In my previous post, I spoke about my concern of-not jumping at a man's whim when HE decides he wants to talk or spend time with you. Many times as single women we will "jump" at the opportunity to enjoy the company of a man or go on a "date"!
Some of us get lonely, others of us just enjoy the company of our male counter-parts, a few of us would rather have someone wine and dine us, many of us do it because we'll feel like some sort of leper if we don't go on the occassional "date", and others of us just simply have nothing else to do!
Well in all of my years of being single, dating and being in relationships; I have decided to post a list of entertaining things to do and places to go when biding your time. Instead of waiting by the phone for the guy you just love to call and invite you somewhere. And instead of perverbally lying about faux plans and intentions you have for the evening; or even just not answering the phone as HE calls or responding to him, in the hopes he doesn't think you're some sort of "loser" for being home watching re-runs of The Game on a Friday night; here are a few ideas and benefits to partaking in them:
1. Movies
Take Advantage: Don't go during the PEAK "date times". Go in the early afternoon. Catch a matinee. No one is watching you, they're too busy watching the movie themselves.
Benefit: You catch up on all the movies you haven't seen. No one talks to you through the movie. You always find a good seat because matinees aren't usually packed. It's easy to catch a double or even triple feature. You don't have to worry about him complaining that you're dragging him to a "chick flick"
Time Not Thinking of Him: 90 minutes to 5 hrs depending on the amount of movies you decide.
2. Shop
Take Advantage: Put on some comfortable kicks and you're free to manuever through or peruse your favorite stores at your very own pace. Sales ladies are your bestfriends when it comes to making decisions. Purchase or just look it's up to you. Sip starbucks or a smoothie. Get a make-over. Try on that bathing suit you're to shy too try on in front of anyone or that...shhhhhhhh, no less than 3 carat diamond ring ;)
Benefit: You don't have to worry about your best bud being dressed like you at the next event. No one rushes you to leave or demands that you stay. Get great ideas on make-up, outfits, and accessories. Most fragrance and make-up counters also love to give out samples! You'll always know what you want for a gift when asked!
Time Not Thinking of Him: 30 minutes to an endless time (there is always 24 hour Walmarts)
3. Book Store
Take Advantage: Sit and lounge reading your favorite magazine or book. Bask in the solitude of your own thoughts , or just be lazy and get lost in someones else's world!
Benefit: Takes you away from the daily stresses of life. Catch up on some studying, get exposed to a new language, or learn some new information. Lots of times you'll find book clubs, poetry readings and writing seminars or classes that interest you. Expansion of vocabulary, current event topics, and OMG facts!
Time Not Thinking of Him: Approximately 3-5 solid hours (Endless if you make a purchase and go home)
4. Take a Class
Take Advantage: Yoga, dance, kick-boxing, cooking, art! The possibilities are endless! Sometimes you can find cheap classes at your local YMCA! (PLUG!!!!)For cheap dance lessons look me up: crowd_pleasers@yahoo.com
Benefit: You now have a new fun exciting hobby that takes your time and energy; and you're learning something you ENJOY! You've expanded your communication skills and now have something exciting to share with someone. Many new hang-out buddies as well that share a common interest with you.
Time Not Thinking of Him: 30minutes -1 hour
5. Workout
Take Advantage: That new year's resolution sounds pretty great here. Gyms are a great place to get motivated and healthy; especially if you go right after work or mid morning if you can. No one is worried that you're there alone they're shedding pounds and toning up just like you! They have fun classes offered at most gyms that will introduce you to others with the same goals and work-out plans as you.
Benefit: You'll feel great, look great and it'll become habitual. The next time you go out; those favorite jeans will hug your curves just right. You'll be bootylicious!
Time Not Thinking of Him: 30 min. to 2 hours
6. Cook Dinner
Take Advantage: Alltherecipes.com has some brilliant and fun recipes to try and re-create in the privacy and comfort of your own home. Watch Rachel Ray or any of the other food network television shows. While you're at the book store find a good cook book on sale. The last one I found on Creole cooking was $2.99 (NICE!!)
Benefit: When the time comes to host dinner parties, wine and cheeses or a good old-fashioned get-togethers you'll have a plethora of ideas and to die for recipes that your friends will be begging you for. Brushing up and honing in on those cooking skills aren't a bad idea either. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. You mos def don't want to do trial and error on your proposed hunny or friends for that matter ;)
Time Not Thinking of Him: 20 minutes to 2 hours
7. Visit a relative or friend
Take Advantage: Whether it's down the street, around the corner or in another state. Time spent with loved ones and people that care about you is a great idea! Use all the new information you've been seeing at the movies or reading about in those books, or cooking on that stove and again practice those communication skills!
Benefit: Catch up!! Nothing like the company of a loved one to remind you of the importance of just being you! It'll be like a mini vacation.
Time Not Thinking of Him: Endless
8. Update your page
Take Advantage: Myspace, facebook, twitter. Make it happen. Now is the perfect time to change the song, add a blog or note, go search for new friends, reconnect with old friends.
Benefit: You won't have to wait by a phone or computer for him. You'll be so busy keeping up with everyone else. Infact, don't be surprised if your online light prompts him to no doubt call, text, email, chat, tweet, or direct message you. LOL and SMDH!
Time Not Thinking of Him: 10 minutes to hours (don't go past 3 though. Your head will start hurting and you'll get hungry or cotton mouth)
Happy Solo Dating!!
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