Thursday, November 25, 2010

7 Habits of a Highly In-Effective CHEATER!

This list is not partial to men or to women.  It goes either way, for both genders.  It's simply a list I put together based on factual experiences, stories, tales and true life antics I've seen, heard and just down-right want to share!


7. They disappear for unexplainable time periods.
6. They can't or won't hold specific conversations with specific people in front of you.
5. They're defensive when you inquire about anything.
4. Habits change.
3. They get "new" found friends.
2. You find yourself in arguments and debates with them that have absolutely NO value.
1. YOU ALREADY KNOW
**See below for explainations**

#7-Being sleep or losing your phone are the two most prized and overused excuses for the unexplainable time periods.  You might also be familiar wuth the infamous..."I was working late!" LOL!

#6-This one is tricky.  Maybe they don't feel like talking or maybe it's rude to speak about certain things at specific times.  Leave this particular one to your discretion.  There has to be A TIME when they CAN talk and you are around.  And when they do talk and it's more so listening than talking...radar UP please, that's a Highly Effective Habit of a CHEATER!  Short answer; yes and no, mmhhmm, uh-hu...does not make a conversation! 

#5- I mean, you can't even inquire about the weather and the idiot wants to chop your head off, as if you said something wrong!  This habit also falls under Sir Isaac Newton's 3rd law of thermodynamic energy (for my fellow science buffs) They will try and transfer energy.  Good or bad they will do it!  That just also means, if they're doing wrong; they'll try and make you feel guilty.  Switch-a-roo and such and such!  And you won't even realize it until you've gained 20 pounds or your savings account is at zero... LOL!

#4- Duh!  All of a sudden they love to go OUT and watch the game instead of stay in.  They love to shop for new lingerie peices!  They have "new" resturants, fragrances, meals and "tricks" up their sleeve they want to share with you or maybe not share...just tell you about it!

#3- Low and behold, there's this "new" friend they spend time with.  They have "new" things to talk about and "new" work to get done.  "New" interests and "new" information.  There ain't no such thang as "NEW".  Take it from me!

#2- Jokes, fun and games are a thing of the past; as you find yourself arguing, fussing and fighting over the smallest details.  A discussion about which resturant to go to turns into an all-out war and the next thing you know (surprise) you sitting at home eating a happy meal with no damn cheese, still hungry, but too mad to get more food...and where are they?! OUT!  (cuz y'all "upset" with each other)

#1- Please!  Let's stop pretending we don't already know when the relationship has gone down hill!  Or when a roving eye has changed the game!  You already know!  You didn't need me to put up the 7 Highly Effective Habits of a CHEATER.  It's already known by you!  Besides...the cheater is the only FOOL that truly believes they are getting away with something!  It always comes back to bite them in the arse (as my Uncles say!)

Love ya! 
Happy Loving somebody that loves you back!  There's HOPE!

Credits must be paid to the following:
Two Can Play That Game
I Think I Love My Wife
Martin Lawrence You So Crazy
He's Just Not That Into You
Family and Friends for your never-ending stories
Muah (myself) for my keen common sense that God gave me and my parents nurtured!

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