Wedding HIGHS

Before wedding planning I'd heard from various sources that it could be stressful and high tensions, time-consuming, and exhausting. Planning for me went off without a hitch. Holding myself accountable to a budget, figuring non-negotiables that I imagined, location, food, design of dress, etc these things came quite easily and naturally for me since I'd been planning a wedding intricately in my head for a few years. Face it; I'm thirty-five! I'm NO spring chicken. I've lived life, acquired a bank account, been to a "few" weddings in my life time, watched several wedding movies i.e the wedding planner, my best friends wedding, father of the bride parts one and two, bridesmaids, maid of honor, bride wars...I mean the list could go on and on. 

Not only is my life planned out so intricately, it doesn't hurt to be the ONLY daughter of your parents and the ONLY sister to your brother. 

My end of preparation has gone off without a hitch. It's OTHER people that cause issues, doubts, delays, stresses, or tension.  I'm just keeping it real...all the way one hundred!

Here are a list of High's that have helped me maintain (sanity) throughout planning of a wedding and the process of beginning a new life with someone:

Supportive parents

A Maid of Honor that's organized and on top of you and holds you accountable to your timeline and vision

A friend to vent to that's been-there and done-that to help alleviate early frustrations and ask intricate questions to

An all-inclusive venue

A to-do list which continually evolves

A coordinator (either wedding or day of) that can take your vision, work it out, and be "the voice" of the wedding 

WIlLING participants/bridal party members

Praying family and true friends

A bank account

If you've planned a wedding recently or, if you're in the planning process comment below with your wedding HIGHS! Future brides need to know!

Ruined Moments

Most Important Decision Ever

One thing is sure when deciding marriage, or a lifelong union of any kind, to a person...make sure it's for the RIGHT reasons! 

The number one reason should be TRUST. You trust them wholeheartedly. You trust their flaws, their past mistakes, their decision-making skills...you trust their intent, their will to live, their heart. You trust their desires and commitment. 

Above all there should be LOVE, however, too many people use that word cavalierly. It's taken for granted. Because so many people don't understand love or what it actually means, and their only interpretation of love many times is a false sense of security or entitlement we've all seen on television or in movies; I decided to use the word trust. Trust is simplistic in definition that it's understandable even to  three year old. A toddler won't willingly go with anyone they don't trust. Well, the toddlers I know lol. 

Moving on. 

Don't marry someone for financial gain. Don't marry someone for pity. Don't marry someone under an ultimatum. Don't marry someone because it's the "right" thing to do. Don't marry someone because of a kid. Don't marry someone to prove a point. Don't marry someone because it's expected. Don't marry someone because everyone else is doing it. Don't marry someone because you're tired of being alone. Don't marry someone because of the way it'll look. 

Propose marriage because you want to spend your life growing and learning together. Propose marriage because you trust them with your heart. 

Accept the proposal because you're honored to share life with the person. Accept the proposal because you couldn't imagine doing this thing called life with anyone but them. 

These aren't things you think of after you've asked or accepted. They're conversations you have with yourself BEFORE making any moves. The conversations before can save you time, money, heartache, and stress. It's the most important decision you'll ever willingly make in your life so don't rush the before conversations and certainly don't skip them. 

Good luck in Love, fairytales do exist...you make your own! 

xoxo

Don't LOSE Yourself

It's easy to get lost in moments or time.  It's easy to get caught up in other people, their drama, their ways, their lifestyles.  It's easy to misinterpret who you are for what other's see you as.  Do NOT do it!  Don't LOSE yourself.  Be exceptional you at all times. 

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

"A hit dog will holler"

Of course it will! You'd holler too if you got hit.

"You want your cake and eat it too"

Well, who doesn't?! Of course when offered cake I'm going to eat it. 

"This, that, and the third"

...

I personally enjoy:

"Turn on the lights and the roaches scatter"

"Expose the devil and he will flee"

Praise Reporting

Every now and again you have to take a moment and reflect on just how good God has been to and through your life. 

It's not about the tangible but the intangible! Praise Him for all He's kept you from. He spared you! He's kept you from losing your mind when that was all you had left in this world. 

He's sheltered you from life's storms and disasterous situations. He's provided for you when your conduct and actions weren't deserving. 

God is amazing and He does amazing things in our favor. Take time to worship and praise Him! Give Him benevolent glory for forgiving your indiscretions. 

I don't want any rocks crying out in my place. I don't need the leaves to praise in my place! I'm grateful all on my own. 

xoxo, 

The WE Factor

The beautiful part about being in a meaningful and successful relationship...any relationship... is that you are not alone. Success is shared! Failure is shared! There is not an ounce of competition within the union and both win or lose TOGETHER! When congratulations are in order; it is from a place of shared growth. Where there is sorrow or pain the burden is divided and mutual. 

A relationship or partnership means less of "me" and more of "WE"! The ego has to be crushed. Ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. In a relationship there is no selfishness only selfLESSness!! <-- Please, catch that...I'm trying to help somebody today! 

The sooner you are a giver more than a taker...the sooner you are a listener rather than a speaker...the sooner you are less reactive and more proactive...the sooner you are more involved and less disassociated...the sooner you view things positively rather than negatively...the sooner you are more cautious and less wreckless....the greater you are considerate less than disrespectful...

I could go on and on but this is not a relationship course, only my blog; I'll leave it there.

A meaningful and successful relationship is beautiful. Enjoy the contributions of each other. Celebrate each other. Comfort each other. One does not function without the other. 

Happy bonding! 

xoxo