Open Discussion

While talking with one of my friends; we had a discussion about finding "someone" you can look at and say, "He's definitely the one!"  Now, to be clear...I have had this type of blog before.  I personally don't know how some people can actually realize when they've found "the one".  That one you want to spend the rest of your life with and have four kids with.  The one you don't mind going through this thing we call life with.  Yeah, that one!

It just seems as if, you don't know me...you just met me!  You don't know if I have quirks that will bug you for all time.  You don't know my background, my beliefs, my religion, where I came from and where I'm going...and I certainly don't know anything about you!!  At least for a year! (There's some debate about my timeline, I know!)  But alas!

The conversation started alittle like this.  I asked her about the flavor of the week she was dating.  Mind you she's been dating him off-again and on-again for approximately 3 years.  However, trust me, the off-again far outweighs the on-again! Anywho!  She said it was going fine, she liked him (gotta stop right here...because THIS is major!)  She or I ever, hardly NEVER say we LIKE someone.  We may say, "he's cool,"  "he aight," "he'll do,"  he's really not my type,"  but we ever, hardly NEVER say we LIKE someone!  So believe me; when she said this.  I put down the phone...changed it to speaker...perched carefully in my seat...all attention on her...and listened...intently!
She went on to say; "He's seemingly an all-around great catch.  He's shown he likes me, I've shown I like him.  He's asked me a few underlying things in conversation about my future...and kind of where "our" future would lead based on what we've been talking about.  I like him...but....I just don't know if he's the one I'm supposed to be with and do I need to be more serious...or do I need to wait it out, because he just might not be, and I'll miss out on the one I'm really supposed to be with.  You know?"

Now, some of you may have been down this road before.  Some of you have on your sour judgemental puss right now.  Some of you are just shaking your head at me and my dear friend, and some of you may wish you could stop reading right now, get to typing a comment and then find out who this friend is so you can give her your very own advice!  Well I'm here to say- Stop it now.  Whatever it is good or bad, cause what's good for the goose is good for the gander.  Everyone has to go through their own life experiences and face their own truths! 

My thing is this.  She's MY friend...so I get to tell her! (sticks tongue out) and I did! 

No one is perfect.  The grass is never greener on the other side.  What you may dislike about one man...you will loathe with the next!  This in NO WAY means to settle!!  EVER!  It simple means, you have to be MATURE!  It's also imperative that you know you're breaking-point!  Everybody has their breaking-point and their list of do's and don'ts...no matter what you say.  The only thing for her to do, at this point, as to not waste more time (especially if she doesn't want him); is to decide straight-up if she enjoys spending her time with him.  Does his mere sight disgust you? Does he vex you?  Do the two of you have any deal-breakers (and for those that don't know what deal breakers are it's. 1. religious differences  2. moral differences  3. extreme social differences  4. economic differences (I'll blog in detail all about those later)  Is he abusive?Does his good outweigh his bad?  These are things to consider!  If you're just not that in to him...then move on, and keep it stepping, it doesn't matter these deal-breakers.  But, if by chance you do, and there's something there-  See what happens!

You can't live life with the should've, could've would've (s) and you definitely can't live life waiting on the next best thing...you may wind up coming up shawt! (short LOL)  Being by yourself and eventually watching "him" walk down the aisle with "her" and all you'll be able to do is cry.  (like my girl Etta James say)

I won't tell you the outcome...I'll keep it for later blog material (wink)!