RULE of THUMB!

My major rule of thumb for long-term dating is simple: "Don't expect something from your mate that you're not used to giving yourself originally"! Basically, ladies and gentlemen; stop expecting, asking, thinking, giving wish lists and barking demands!!! And most definetly stop allowing outsiders to tell you their should of, could of, would of's. Seriously! I talk about this often, I talk about it with almost every friend I have; at least the ones that ask :) If you don't already travel, or fine dine, or buy yourself nice things; how in the world do you expect them to provide these things? It's the age-old teaching-"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!" So many of us are looking for Mr. and Mrs. Perfect that we're not even preparing ourselves to be that which we desire. (A blog on that topic later.) We're wanting a fairy tale, but are unwilling to put in any work. I'm speaking specifically to my ladies now. Let's face it-I'm a woman and that is my major audience for the purposes of my personal blog. Think of it! How many times have you said I want an intellectual mate. A God-fearing mate. A mate with a sizeable income, enough to where; if I don't want to work, I don't have to work. What about good in bed? Have a good relationship with his family, particularily his momma. Even the smaller, less demanding pre-requisites-like: I want him to be charming, funny, honest, generous, and love me for me. These are ALL awesome qualities to want in a mate, don't ever think I'm saying they're not. However, what I am saying is to prepare yourself. Be reasonable. If you don't have any money in your savings; living check to check. How dare you ask for some Knight in shining armour? If your idea of heavy reading, is reading Vogue monthly; yet, you want a man to hold a profound conversation with you. Think again! If you go to the local beauty shop or purse "party" or Harwin just to get the hottest knock-off Gucci bag; how could you possibly insuate that this guy needs to get you the "baddest" designer bag or take you on a shopping spree!?! You want a spirtual man, yet the only time you set foot in a church house is for a funeral and possibly a wedding, if you're in it. You demand he be the one that "invented sex" yet you're a prude and wouldn't find out what it took to please a man if it cost you .50 cent. Is it absolutely possible for you to demand a guy have his stuff (and you know that's not the word we use) together, when you don't? This is not a female bashing blog, or man for that matter. I'm simply stating the obvious rule of thumb. Expect nothing less than YOUR best. Whatever it is you desire in a mate; make sure it's a mirror of you. We are designed to be help mates. Not these anchors holding anybody down. Don't expect anything from a man that wants to date you and potentially marry you except his RESPECT! If he gives you that-he'll pay attention to the way you treat yourself. The things and people you like. The way your family and friends respond and treat you. He'll want to match and even do better than that! If you treat yourself well. He'll know you're not easily impressed by him opening the car door or picking up a check! Shoot...if he asked you out, he's supposed to do those things. He'll understand that he can't buy you any old hallmark card because what you're used to is hand-made cards. If he truly LIKES you the way he's claimed the spectacular gestures are sure to come! If you constantly have to remind him the "type" of women you are, i.e -"I'm much classier than that. I like ______. I don't do ________." You're NOT living a life he can mirror! He most definitely won't try and do above and beyond what you're used to! At the same time, you should do nice and thoughtful things as well! (A blog on that later.) Become well read and well spoken. Invest. Be you! Be the Best you! Be pleasurable to be around, interesting and an overall GREAT catch! Happy Dating! Our actions speak so loudly, no one can hear what we're saying...