ciao ciao"

So often we become victims of our kind hearts and circumstances.  I think the most important thing to do, is going to either- follow through legally, that is provided you have proper evidence that money is owed to you, continue contacting via web, ask the other girls how they handled the situation, or charge it as a learning lesson.  The lesson: ALWAYS have signed documents, contracts, agreements, whatever, when conducting business.  Not only that; don't do work or complete work in full until you're either paid partially or on the agreed upon terms.  Set deadlines.  Set parameters.
Business is business.  So often people jump into a so-called "business" situation not really understanding what they are doing or whom they're entering into that "business" with.  As once said on Jerry Maguire (I love that movie); "It's not show-FRIENDS, it's show-BUSINESS!"  Treat it as such!  Going into a business arrangement with someone and not having a contract is like like working for someone where you have to pay their bills and when it's time for you to get paid; you actually expect them to have money to pay you!  Umm, hello?!  You just had to PAY their bills!  It just doesn't happen...not realistically anyway! 
However, God's not sleep.  He takes care of his children.  Maybe they needed the money more than you, maybe God has something much better in store for you!  Whatever the situation; count it ALL joy!  It'll all work itself out in due time!

First Date FAQ's

A first date can be quite awkward and I don't know about you, but; I despise the mundane questions: Where'd you go to school? How many siblings do you have? What do you do? Blah, blah, blah...
Here are a few "frequently" asked questions that may alleviate uncomfortable silences and ignite blazing conversation! Could also give a greater insight into their personality without asking, "How would you describe your personality?"  Feel free to add to my running list...

•What's the last book you've read?
•What's the most beautiful place you've ever seen?
•How do you measure success?
•How do you measure happiness?
•3 worst qualities?
•3 best qualities?
•What do you love to do in your spare time?
•Where's your next trip?
•If money was no object and you could go anywhere, where would it be?

~Happy Dating~

Prioritize

I'm ALL about progression, empowerment and inspiring but let me tell you like this: I would never leave my Fo'show (like the old folks say) for a Don't Know!  It's just not gon' happen! With that being said, and yes, I'm 'bout to lose some readers and possibly friends cuz the truth hurts and nobody ever really wants to hear it! But I have to say this!  It's gone too far! 
Pyramids, inverted pyramids, sideways pyramids, people we've all at some point seen them;  saw a blessing, saw an opportunity and jumped at it! Trust me! I have!  However, I have the good sense that God gave me, to know that when I did indulge in one of the many companies, businesses and or programs out here, my motto was always- "Show me the MONEY!" Not only show me the money in my bank account, but I'll keep my original career, job, or livelihood until I've actually arrived!
Trust me when I say I'm not pointing fingers! EVERYBODY wants the American dream!  Who wouldn't want to be self-sufficient, your own boss, setting your own schedule, taking luxurious trips around the world, spending money as if you had your own money vineyard in some exotic location where there was never the threat of a drought or any other natural disaster?!  You're lying to yourself if you say, "not me!"

Of course everybody has their own idea of what financial security looks like.  But, you reap what you sow! Sow good seed and your harvest will be plentiful!  Sow the right seed and you'll reap for a life-time!  Quitting your career to begin selling an idea, goal, or product is beautiful, if you're able to do it!  Hello?!  Key phrase, IF, IF, IF you're able to do it! Not if you're struggling to pay utilities, medical bills, insurance, house notes, car payment, cell phone, even gas!!!!  Anybody can quit a job and now become a burden to society just to say you work for yourself, but are you sustaining?  Maintaining?  Keeping your head above water?  Times are hard for EVERYBODY, and I'm not just talking about financially; I'm speaking on mentally, spiritually, physically...the woes of life creep upon everybody and no one is immune to daily struggles no matter how large or small.  I suppose my point in all of this is to say: don't stress someone elses life out because of life decisions you make!
If you want to sell a dream, goal or product GO FOR IT!  Do it, but if you've quit a job to solely do that and now you around here struggling to make ends meet, you could easily get from in front of the computer emailing or out of a mixer or meeting long enough to get a job that can handle your everyday expenses. Part-time. Seasonal, whatever floats your boat!  I take serious offense to a person using terminal illnesses that hit close to home to play on the emotions of a consumer to make a buck!
Again, I must say: Show me the money! If you're in the business of selling products, dreams or goals and you aren't living the "life" you're SELLING me.  Please move around until it has come around!  You around here selling dreams and you, yourself are busted and disgusted?!  How does that work?!  We (your target audience)  need the visual!  Your business is not our plan, it's not our vision or passion.  It's yours!  You have us here, or there or reading but... SHOW the money!
Of course I've heard of starting on the ground floor, and that's superb if, like I said; it was our plan, our vision, our passion. But it's not, it's yours! Do SOMETHING with it!  Have INTEGRITY!  Be CREDIBLE!  Everything else WILL follow...
XOXO,
Great Luck!

Professionalism 101

There are some things that, in a professional setting, you should already know and practice.  However, it has come to my attention that not everyone graduated from the same School of Common Sense, so in my extreme desire to maintain  my community service hours I've come up with a crash course on professionalism. 

The word professionalism means the conduct, aims, or qualities having interest and desire to do a job well as holding a positive attitude towards the profession. 

 Here are a few tips...feel free to add:

Be Direct!
*No need to sugar-coat. Be specific with expectations of others. Say what you mean and mean what you say!
*Don't leave room for misinterpretation. Stick to what you expect and have a back-bone when a professional decision is questioned.
Be positive!
*Take CONSTRUCTIVE Criticism
Proofread
*How ebarasssing to hce misspelled weeds! <--Precisely why spell AND grammar check are necessities
Be Articulate!
*Nothing worse than listening to someone mispronounce words or not know how to accurately explain themselves.
Disagree Amicably
*You wont always agree, be right or get your way; however, remember you're in a professional setting! *Don't roll eyes, huff and puff or storm off as if you're six years old on a playground (no offense to those mature six year olds)
*Don't be sarcastic (if they have a mouth like mine) you may get your feelings hurt.
Be Prompt
*To be early is to be on time and to be on time is to be late and to be late is unacceptable.
Be tolerable
Read your contract
*Know your job, your role and your responsibilities! When you do, you're not easily influenced nor swindled into a position you're not comfortable with!
*In a professional setting know your rights! Stick by them.
When offended address the issue head-on
*If the offense made you angry; if it doesn't primarily affect your life or livelihood give yourself a cool-off period in order to maintain composure!

Here's to a  more professional, POSITIVE and productive working environment!

Out of Control!

It's appalling! What sick individuals want to resort to broadcasting sexuality under the mask of "tolerance" on a pre-school educational program?!! Who does that?
Sesame Street has been around for decades, I grew up on it, you grew up on it, somebody you know grew up on on it! It is an educational program that utilizes muppets (body puppets) to teach and entertain pre-school age kids on the subjects of colors, shapes, and numbers for goodness
sake!
Why on earth are there people petitioning for a same-sex marriage or ANY type of marriage to be aired between Bert and Ernie?!
Bert and Ernie are FRIENDS that were created to look very different from each other but yet love, respect and have tolerance for each other!!!! Children, now a days, have enough to learn and take in with out us placing sexuality upon them before they're freaking potty trained! I mean, where do you people come from?! Get some self-esteem, get some self-love and get some real business!

M.O.V.E.

Don't allow being in a rut define or dictate your lifestyle! Terri McMillian tweeted something very similar to this and I totally agree! Sometimes when we lose a job, a family member, status in life, etc. it can and will cause you to get into a rut. I like to call it a funk! Sometimes your mindset can cause this funk. It doesn't always have to be a loss, sometimes we have our own private battles within our minds, bodies and spirits! I'm here today to say, MOVE!

Motivate yourself out of your funk. Concentrate on the GOOD and POSITIVE in your life!
Organize your thoughts. Contain them. When you feel negativity creeping in; dismiss those thoughts, feelings or desires! Think happy thoughts. Read a scripture or say a prayer. Make it your business to focus or the "happy" of life regardless the circumstances surrounding you, or that you're standing in the center of!
Value yourself! YOU matter to someone, somewhere! No matter how point-less, worth-less, or inefficient you feel; understand that your purpose is far greater than anything you could or will imagine! Know there is MORE to life than what we are seeing!
Emerge yourself in positive change! Hustle-up onto good fortune. Create opportunities of happiness! Then, and only then, will you begin to see the rainbow at the end of your storms!

No one is beyond cloudy days, thunderstorms, and natural disasters, however; it's all about your recovery!

XOXO,
Khrystian Nichole

In the Words of Boris...

Boris Kodjoe, whom most of us remember from the cable series, Soul Food, began a twitter topic titled; How to be a Man.  If you at all follow my blog, you undersatnd that my position has and will always be that; only a man can teach a man how to be a man and vice versa for women.  Not only is Boris Kodjoe a gorgeous man, he seems to have a genuine heart and a kind spirit.  He has a lovely marriage to Nicole Ari Parker, and together they have a beautiful family. (side-note) Boris and Nicole Ari met on the set of Soulfood, and their parents actually initiated, or I should say, encouraged their union!

After his twitter rant on the topic, he made certain to clarify that he is, "...no expert but, it's how I do it."  I wanted to share these with you.  His ideas were definitely on point, and conveyed precisely what my definition of a great man would be.  Here's his take on, How to be a Man:

*In bed, take care of your woman first. When she's satisfied you are DA MAN!!!

*Communicate without cursing. You don't need to curse to make a point. Cursing shows lack of substance.

*Get your passport and travel. A man needs to see the world.

* Know how to cook and clean. It'll show her that you don't need her but that you WANT her.

*Fix or build something with your hands. It'll show her that you are capable of taking care of a home.

*Laugh at yourself. A woman likes a man who doesn't take himself too serious.

*Embrace your imperfections.

*Stay in shape. It'll show her that you care about yourself and therefore are able to care about her.

*Take care of your responsibilities. Anything less is unacceptable. A boy is irresponsible, not a man.

*Open her door and pull out her chair. It shows her that you honor traditional values. Trust me, she will do the same.

*Be present! Take her in with your eyes and ears. Your attention will make her feel loved and she won't ever nag you.

*Read a fucking book! (Sorry, violation of 'no cursing' rule) But seriously, ignorance is a major turn-off. Book on tape will do.

*Have an ambition. You don't need to be rich but you need to show direction and motivation. Keep a job!

*Last one for today: Treat a woman the way you would want your daughter to be treated. Anything less is unacceptable.

There you have it...in the words of Boris!  I admire men AND women whom value their relationships and motivate others to do the same.  It's refreshing and enlightening... Thoughts?

Khrystian Tidbit

Everyone is NOT like you, all you can do is pray and move on.

...in the Air, up there

Love is in the air somewhere....just take a deep breath!  I'm getting several invitations in the mail, RSVP'ing weekly to some type of shower, bridal party, or event, celebrity weddings are being broadcast for us all to witness...so L.O.V.E is particularly in the air.  No one is beyond craving it.  Not just the love, real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love, but also the love that sets you on a pedestal from everyone else. 
Love makes you act, think, say things differently!  It gives you a specific glow that EVERYONE around you notices.  Love causes people around you to see a change...a positive change.  A renewed spirit.  A unique characteristic that is infinite in power.  
Love is most certainly in the air somewhere.  A smile widens onto your face and your eyes sparkle with anticipation.  Everything you see and everything you've ever known is now seen through rose colored glasses.  Love happens when you least expect it...just take a deep breath!
~Khrystian Nichole

Faux Pas

There are many times where you SEE someone and you automatically may think they look good; physically and are attracted to them! But...
Here are some of my particular personal turn-off moments when I see someone and THEN:
1. They open their mouth!
-Whether their voice doesn't match what they look like cuz it's too high or too low. That's ackward, to say the least. The thing that is truly a turn-off is when they don't speak intelligible! Having an accent is one thing.  A thing, that I must say, will turn me OFF if its too heavy. I don't care if it's southern, northern, eastern or western...too much of anything can never be good. However, the worst is speaking English, that is so incomprehensible you do think it's another language. Can you say, "Yuck Mouth." which goes into the next tier of disgust: you see the nice looking person and then they open their mouths and it's yuck mouth literally!!!
- You can tell a ton of information about a person based on their hygiene!  If you're over the age of ten; you know that!  Bad breath, food smeared onto teeth, yellow teeth...it ALL and then some says plenty about your character.  Please for the love of all things Gucci, visit a dentist, brush your teeth and floss regularly.  There's just something about fresh breath and pearly whites that can get you far.  Ever heard of, "Have a coke and a smile."?
-They are vulgar, obsence and just too much for anyone on Earth.  It's a MAJOR turn-off!  You're embarrassed to speak to them in private, let alone bring them around people you know! You NEVER know what will fly out of their mouth. Enough said!  
-They have NO conversation.  The conversation always stops at, "Hi." with them.  You're constantly in a tug-o-war of, "what you doing?"  That's very intense.  Okay, they're nice to look at, but you sit in a room only watching television, or watching other people talk, or the best dates you've ever had are at the movies, a play, church, or anywhere else you don't have to talk.

2. Their attitude precedes their overall nice physique.
- There are some people that either don't realize they are nice-looking and therefore, their confidence is less than zero then you’re constantly building them up. Which is exhausting, by the way. Then, there are those that have confidence from Earth to Pluto, when frankly; they just look good, they have absolutely NOTHING else going for themselves! At all. We can’t forget to mention the one with that overbearing confidence and they actually DO have something going for themselves, however; their nasty or toxic attitude overshadows how nice they look therefore, you could care less to be in their presence. Again, the problem isn’t the way they look, it’s with the way they behave either alone or in a social setting with you.

How about you?

Entering into any relationship I’m quite certain there are specific social behaviors you either are attracted to or turn off by. Have you thought about your own faux pas’ that you try and avoid while getting to know someone? 

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

As I pay homage to Arsenio Hall and C+C Music Factory...I believe it to be fitting, almost laughable!  Those of you babies born in the 90's and thereafter...sucks to be you right now, because you have no idea what or where that phrase comes from....

Men that aren't catty STAND UP!
We need you!
We want you!!
I know I'm about to get some major flack for this here post, but in the words of Tamar  Braxton...
IDontGiveADamn.com

I also want to preface this post by stressing that I am in NO WAY, NO HOW attempting to teach, tell, or train a man how to be a man.  I don't have the qualifications or equipment; just as a man has no place, right, justification or qualifications to teach a woman how to be a woman.  However, this is America and we certainly have room for opinions.  I read somewhere that opinions are like (sorry to be crass) assholes, and EVERYONE has one!  It's true!  Here, my opinion is more of a series of general observations that I've been witnessing and privy to lately; I suppose it would have to be since I became old enough to care.  Since men have been placed into numerous categories other than: father-figure, friend, or mate.  Here it goes:

Is it just me or is there a massive influx of catty men?! Bitchassness (as Diddy said) and such and such!?  I've been working on this blog for sometime now.  Gathering research.  Collecting research.  Examining evidence.
In my observations and experiences it's not discriminant of age, ethnicity, sexual preference or culture either because I'm seeing it EVERYWHERE and with ALL types of men in the workplace, social networks, politically, religiously, leisurely...EVERYWHERE! From all ages, from all backgrounds and from BOTH heterosexual and homosexual men!
At least you know what you're getting with the homosexual male, they're (typically) supposed to feel like your "sister-girl"!  I have these type of friends, so I'm well aware of their behavior.  I do have some homosexual male friends, that aren't catty, but generally speaking; I'm talking about the many years over...stereotypical homosexual.  Just in case you aren't privy to these individuals you can research by watching them on television, their portrayal on screen.  Call it what you want, but it's reality somewhere.  If you take offense, then you just don't know, but; you better ask somebody.

Enough!  I'm talking about HETEROsexuals?!?!!! I just can't!! Gossipy! Loving to tell what they done seen or heard! Starting conversations with, "she said, he said, he did, she did"! Coming into your office or work-space to find out what the next person said or thinks of them!!  Holding the phone for hours discussing and "getting down to the facts".  At first I was thinking; maybe it's due to the rise of the single mother homes, or possibly the lack of positive affluent male figures.  All of this is or could be up for debate, but now, as I actually write this blog; I've answered my own earlier question...I think it's just me! My misconception of what a man is and/or does!
Don't get me wrong, as I said earlier; I have never or will I ever think it's the place of a woman, let alone lil' old me, to train a man how to be a man and vice versa! Do I agree that a child, boy or girl; that a human-being, male or female needs BOTH positive genders-roles in their life in order to be a well-rounded individual?! ABSOLUTELY!! It doesn't matter if it's the mail man or grocery store clerk...We ALL need positive influences in our lives. Agree or disagree, but that's my stand and I'm sticking to it! So, I just think I've been mislead by the men whom were in my life!  I always thought of the male species as...just something else.  I suppose everyone has a time when they must vent, or express a certain type of feeling.  However, I think in general, and for BOTH genders cattiness is gross and uncomfortable, especially to the person that is exposed to it.

Contrary to popular belief a man can be just as catty, gossipy, or talkative as any (supposed) woman!!!! They (men) LOVE to talk about something they've seen or something they've heard!! Tell them that they're this way and they'll swear up and down that they aren't, but WE know that they in fact: ARE!  It's annoying, and it's surrounding me! I do have some male friends and my closest female friends (whom I love)to rid myself of all of that!!  We (thankfully) prefer to speak of more productive things! Anyone can get sucked into a he say, she say conversation at some point in their life.  No one is inaccessible...but what do we do when it approaches us?  Do we soak it up like a sponge, inject our self into the conversation to, "add our two-cent," or try and remove ourselves from the situation?  That's where REAL and TRUE character comes into play...
...I'll just keep on living....but, it does make me go hmmmmm...

Live Life: A Khrystian Tidbit!

I'm almost positive I've had this conversation before via blog, however; it is a constant premise or, I should say theme, that people whom surround me practice.
No good can come from placing stipulations and harsh rules or regulations on your life.  From the foods you eat, the company you keep, the places you travel or visit, to the career you have or even your every day health!  Let me be absolutely crystal clear with this next statement:  "SET REACHABLE GOALS AND ENJOY LIFE!"  This is a Khrystian tidbit, at best!
Now, I'll break it down even more...some of us go to the extreme and cut off things that we enjoy cold turkey.  Unless your very God-given life depends on it; why do that?!  Here's where "reachable" comes into effect.  If you want to stop eating a particular food, knowing that you enjoy it and in the past have eaten it every day; start off small.  Cut back.  Don't remove it totally.  If you know your weight (over or under) is out of control; begin a slow to moderate work-out plan to alleviate and reduce the risk of shock or immediate pain! 
Point blank period.  Without going through a minial list of examples, I think the key is not being so rigid with the goals you set.  It will cause you to lose control or site of what you're truly trying to accomplish.  It also could cause you to fall off the mark, and most often FAIL!  And who really wants to fail?!
NO ONE!!
So, I urge you to set reachable goals that are realistic, doable and that in the long run will make you HAPPY with your outcome.
~Happy Living

New Housewife on the Block

It seems NeNe Leakes will have yet another ally on the upcoming season of ATL Housewives.  Marlo Hampton, the fiance of NFL player Charles Grant, will be the newest addition to the franchise.  Marlo does in fact have a wrap sheet based on battery charges, violating probation and writing hot (bad) checks!  A twist that I'm almost certain Bravo intended to "pop off" is the fact that Marlo's fiance, Charles Grant, was rumored to be NeNe Leakes love interest at one point of time.  Primarily when they hosted a party together.  Anywho, based on their communication, via Twitter, those rumors are far from them, as they hang out, drink together and enjoy each others company, sometimes along with NeNe's other BFF, Cynthia Bailey.
Here she is pictured below with Charles Grant.

 

What's your highest bid?

4 hours and 63 chapters later I completed Victoria Christopher Murray's novel, The Deal, The Dance and The Devil.  A modern day Indecent Proposal.  It begs the question, "How far would you go for your mate with 5 million dollars at stake?"  Could you actually see yourself saying adios to your mate for a weekend to receive 5 million dollars at the end of that time?  When the book was first proposed to our book club, one of the ladies (the one that's married) said, "Hell yeah."  Many others confessed, "if just for a weekend, I think I could do it." others said, "take your ass on! 5 million dollars?  Yep."  Me?  I know I couldn't.  Now I am prepared to say one of my favorite sayings; "desperate times call for desperate measures"  however, I know myself!  I couldn't, wouldn't and.... it just ain't going down! 
Also, my husband (cuz let's assume in a perfect world that's the only other person it would be) I would hope (fingers crossed) wouldn't want or even consider it either.  But hey, again; you NEVER can say NEVER and that's exactly what was apart of the story as the plot thickened.  I won't give away too much more.  I'll stick to my opinions because some of the members of the book club have not finished reading and I don't want to be a spoiler for them...next month we'll discuss the actual book.
For now, I want to touch on a few common themes about life:
1. Men always think they can handle the devious schemes of a woman scorned on their own.
-I'm here to tell you boo-boo; you can NOT!  Point blank period.  Women are something else, take it from me...I'm a woman.  Ask any woman and she'll tell you; a woman scorned is desperate, miserable and will do anything she can to make you and your life as miserable as hers.  Most men try and "handle" the situation on their own.  Thinking, it'll go away or that the chick will "get over it".  Well...it won't and SHE won't!  It's almost laughable, but then again it's not. Many men also think, "hey I have sisters", or "I have a lot of female friends", or they're even naive enough to say, "I been around long enough to know these women"  POOR THINGS!  You really DON'T get it!!
So; place that big ol' ego to the side...in fact...CHECK it and be open and HONEST about whatever it is you and the said woman have going on, did have going on, will have going on and in front of witnesses (particularly the person you have something to prove a point to) because I'm telling you if you don't....an entire different story than what is actually going on will conceive in her "mind" and give birth to disaster to follow!
2. Once temptation, suspicion or distrust are introduced into your "loving" relationship...anything goes. 
-I must break these three down...not for you, for me!
Temptation- If you need to cheat, please retreat (inspired from the rhyming style of the late-Johnny Cochran)  Being tempted is one thing, but acting on that temptation is the devil's playground, because you don't ever "get away" with it.  Someone knows, someone will get mad, and the "love of your life" will find out....then comes...
Suspicion- Now no matter how many I'm sorry's you've said it doesn't mean a thing.  Apologizes are like using whiteout, it covers up the mistake but it's never totally away. Now, when you, "have to make a run" (according to the book) it's like to where? what the hell is a run?  When you don't answer your cell phone...it's like; "what the hell are you doing?"  "why couldn't you answer?"  You start hearing things like, "You never did this or that before" "Where did you get this or that?"  It brings about unnecessary insecurities that no one should have to endure because of your stupidity.  Giving up something special for a second!
Distrust- My mom always says, "Your word is your bond."  So no matter what happens, from the moment trust is gone...it's almost like trying to pick up the pieces to a broken mirror and put them back  together...you're bound to get cut.
3. The devil's job is to kill, steal and destroy
- Not necessarily your physical life, which I learned a long time ago thanks to Ambassadors for Christ Ministries, but the life you know of here on earth.  Kill your dreams, steal your joy, and destroy your destiny or goals or faith.  It's rough out here.  Life, I mean.  You have to be ready.  The lion crouches at your door, and the devil works through any and everybody.  Stay prayed up and in good courage with the Lord.  That's all I can say about that.
4. Stick to your moral values
-There's plenty in this world to get you off track.  But stick to what you know.  What you believe.  What you honor.  Don't stray.  In some instances it's easier said than done...but work at fighting the flesh...and you nor I are alone.  We just have to get'er done :-)
Good luck and God Bless in knowing your worth and understanding that some things just aren't worth piece of mind!
XOXO, Khrystian Nichole
P.S Read the book and let me know your thoughts...let's discuss next month!

American Black Film Festival 2011

It's no big secret that South Beach, Miami is one of my absolute favorite beaches...granted it's not like I've been around the world and I, I, I, I (okay, just alittle homage to my childhood via Lisa Stansfield) LOL!  Anywho, when I made a conscience decision to stop sitting on my (for lack of a better words) ass and get back in and around the field I graduated in (radio/television/film) I decided to start investigating and researching ways to network...you know get my feet wet.  Ways for me to stop procrastinating on each and every minor and major dream I have.  (Funny how God works)  When I began researching things just kind of started happening!  ....Stay tuned...
One thing I knew, was that I wanted to get around and network with individuals within the field of radio and television.  YES, I'm apart of different organizations...but to be apart and being involved are two totally different things. So now...it's time to get involved!
I found out back in February the American Black Film Festival 2011 was to held in Miami (South Beach) in July!  Talk about Christmas in July!!!!!  Of course I jumped on it.  However, because it was my first time and (always skeptical) I wasn't so sure of how legit the event was.  I mean, I never knew anyone that went.  So I was ever so careful of exactly what I paid for "online".  Call me old fashioned, out-dated, whatever...I STILL like to have a REAL voice and "REAL" people to speak with and deal with.  (sign of the time)
When I got there; all my inhibitions were eluded and I discovered (through following many on Twitter) just how legit, professional, exciting and inspiring the week beginning on Wednesday and lasting through Sunday would be!
Let me preface this week by saying, "I know nothing about networking.  I am totally shy."  Some will vehemently disagree, but you are hearing it from the horses mouth..."I AM SHY!"  I do many things out of necessity and alas, I have many opportunities that come my way...THANK GOD!  I am working on this, and going to a film festival in Miami ALONE speaks volumes.  Don't you think?!  Well...I do!!
I'll also say, next year will be absolutely different.  I will purchase whatever and however.  This year, because of my skepticism; I only purchased things on-site but it was definitely well worth it! 
My focus was not on the hoopla of seeing John Singleton walking behind me in the Ritz Carlton, or partying with Bill Duke and Keenan Ivory Wayans at Club Play and Liv, sitting poolside with Melyssa Ford and Jalen Rose, and I certainly wasn't phased by THE Don King coming over to me, with his light-up cane telling me, "You are beautiful!" and walking through with his entourage...NO!  I especially kept focus with ALL the gorgeous (and, er...not so gorgeous) folk offering to buy, escort, or just plain old enjoy the sights.  I was GOOD!  I came there for one thing, and one thing only.  To learn!  To find out! 
I took Robert Townsend's Ultimate Pitch class where we learned:
*Hollywood doesn't invest in characters, they invest in REAL people.
*Time is money
*You only get the pitch to make the deal
*Give birth to your ideas and produce.  Stop holding them!
I sat in on a conversation with Paula Patton where I found out:
*Perfect your craft daily
*True love is real and good (as she's been with here husband since they were 14 and 15)
*Be honest with your self about what it is you really want to do AND are good at
*You're never too late to Just Do It
I went to a panel discussion about the Business of Reality TV where I was schooled that:
*You don't make money from an idea! (light bulb moment)
*Figure out a filter or brand
*Pitch meetings to station developers
*Produce something...that's where the money is NOT the idea
*There are four things stations are looking for
*Expand your vision
I met attorneys, writers, film makers, talent, directors, camera men, casting directors, show runners, producers, production assistants, every position you could imagine...ALL hungry.  ALL with the same goal in mind.  ALL there to network.  ALL there to be somebody.  ALL grinding. 
It was an experience to say the least, and I'm exhausted, but I'm invigorated!  Inspired and brought down to reality!  Needless to say, I'll be back ready for sun up to sun down excitement and networking!  I made lots of "friends"!  Just like Robert Townsend said, "You don't need to seek out the Robert Townsends, Spike Lees and Keenan Ivory Wayans' to make "it" happen...there is wealth of knowledge and talent all around just use it!  Work together and make your movie!  I got about ten things on my plate!"  He is absolutely right!
Cheers to me for "opening up" and stepping outside the box!
XOXO

Daddy by Default

...ok!!!  Oh...KAY!! So, I didn't read the book at the time of our book club meeting.  I had been busy, forgot the title of the book, and quite frankly just was preoccupied and too consumed with life! By the time I realized the book club meeting was the next day, it seemed as if an eternity had passed since I got some almost devastating (to me) and life-changing news...so really; I wasn't in the mood to "read" fiction, when I had a real-life drama series I was documenting!  I, however; did want to meet the author.  I wanted to pick her brain and find out what I needed to do to become a published author.  I figured I had better do something...and quick, in order to be "up-to-speed" with any conversation we would have at the book club meeting.  So I did what any self-righteous, always wanting to be in control, avid reader would do...I fibbed!  Just a little!  I pretended I read the book and nodded whenever necessary. (le sigh)
I backtracked and raced through any email with happy hour book club as the title and vigorously read through each line hunting for the title and author of the book.  When I couldn't find it; I figured I'd have to fess up and ask one of the members the title.  I couldn't ask my one friend that invited me into the club...cuz I surely as I type this blog; I wouldn't have heard the end of it. All in love, but honestly the same.  So I did the next best thing and asked host of the month's book, if she had a copy, what was the title, and author.  I figured it's after 8:40pm on a Saturday...even if I couldn't get the book right away I still could be safe with at least a good five hours time to read the book as the meeting didn't start until 4pm the next day.  OR; I could purchase the book from iBooks and read it that night.  Alas!  Dummy (I had this conversation with myself)  What good would it be to have the virtual book, with the author sitting right there?  You DO want pictures and an autograph...so I scratched that idea and decided, I just need to get to the book store and buy the book in the morning, therefore; leaving 5 hours reading time!  When I called to get a copy of the book on hold from the local bookstores...I felt like I was in a Scooby Doo mystery because NO ONE HAD IT IN STOCK!  I got alittle knot in my stomach and then frantically searched for the author, Pat Tucker, on Twitter.  I found  her and left her a direct reply asking if she was planning to bring copies of her book for purchase to the meeting....no reply.  It wasn't until I met her; I found out that isn't the Twitter page she uses!
I was toast, because as you can imagine if you've kept up with me through my blogs...I'm a little bit of a control freak...mostly a procrastinator but most definitely impatient (pray for me...I'm working on all of the above and then SOME)
I digress...
I went ahead and got a jump start on the first chapter or so by way of iBooks free sample...I figured; at least I'd know the characters names during the discussion. 
Holy BeeJeeZus!!
Daddy by Default is the title....I began to read.  Some things seemed all TOO surreal AND strangely familiar! 
Maybe I should catch you up to speed here:  I WRITE....and by write, yes; I mean this blog.  However, I also mean poems, short stories, reviews, newsletters, one-liners, pages, chapters, novels (gasp)
At this point, with this book so involuntarily telling a familiar story...I shut down the iBook app.  I couldn't read this!  I was writing this story.  Well not THIS story.  No two stories are alike, but; the same premise.  Paternity!  Is he the father or ain't he the father?!  The question that haunts promiscuity!
You know how they say you can be oblivious to situations around you UNTIL they directly face you...whether advertently or inadvertently!  WOW!  It's true!
Upon whispering with one of my other friends during the meeting; I explained to her my ultimate concerns of reading the book, my work in progress, my goal, etc. and she encouraged me to read it.  "Many books are of the same topic, but your story will be a totally different point of view. It's YOUR story.  And when you're done, it can be our next book of the month"  *See that's why it's great to have friends.  (because yes, I'm cynical...friends?! humph...you just never know)*
With that, I went purchased the book from Pat Tucker and when the book club ended, and much later that night after I stopped and met some friends out for a little drinking and dancing; I read the book.

The wonderful thing was, Daddy by Default took an entirely different approach than my work in progress.  I read it as really showcasing the "business" behind pinning a man to a kid that's not his.  The devious, deceptive mind of  both a woman scorned and a woman all about her hustle.  I appreciated both; because I never knew or would fathom here in my lil' bubble anybody doing that...living that way.  Sure I've heard of and even seen accounts of government scams, beating the system and so on and so forth; but it's really interesting the immediate and ultimate lengths that people go through.  Especially through the voice, eyes or imagination of someone else.  I enjoyed the book, the author, and I'm looking forward to her sequel!  She even, whether she knew it or not, passed on a few helpful nuggets for this procrastinator to, "Get it together."

...And actually writing this blog and placing it out there that I do, in fact have works in progress, basically forces me to get on the ball.  Stepping on faith...
XOXO,
Khrystian Nichole

Beauty Pet-Peeves

Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder!  Here are a few of my beauty pet-peeves, inspired by a question provided on twitter!  BTW...follow me @DivaSexyCool08

1. Less is Best
-----Caked on make-up, overly done up hair, let's face it...too much of anything can never be good.  I'm all for glam and glitz and even over-the-top fashion, but there is a time and a place for it.  Maybe I'll blog helpful hints for time and place later!
2. Dirty Finger nails!!!! 
-----That is just Gross!!  It shows you clearly do NOT wash your hands...which speaks volumes about your character!  *True Story* I got up from the chair at a nail salon because the lady about to do my nails had dirty finger (natural) nails...Hold On Playa- where you going with those dirty finger nails?!
3. Bad Weave
-----If I can see your tracks, so can you! STOP IT NOW!
4 Lace fronts
-----Ain't nothing wrong with it far away!  And some people will actually be enhanced by the right lace front job...however; have you looked in a mirror?!  Cause that's NOT what's up!
5. Ashy anything
-----This makes me laugh, because (honesty time) I will only lotion the part of my body that I think will be visible, so if something happens where some other portion of my body that I did NOT lotion is showing I'm screwed and utterly embarrassed!  LOL!  Happens often enough, I'll just say that!  Ashy, crusty feet...eeewwwwww!
6. False eye lashes
-----The ones that look fake...beauty is supposed to be an ENHANCER, and most times beauty is a SECRET; that's where beauty secrets come from!  So, my question is: How do you go out of the house with caked on glue over your eyes?  Better yet; how can you see through that glue...your eyes seemed weighed down?
7. Matted hair
-----Especially on your face!  Gross!
8. Ghost-like make-up
-----If your face is five times lighter that the rest of your body...I ask again; DO YOU HAVE A MIRROR AT HOME OR A FRIEND IN THE WORLD?
9.  Dirty earlobes
-----Every time you wash your face, or shower and bathe; you should be cleaning your ears.
10. Chapped Lips

My Love Affair

Okay, as you know I divorced my beloved Celtics when they picked up Shaq's whack a--...okay, sorry; this a family blog! (insert wink here) I skirted my way on over to Miami with Wade, Bosh and James.  For the record, I'm only truly a fan of Wade, but whatever I had to pick my poison...so I went with Miami! 

I was okay all season!  I could wink my team to a victories because Shaq's big goofy a--- oops (smile) sorry I forgot again, but Him...he was out hurt or something!  But NOW that the playoffs have begun, go-figure, of course both of the teams are playing against each other.  I'm constantly in that awkward moment when you introduce the ex, you're still in love with, to the new booski you're trying madly to like so that the feeling you have for your ex NEVER surfaces!  

HELP!!!! Man Down!!

Oh and I didn't forget that the LAKERS got that a---I really got to do better...but they DID get swept under the rug! (blows kiss here)

 

Mer’chere…NOT for me!

Upon many attempts (in my mind) to go to this visually impressive (on the website) fairly new spot in the Pearland Town Center; I informed my mom I wanted to take her to brunch for Mother’s Day to a spot of her choice. She decided upon, Mer’Cheri. I was pleased and excited to go to this martini bar and ecstatic that she’d invited my Ganny to join us! Onward bound as we drive the 23 minutes (according to my GPS) to get there in excitement!

 As we get there, it’s PERFECT…perfect location, perfect parking spot, perfect attitudes!!! We walk in, and I’m surprised to find it’s a black establishment. Not that it matters, but it always make me smile on the inside to be able to support black establishments! I encourage it! Any who; the ambiance was okay, aside from the lights out above the bar, it looked indeed just like the barren photo advertisement.  I do think they should decide what crowd they'd like to market to.  I thought, based on the ads that it was a jazzy, sexy, martini bar and grill.  However the volume of the televisions tuned into the absurd (only because they were swept) Laker game, left me feeling as if they may have wanted to be a sports bar serving buckets of beer and peanuts. 

Service was mediocre. Nothing overwhelmingly profound or fun or even attractive.  I found that when we informed the waitress it was our first visit, that sentiment didn’t resonate with her too well! Ordinarily when you go to a restaurant and you’re a first-timer, they will usually give you time to mull over the menu, even offering helpful suggestions and in some instances, they’re personal favorites. At least, that’s what I’m used to!


Not so here, she simply replied by saying, “Oh really. Do you know what you want to drink?” Umm, seriously, I don’t even know what you have to offer, you haven’t shown us a “drink menu” at a martini bar, mind you; and…how about you get us some water for starters (even if we NEVER drink it) so that we have time to peruse the menu and scan our surroundings?  Suffice to say; the water NEVER came or was offered.

 We say no and she’s off! After asking for the drink menu, we take a look at the many, many, many…did I say many different flavored martinis we have to choose from?  I like that!  We're at a martini bar...we should have a plethora to choose from, and we DID!  Everything you could imagine, including a snicker-tini!  LOL!  I Loved that!  I've been to so-called martini bars that only offer 5 choices, and out of the five...you'll order three, and out of the three you order, you'll like one!  Not even LOVE!  Just put up with...like a mother-in-law you can't stand to come and visit.  You feel me?  We pick: Chocolate, Lemon and Tropi-tini’s!


After about 20 minutes the drinks arrive. No napkin underneath for me just a red drizzle all over the table, my menu and me! Did I mention the crowd? The crowd (on Mother’s Day, lest we forget) included myself, ganny, and my mommy, a couple at the bar, two additional men at the bar and then later another pair of girlfriends came in. (More on them later!)


The Drinks! (They need their own paragraph, cause let’s face it; it’s a martini bar!)


…let’s just say, my tropi-tini tasted like chilled Hawaiian punch garnished with an orange. The lemon drop, my mom’s absolute favorite…lemon kool-aide that has about a cup of sugar sitting at the bottom even after you’re drinking the too-sweet nectar. Can someone say liquid diabetes? My ganny said she liked her drink…buuuuuuut, umm; she ALWAYS compliments something…well most times! LOL!  I did love the added chocolate shavings on top of the drink...I thought that was an awesome added effect.  Took my mind away from the lack of alcohol presence for about zero point two seconds!


Next we begin to order the food. We wanted to try stuff, you know; since it’s our first time so we got a plethora of not-so-good food. The crab-cake was as small as a 3 year olds entire fist and just as flat. It tasted frozen, like some concoction you’d buy from Sam’s Warehouse in bulk! The gumbo reeked of butter-based rue and the etouffee…well, and believe me when I say I’m not exaggerating but; it tasted like spaghetti-oh’s…SERIOUSLY!


I became vastly disappointed at this point. A few people I know, namely my daddy probably would’ve been looking for the door or the manager (and dare I shudder to say, the owner was there) to tell them how to run their establishment and that they needed a new cook!


When we got the main dishes, I was okay with mine, however, I will say again that the cook LOVES butter. My seafood Alfredo swam in a pool of butter and every time I took a bite into my garlic bread, I drank butter! Horrid description, but it’s nothing but the truth.com! Now, as our drinks sat there (and if you know me, you ought to know that’s unimaginable) however, they did…another waitress comes over bearing a drink that she proclaims is my Tropi-tini! With a mouth full of butter I’m like, “Really?! Then what in the world have I been drinking?” She says, “You ordered the tropi-tini right.” I say, “Yes.” Albeit 45 minutes later than the previous 20 minute wait, she sits it down and takes the other drink. As she takes the other drink, I’m sitting bewildered as to the appearance of this drink looks nothing tropical. The other drink did. Before I take a sip however, I see the young lady walk over to the table perpendicular to us, and before she even gets to the table the lady offers, “I know you’re not about to give me that drink (referring to the one I had my lips all over) In the lady’s defense, it did seem as if the waitress was about to do that, by the way she quickly exchanged one drink for the other and she kept going from our table to this girlfriend pair table seemingly confused! I just sort of chuckled to myself, took a sip of the drink and realized it was mos def NOT anything tropical in that glass but the garnish of cherry. I quickly told her, got my original drink back and then heard the two women confirm to the waitress, “You know we were here when you guys first opened and the service was terrible, we’ve come back to find nothing has changed I see.” Ouch! I was shocked. Oh well. We finished what we could muster down (we hadn’t eaten anything else in anticipation) left the last of our drinks in the glasses, paid our tab and graciously left!


My ganny said, "Well at least we got to experience something New!"  She's so sweet.  Got to love her!  I really want to see Mer’chere succeed and do well! It really is a potentially great place, with a lovely atmosphere and super fun location! Hopefully, if I return it’ll be better…maybe I’ll eat before I go, take my flask and go in there on a Wednesday night for their open-mic night. It may be a better experience! I'm really rooting for the home team!


What you think?!

XOXO, Khrystian Nichole

Open Letter to the Guys!

Hello Gentlemen!  I have just a few things to say to you all; mostly addressing the way you approach, come at and respond to the opposite sex!  I don't know who's writing the "new book" but you need to take it, burn it and whoop the guys' ass that wrote it!

Using a different adjective and pronoun with every sentence you say to a female borders on gross.  Most times a simple, single "Good morning" will do!  Please lose the; "Good morning sexy lady", Good evening pretty dove, " I could go on, but it turns my stomach (Yuck!)  This especially rings true when it's not your woman!  That's different; you and her may have that type of relationship with one another.  I'm talking about random women you encounter and you have the audacity to double adjective/pronoun her!

Continue chivalry!  It ain't dead!  Yes, I realize there are these "new breed independent" women in the world that can make it difficult.  But, I must say; you will lose your "man-hood" each time...take for instance you stop doing the supposed "man-things" in the relationship and stop being a leader; you'll have a serious problem when you're "man-hood" is checked, questioned or demeaned.  Stop setting your self up for failure!  Discuss roles and the lane each of you will stay in.  It saves time, embarrassment and uncomfortable situations!

Stop handing out these business cards.  If you're about business...be about it business and stop mixing it with pleasure.  Unless the lady asks for your card; she just may NOT use it!  Again, setting yourself up for failure!  If she's like me; she'll either place the card on the table, not even looking at it, or she'll give it back to you and tell you to put it away! Just saying!

Just because someone makes eye contact with you; it does NOT automatically means she's interested in you!  Enough said!

Ummmm...some conversations are intimate, personal and are better left for when you know the lady alittle bit better!  If you didn't meet her in THAT particular type of setting...where anything goes..IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE!  Er...I'll just leave it at that!

Be Deliberate and crystal CLEAR about your intentions!  I believe it's called, "keeping it 100", per my dear friend!  Toys are for kids...so NO woman deserves to be "toyed" with!  And as I most often times tell my single eligible bachelor friends; "More often than not a woman wants the EXACT same thing you want."  Just be upfront and if she can deal with your bottom line; she ain't going no where!!  Honesty is Sexy!  And heck, if she can't handle it...you don't want her.  You need someone strong and deliberate just like you!

I'm sure I'll give more at a later date...however, I'm done now...Good day!
XOXO

The Rude of You!

Everyone handles pain, sadness, guilt; shoot, even joy and excitement differently!  On occasion, when someone is emotional or feeling hurt, they can easily become irrational and say things that shouldn't be taken personally, or; at least that's what you'd hope! Imagine anytime emotional pain is involved: take death, break-ups or any other type of ill-prepared loss. For the sake of this blog; I'll take break-ups for $500, please, Alex!
Many times it won't come as a surprise if your significant other acts like a 5th grader and says vindictive, undeniably rude, irrational or downright mean things to you. Supposedly, they don’t really mean it. They're simply hurt and desiring attention from you. I think it's what we'd all agree as a moment of desperation! I don't think it even matters to them if they get a positive, negative or indifferent reaction, so long as they can conjure up Something!
Maybe you're a "Judgmental Judy" and think what I just wrote was the MOST absurd thing you've ever heard of....you don't think it happens or "you've" (and I do mean, JUST YOU) experienced it before.  Let's then take death- one of the most difficult times for many people of the world of all races, ethnicity's and backgrounds to handle.  It's a time when old war wounds, and intense emotions can take and sometimes break down families and pull them apart.  No matter the root of resentment or contempt it can often times cause dissension, friction and skeletons to fall from places you never could've imagined! 

Still looking at "Judy" in the mirror eh?!  Then let's take the loss of a job or any major source of income!  Think of this here recession America has been going through.  Sometimes, out of sheer frustration, a person will say something irrational and plain rude to someone else in an effort to get their point across!  Even in the ding dang on starbucks line (at least I guess...hey, it could happen!)If you still can't relate, just go crawl back under the rock you came from LOL!  But seriously!

I don't know how many of you have been the observer or offender, but I do know, I was taught, or possibly learned it along the way of this thing called life- after some trial and error of course- to be careful of what I let depart from MY mouth! I learned through the Word that there's power of life and death within these tongues and whatsoever a man speaketh (?) well you know the rest! Anywho, I supremely try and think before I speak! Okay, okay, I've slipped on that more times than I'd care to bring up BUT, I will say; I DO usually mean exactly what I say, and hardly ever; if not haven't, ever went back on what I've said!  I've been both blessed and cursed with the Gift of Gab!  I'm blunt!  Unappolegetically straightforward!  I say what I mean and I mean what I say...thank you Dr. Seuss!
Yes, yes, yes I know sometimes we all have said things in the heat of an argument that you may have felt, later on, was below the belt, however; it takes practice not to renege on statements that fly from your mouth! I'm just saying; it saves you on ALL that apologizing! Which, by the way, begins to LOSE it's value if done too often! (subject of my next blog...that's 'gon be a GOOD one too! Lol!)
Okay, I've lost sight of the original intent of this blog for a moment..and it's to urge you to ignore Them! The Offender! Don't let them rile you up! Don't give 'em what they want by reacting! Let them be rude...by THEMSELVES, in the end they'll look stupid! Or at the very come back with their tales between their legs asking for forgiveness!
Just don't give too many chances to make the same mistake twice!
Smooches

*Notes from THIS Choreographer*

Over time every artist; whether you’re a dancer, writer, musician, actor, or graphic designer develops their own personal and professional style.  As a choreographer; I teach young children to adults every dance style imaginable and my methods are the same…with a few tweeks and twerks every now and again, of course.  At this present time I’m choreographing a middle school performance of, “Guys and Dolls” and it was funny to me that during a rehearsal I recorded the kids so we could critique their performance and on my ride home I had to laugh out loud at the things I say during notes!  Notes are a theatrical term used to give all of the helpful hints, critiques and evaluations of an artist and/or scene performance.  Notes happen once the scene, song or routine has taken place (usually at the end of the show or Act) and the artist is either standing or sitting and writing whatever notes the director, musical director or choreographer has to say, so that the next time they perform they are cleaned and polished!  Here are a few of my customary notes, and or, things I might possibly shout out during a rehearsal.


1. Practice should be done on your own time!!  At rehearsal, you are performance ready!!


2. Memory!  One word….wretched!  What’s up?!  You’re acting like you’ve never learned the routine!

3. You really gave it to me!  Nice work!


4. Don’t just stand there when I’m not working with you; go over eight counts, dance, stretch, kick a leg…do sumpin’!!


5. Perfecting time!!!  Personally, my favorite part!  If you don’t know the routine by now…u WILL when I get through!

6. Give me some spice please!  Make it caliente!


7. There you go!  Give it to me!


8. Attitude and hair are your BEST props! J Work it out!


9. Never get the same note twice!  


10. You’re moving like you’re scared…don’t be scared!


XOXO