Marriage Gem #11 💎

You are still yourself while married. It doesn't change your fundamental core, it should only enhance your outward shine.

Notice two things-

1. You are STILL yourself. That's why it's important to be equally yoked AND have the same fundamental values. 
2. Marriage is life-long dating with the same person day in and day out. Don’t punk out and do the cowardly things.

Marriage in and of itself is definitely difficult at times. Learning each other, sometimes everyday. Growing together, sometimes in different directions. Maintaining stability while still trying to keep it mobile, then changing it up over and over so it doesn’t get stale. It’s ever changing and WORK! 

That’s why I think it’s so vital to marry your FRIEND. No! Don’t go call Johnny or Janey over and propose because you’ve been friends since grade school, or you’ve met them at work and clicked. I’m saying your significant other should be considered your friend. Because when the looks fade (guts and bellies happen), sex gets played (there’s just so many oohs and ahhs you can get), money dwindles (there can be lows), life or death occurs (inevitable)...I could go on but I won’t. You need your friend by your side. Not a superficial idea of what marriage is but a real true confidant to remain by your side to lift you up or hold you down when you feel as if you’ve lost yourself. 

You can lose yourself in building your family, a demanding career, or a humbling hobby, or some other endeavor you take on throughout life. In the 90’s it was called a homie, lover, friend. Your mate has to be an entire package. Homie= you can laugh and joke with. Poke fun at life with and not take yourself so seriously. Lover= you share true intimacy with. An intimacy that you don’t share, or haven’t shared with anyone else. The intimacy sets them apart from everyone else you’ve encountered. It’s physical, emotional, spiritual all wrapped in one! Friend= your confidant, a genuinely honest, non judgmental pairing of two people. Once you find, (or ladies) have been found hold onto those fundamentals.

Take care in that person you’ve chosen and decided to share your life with. Marriage doesn’t just begin after you jump the broom! It really transforms after the honeymoon is OVER!