Mer’chere…NOT for me!

Upon many attempts (in my mind) to go to this visually impressive (on the website) fairly new spot in the Pearland Town Center; I informed my mom I wanted to take her to brunch for Mother’s Day to a spot of her choice. She decided upon, Mer’Cheri. I was pleased and excited to go to this martini bar and ecstatic that she’d invited my Ganny to join us! Onward bound as we drive the 23 minutes (according to my GPS) to get there in excitement!

 As we get there, it’s PERFECT…perfect location, perfect parking spot, perfect attitudes!!! We walk in, and I’m surprised to find it’s a black establishment. Not that it matters, but it always make me smile on the inside to be able to support black establishments! I encourage it! Any who; the ambiance was okay, aside from the lights out above the bar, it looked indeed just like the barren photo advertisement.  I do think they should decide what crowd they'd like to market to.  I thought, based on the ads that it was a jazzy, sexy, martini bar and grill.  However the volume of the televisions tuned into the absurd (only because they were swept) Laker game, left me feeling as if they may have wanted to be a sports bar serving buckets of beer and peanuts. 

Service was mediocre. Nothing overwhelmingly profound or fun or even attractive.  I found that when we informed the waitress it was our first visit, that sentiment didn’t resonate with her too well! Ordinarily when you go to a restaurant and you’re a first-timer, they will usually give you time to mull over the menu, even offering helpful suggestions and in some instances, they’re personal favorites. At least, that’s what I’m used to!


Not so here, she simply replied by saying, “Oh really. Do you know what you want to drink?” Umm, seriously, I don’t even know what you have to offer, you haven’t shown us a “drink menu” at a martini bar, mind you; and…how about you get us some water for starters (even if we NEVER drink it) so that we have time to peruse the menu and scan our surroundings?  Suffice to say; the water NEVER came or was offered.

 We say no and she’s off! After asking for the drink menu, we take a look at the many, many, many…did I say many different flavored martinis we have to choose from?  I like that!  We're at a martini bar...we should have a plethora to choose from, and we DID!  Everything you could imagine, including a snicker-tini!  LOL!  I Loved that!  I've been to so-called martini bars that only offer 5 choices, and out of the five...you'll order three, and out of the three you order, you'll like one!  Not even LOVE!  Just put up with...like a mother-in-law you can't stand to come and visit.  You feel me?  We pick: Chocolate, Lemon and Tropi-tini’s!


After about 20 minutes the drinks arrive. No napkin underneath for me just a red drizzle all over the table, my menu and me! Did I mention the crowd? The crowd (on Mother’s Day, lest we forget) included myself, ganny, and my mommy, a couple at the bar, two additional men at the bar and then later another pair of girlfriends came in. (More on them later!)


The Drinks! (They need their own paragraph, cause let’s face it; it’s a martini bar!)


…let’s just say, my tropi-tini tasted like chilled Hawaiian punch garnished with an orange. The lemon drop, my mom’s absolute favorite…lemon kool-aide that has about a cup of sugar sitting at the bottom even after you’re drinking the too-sweet nectar. Can someone say liquid diabetes? My ganny said she liked her drink…buuuuuuut, umm; she ALWAYS compliments something…well most times! LOL!  I did love the added chocolate shavings on top of the drink...I thought that was an awesome added effect.  Took my mind away from the lack of alcohol presence for about zero point two seconds!


Next we begin to order the food. We wanted to try stuff, you know; since it’s our first time so we got a plethora of not-so-good food. The crab-cake was as small as a 3 year olds entire fist and just as flat. It tasted frozen, like some concoction you’d buy from Sam’s Warehouse in bulk! The gumbo reeked of butter-based rue and the etouffee…well, and believe me when I say I’m not exaggerating but; it tasted like spaghetti-oh’s…SERIOUSLY!


I became vastly disappointed at this point. A few people I know, namely my daddy probably would’ve been looking for the door or the manager (and dare I shudder to say, the owner was there) to tell them how to run their establishment and that they needed a new cook!


When we got the main dishes, I was okay with mine, however, I will say again that the cook LOVES butter. My seafood Alfredo swam in a pool of butter and every time I took a bite into my garlic bread, I drank butter! Horrid description, but it’s nothing but the truth.com! Now, as our drinks sat there (and if you know me, you ought to know that’s unimaginable) however, they did…another waitress comes over bearing a drink that she proclaims is my Tropi-tini! With a mouth full of butter I’m like, “Really?! Then what in the world have I been drinking?” She says, “You ordered the tropi-tini right.” I say, “Yes.” Albeit 45 minutes later than the previous 20 minute wait, she sits it down and takes the other drink. As she takes the other drink, I’m sitting bewildered as to the appearance of this drink looks nothing tropical. The other drink did. Before I take a sip however, I see the young lady walk over to the table perpendicular to us, and before she even gets to the table the lady offers, “I know you’re not about to give me that drink (referring to the one I had my lips all over) In the lady’s defense, it did seem as if the waitress was about to do that, by the way she quickly exchanged one drink for the other and she kept going from our table to this girlfriend pair table seemingly confused! I just sort of chuckled to myself, took a sip of the drink and realized it was mos def NOT anything tropical in that glass but the garnish of cherry. I quickly told her, got my original drink back and then heard the two women confirm to the waitress, “You know we were here when you guys first opened and the service was terrible, we’ve come back to find nothing has changed I see.” Ouch! I was shocked. Oh well. We finished what we could muster down (we hadn’t eaten anything else in anticipation) left the last of our drinks in the glasses, paid our tab and graciously left!


My ganny said, "Well at least we got to experience something New!"  She's so sweet.  Got to love her!  I really want to see Mer’chere succeed and do well! It really is a potentially great place, with a lovely atmosphere and super fun location! Hopefully, if I return it’ll be better…maybe I’ll eat before I go, take my flask and go in there on a Wednesday night for their open-mic night. It may be a better experience! I'm really rooting for the home team!


What you think?!

XOXO, Khrystian Nichole