Obsession versus Love

The dictionary defines an obsession as this...
obsession ob·ses·sion (əb-sěsh'ən, ŏb-)
n.
1. Compulsive preoccupation with an idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

I'm writing this blog today because many people, maybe even YOU, confuse "love" with obsession!  Maybe you've never been in love, or maybe you've been in past abusive relationships (family, friend, spouse) that now you don't really know what love is supposed to feel like, or maybe you think you've found your soul mate and this particular relationship is heaven-sent!  I don't know, even understand, or want to fathom the reason for said emotions and obsessions, but as always; I've googled it...done alittle research and have come up with my answer to the difference between LOVE and OBSESSION!  Follow along...

In this particular article I read it says there are four phases of an obsessive relationships progression and each one carries unique behaviors.  It's categorized on a wheel in the phases of: attraction, anxiety, destruction and obsession.  They relate these phases to a wheel, because it continually goes on and on like some sort of sick merry-go-round!

ATTRACTION PHASE:
In the article they say; this is the initial phase or beginning and can be designated by an instant and/or overwhelming attraction to another person. They say at this point the relationally dependent person becomes "hooked" on a romantic interest, usually resulting from the slightest bit of attention from the person they are attracted to.
Here are the red flags...
• An instant attraction to romantic interest, usually occurring within the first few minutes of meeting.
• An immediate urge to rush into a relationship regardless of compatibility.
• Becoming "hooked on the look" of another, focusing on the person's physical characteristics while ignoring personality differences.
• The beginnings of obsessive, controlling behaviors begin to manifest.

ANXIOUS PHASE:  also known as Phase 2
This turning point, which usually occurs after a commitment has been made between both parties.
Here are the red flags...
• Unfounded thoughts of infidelity on the part of a partner and demanding accountability for normal daily activities.
• An overwhelming fear of abandonment, including baseless thoughts of a partner walking out on the relationship in favor of another person.
• The need to constantly be in contact with a love interest via phone, email or in person.
• Strong feelings of mistrust begin to emerge, causing depression, resentment and tension.
• The continuation and escalation of obsessive, controlling behaviors.

OBSESSIVE PHASE:
Here is where it becomes unhealthy!!  It is at this point that obsessive behaviors reach a high degree and ultimately overwhelming the total relationship. At this point the person being the object of obsession begins to pull back and ultimately, severs the relationship. This phase, as said by the article, is when the obsessive begins to lose control!
Here are the red flags...
• The onset of "tunnel vision"  The obsessed can't see, think, or maintain without wanting and desiring to be with the other person.
• Neurotic, compulsive behaviors, including rapid telephone calls to love interest's place of residence or workplace.
• Unfounded accusations of "cheating" due to extreme anxiety. (especially if THEY are doing the cheating)
• "Drive-bys" around a love interest's home or place of employment, with the goal of assuring that the person is at where "he or she is supposed to be."
• Physical or electronic monitoring activities, following a love interest's whereabouts throughout the course of a day to discover daily activities.
• Extreme control tactics, including questioning a love interest's commitment to the relationship (guilt trips) with the goal of manipulating a love interest into providing more attention.

DESTRUCTIVE PHASE:
It represents the destruction of the relationship, due to obsessive behaviors, which have caused a love interest to understandably flee. For a variety of reasons they say; this is considered the most dangerous phase.
Here are the red flags...
• Overwhelming feelings of depression (feeling "empty" inside).
• A sudden loss of self-esteem, due to the collapse of the relationship.
• Extreme feelings of self-blame and at times, self-hatred.
• Anger, rage and a desire to seek revenge against a love interest for breaking off the relationship.
• Denial that the relationship has ended and attempting to "win a loved one back" by making promises to "change".
• The use of drugs, alcohol, food or sex to "medicate" the emotional pain.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself!  Just a'lil research I thought I'd share   ;) 

For more info on the subject of obsessions; do the research yourself...but if you'd like the link to the article I read...here ya go:
www.enotalone.com/article/2499.html