World Dyslexia Day

Friday, October 15^th, is World Dyslexia Day. Greene Elementary encouraged staff and students to wear red today to promote awareness.

I joined along with my daughter to both support and show solidarity!

Pick Up Your Feelings

Until the acoustic version of this here song; I honestly didn’t know what the heck Jazmine was saying…but Hun. Nay! I love this little song. In. Every. Version. Before I knew what the words actually said I was just gibberish singing and my little four year old would come pick up behind me to sing (in harmony) 🎶 FEELINGS! 🎶 

Resounding

This daily motivation couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! 

It’s worth a screen shot if that’s your style. 

This is current events!

I left my comfort zone of, going into 17 years, because I needed to protect my peace at all cost. I wasn’t powerless, and neither are you if you feel at odds more times than not with a person or situation. You just have to use your power for good and cash OUT! 

That power I harnessed came at a cost. A bargain price of sanity, a little bit of anxiety, an entire expense of wonder, and tokens of change called perseverance; but in the end God took the tags off my peace and showed me there was NO value more comparable than standing on his promise! As a continual reminder God has the power to override the antics of Satan. Evil will NOT win. Evil does NOT win. 

I’m just grateful no matter how frivolous I may have been in the past, how cheap I was with my peace yesterday; God still SEES my heart! He looks from on high and still sees low!! He STILL offers me discernment! A discerning spirit to watch the company I keep and the words that leave from my lips! He is TOO good! 

He is SO good that our value has already been set by Him and no one can mark you down or clearance your gifts and talents! So I publicly say:

Thank you for the power to protect my PEACE

xoxo,

Staying prayed up in this next season!

If It’s Up, Then It’s Up

I heard a song and when I heard it; the beat was catchy, the lyrics; although not particularly any way I would EVER speak, spoke to me. Her first two lines of the track’s intro referenced a woman speaking unkindly about another woman and the reason...you guessed it- because of a man finding her attractive.

My mind went to something my mother told me as I was heading off to college. She said, “Khrystian; one thing is certain: you’ve never been in mess and you haven’t been involved in any messes, but one reason a girl will dislike you or attempt to cause you harm will be behind a man! And nine times out of ten the man won’t seriously want

her or you. Y’all are too young for all of that!”

My recollection might not be verbatim but that was most definitely the gist. She was right!! I never had a “real” boyfriend until in my late 20’s, early 30’s. I did, for a fact, have enemies because of them. Inboxes galore due to social media and lots of he said, she said. But nothing would’ve prepared me for marriage! 

Everyone was quiet as church mice while we dated. He courted me heavily so we were always together, but Bay. Bey. Marriage! 

That man proposed and my inbox flooded from random faceless accounts...one had the audacity to use her real account but her approach was respectful and to clear a name she thought I’d been privy too. Little did she know; she wasn’t in my radar by not even a thousand mile radius headed east or west. Chicks racked up my number, stalking me, you name it, I just might have experienced it. I’ve never been approached or confronted negatively with any name-calling but I’ve definitely “heard” things through the dustiest grapevine imaginable just as the song mentioned.

Honestly, it’s always the insecure girl name-calling. Upset because a man she wanted, wants someone else....and my Lord...when he solidifies it, no matter how much lying he did to maintain that insecure girl. She’s hurt. But instead of taking her frustrations out on the man that misled her. Taking her anger out on the man that abused her. Taking her rage out on the man that used her. Taking her emptiness out on the man that mishandled her. Taking her bitterness out on the man that betrayed her little heart. Taking her brokenness out on the man that disregarded her. Taking her fury out on the man that discarded her...

She’d rather trash-talk the woman HE CHOSE. Cardi B has been there before like so many of us. Somebody is there right now and then there’s someone who’s headed to it. One thing I do know, two things for sure. I’m an adult and a lady. The only man I would ever physically fight behind is NOW...my son. You almost really can’t miss me with my daddy or brother but above that; I most definitely will not and ain’t (yes I said ain’t) fighting over no man! I don’t condone fighting and it’s classless.

“Once upon a time I heard that I was ugly. Came from a chick who’s man wants to (MARRY) me.” 🎶 🎵 

(I can’t bring myself to use the vulgarities of the song on my blog. Listen to the song to hear the real lyrics in full if you’d like.) Yes, we are all grown, but I’m still a laaaaaay daaaay- in my Sheneneh Jenkins voice. 

Chicken Salad: SGG Eats! Food Chronicles

I don’t know too many people that don’t like a good chicken salad. For me; it’s turned into a quick, simple lunch dish to eat (before my baby weight loss journey, on bread) with wheat crackers, or wrapped in lettuce, or simply with a fork.

My recipe is simple:

Chicken (usually canned or chopped from leftovers), mayonnaise, spicy sweet relish, purple onion, onion and garlic powders, celery seed, then mustard (I use jalapeño mustard- I love spicy food, although it doesn’t actually make it spicy just sassy!) 

I’m no executive chef but it’s good to me! 

Baby Weight

I was utterly and completely in denial about my increase in weight after my baby boy. I just KNEW I had snapped right on back to size. It didn’t help that everyone, with the exception of my core family (mom, dad, husband) was saying, “you don’t even look like you had a baby!” “Girl, you’re small!” “You look good girl!” “You ain’t never lost it!”

Now I’m not saying they were lying....but I’m saying they exaggerated....and maybe, just maybe...I was so huge before I delivered that they figured.... “dang....you lost all that baby weight fast!”

The fact of the matter was; I did lose weight but after being on quarantine and getting to a healthy level of ‘my baby is good on breast milk’ I started clowning! Literally! Just out here living reckless! Drinking margaritas everyday. If I didn’t buy them from restaurants I was making them at home and filling my large yeti-style cups with them. I drank NO, absolutely NO water....I’m surprised my milk supply is even to this day still in existence. I was eating carbs like crazy...and there’s nothing wrong with living your best life, but you all; I was out here not even exercising! I break sweats moving, er, walking around the house with the ac on.

Exercise has become an exhausting task that use to be somewhat fulfilling since I’ve always been a dancer. But when I say I would sweat profusely just from standing outside, or standing in a room full of people, or from mopping, sweeping, vacuuming!

All with that I STILL was in slight denial. Sure, I would say to myself- “get it together! You have got to exercise. Your belly still looks like a pregnant belly.” So I began vigorously saving Jeanette Jenkins videos and lobbying my 3, now 4 year old to work out with Mommy. I began to cook differently. Then ol’ satan would creep into my psyche: “What you doing all that for? You still fit your clothes! Ain’t nothing wrong with having a drink! You only get one life! You have to enjoy it!”

Y’all I was still, literally squeezing into my clothes (busting out of them) I was having to get my husband to help get me out of my own contraptions. I would yell for help and flail around the room...SWEATING...to get free! 

And if you can believe it...I STILL would run into the same patterns. Not drinking water, exercising OR eating right! It wasn’t until on vacation...that I haphazardly got onto the scale that, you know, they keep in the bathroom and it read: 180lbs 

180.

1.8.0

One. Hundred. Eighty.

Now I realize there are some of us that 180 is nothing but hear me when I say; 180 is the amount of pounds I was at 9 months carrying a 9lbs 13oz baby! 180 is not the amount of weight my 5 foot 5 inch woman POST baby body that’s trying to finagle her way into clothes, that’s clearly not made for her size should be!

It would be different if I didn’t feel bad. If I didn’t feel heavy and big or even if I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. It’s ALL about SELF confidence...SELF worth...SELF value. Trust me when I say my self esteem is not lacking....I just don’t like what I see or how I feel. I’m still fabulous, but I need to be a FITTER fabulous! A FINER fabulous! A FEEL GOOD fabulous!

So I write ALL that above to say:

I’ve begun my lifestyle journey. 

Day one I ate oatmeal for breakfast, goddess green salad for lunch, and grilled pork chop, salad and broccoli for dinner. I was hungry ALL day lol but I drank water ALL day as well. I failed at exercising on day one, but today is day two. I ate shredded wheat for breakfast, I’ll have chicken salad for lunch and we’ll see for dinner! 

But the journey has begun!!

Giving ~Generosity

Every now and again we have to be reminded that giving is intrinsic. It’s not about anyone else. Having a giving spirit is sometimes seemingly detrimental, but once you remember...or get reminded of your WHY no thing or no one can remove the motivation to give! To pour from your heart that which you desire or want for someone. 

Not all giving is monetary or even a tangible thing. 

Examples of things to give that are invaluable include but are not limited to: 

Advice

Time 

Compliments 

A listening ear

Smiles

Affection

Gratitude

Prayer

Acts 20:35 
...remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

2 Corinthians 9:11 

You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.

 

Standing in the Face of Adversity

We were shown this video during a professional development for finishing strong! I thought it was worth sharing...

 

Coming 2 America

 Now you know I had to blog about this movie. The 1988 original is one of my favorite quotable films! From Randy Watson’s “sexy chocolate” to the barber shop men, “Sweets!” “Don’t be hollering at me, hell, I thought it was the trash” to random men and small roles, “Oh my goodness! It is you” “I want to tear you apart, and your friend to zzz a o” to larger than life roles, “Somebodies been messing around!” To singing “She’s your queen to be” “To be loved, to be loved...oh ho...what a feeling to be loved!” 

That is my movie!! So naturally I was on the side of excitement when the announcement came for the sequel a full 33 years later! I’ve been watching every interview, stalking every Instagram associated with the film in the hopes of catching glimpses of behind the scenes action, along with The Who’s who of the film! 

Let’s face it: Eddie Murphy is a BIG name. He’s a movie star. He was big then, and I most definitely want to say larger now. Coming to America, if memory serves me, is his first time acting in one film with various roles! I still didn’t know he was the old Jewish man in the barbershop or even believe it until I was in my late teens. 

I digress: 

Coming 2 America, for me, gave me all the feels! Nostalgia at its finest. I absolutely loved seeing all the original players from the film. They had aged and, maybe it was this Covid reality coming to grips on me; but I was just full of pride and joy to see them! It really wouldn’t have mattered what they said. Rev. Brown, I was glad to see him! I could tell there was an air of wokeness throughout the film as they called out Rev. Brown (don’t want to give away the entire movie-I’ll replace this with the facts after about a month) LBGT, and included elements of women’s rights. 

There were corny jokes, just like the first. You either take life too seriously or you enjoyed the movie. There were silly moments and scenes just like the original...those moments and scenes will either be imitated for years to come or they’ll be forgotten and you’ll stick with the original memorable scenes. Was it rushed? Naaaaaaah. Not anymore than the original. 

Were the costumes bad? Yep! They were Micheal Jackson Bad and outstanding! Imagery outstanding! My favorite scenes may have absolutely been the flashback scenes. Kudos to the special effects and digital imagery team! 

With the thriving cast members, wardrobe, soundtrack, digital work, and locations alone this movie- not for nothing- was a great inclusion for 2021! Just what the proverbial doctor ordered and precisely the comedy relief I needed during this pandemic! So, thank you to the cast and crew. 

To those critics that didn’t like it and want to tear it apart, “Get. Get out of here. Go on. Move!”

Black History Month...and attire

 I love the month of February! 

My baby girl was born in this month 💕 

There’s Valentine’s Day ♥️ 

And if that wasn’t enough...it’s Black History Month! 

For me; I am Black History in the making BUT I enjoy the specific celebration, acknowledgement, and festivities surrounding the culture of, not only who, but where most if not all, come from! Usually church has a special recognition day set aside for African attire , my sorority meeting usually sets aside a day, my job even usually sets aside days to wear the attire and I, me...I ALWAYS forget to go and get something to wear! Go figure. So I only get to view the beautiful attire and admire the African fashions, colors and patterns. 

This year though...2021...thanks to quarantine I actually had TIME to remember the smallest details of things and then special thanks to social media; I wasn’t limited on where I could shop or find the attire! 

So here’s my celebration of Black History AND attire:

I Felt That...

It’s always great when someone else captures your thoughts and prints or posts them. That just mean you are NOT alone, you are NOT crazy, and it IS common! Sometimes it’s in the spirit of great news and positivity...other times in it’s in the spirit of judgment and negativity. Read below to see if you have heard these things or said these things:

“After having a child, I realized that in the eyes of society mothers can't:

- Complain (who told you to have kids?)

- Cry (why are you crying? Did you think it was easy?)

- Getting tired of what? (you do nothing!)

- Sleep (You're lazy!)

- Rest (you'll have plenty of time for that after they grow up) 

- Getting pregnant again (are you crazy? How many more kids do you want?)

- Quitting work (how will you support your child?)

- Work (who will take care of the child?)

- Leave them at the nursery (Don’t let others raise them!!)

- Being a housewife (Poor husband, works too hard and his wife stays at home!!)

- Being single (nobody wants a woman with children)

- Going out for fun (why are you leaving your children with their Nana to have fun?)

And you know whats worse???

90% of these phrases are spoken by other women.

Let's learn to be more supportive of each other. I'm human and I love my kids but I'm guilty  of all these emotions  at some point.”

(Repost)

Some of those things are said by women and it’s even worse when it’s said by your support system, whether man or woman. It stings just a tad bit more. But it doesn’t matter who says those things, or what part in your life they happen to play; tell them to shut the heck up! You’ve heard about enough from them. Then keep it moving because no matter how hard it gets, God NEVER places more on us than we can handle or that we desire. 

Keep going...

Why was Coca Cola Such a Big Deal to Ma?

This Sunday I spent time with my Sorors and guests enjoying an evening of The Arts! viewing playwright August Wilson’s film adaptation of Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. 

Have you seen it? A question was posed in my blog title...comment your answers.

I’ve seen it twice. The Thespian that I am has seen scenes and monologues from the play more times than I can count but it took 2020 for me to sit and watch from top to bottom the play that chronicles the 20th century African-American experience set in the Chi Town 20’s dealing with issues of race, religion, and the oh so common black exploitation of artistry and originality.

I don’t want to give anything away...check it out! 

And in an effort to not only, explore the arts by highlighting the eras of Harlem Renaissance and Black Arts Movement, my great Sorority also encouraged invited viewers to purchase a meal from a Black-owned business to indulge. 

The food tasted better than it looks 😊 Oxtails, rice and gravy, greens, candied yams and cornbread.

Mocktail: Cranberry juice, (sans orange juice) sprite, over ice splash of cherry juice 

Founders’ Day January 15, 2021

 What an unprecedented time to be alive...and well! 

My Sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha and I will be celebrating 113 years of supreme service to all mankind! A vision started in 1908 by our Founder, Ethel Hedgemen Lyle on the campus of Howard University! 

To my Sorors, 

This is an opportunity to have another FIRST in history as we embark on innovative ways to celebrate sisterhood and service! Virtual and socially distant events are our platform and it will be a fantastic opportunity to connect in ways we never have before! Embrace change and let’s enjoy our 113 year celebration! We have a sorority sister duly elected to be in the White House and we shall represent thoroughly! 

To the world, 

I, nor we, will apologize for the heightened level of excitement, enthusiasm, or ear piercing Skee Wee’s, neither will we excuse the massive amounts of the color combination pink and green you will experience tomorrow! January 15, 2021! 

We. Are. History. 

We. Are. Alpha. Kappa. Alpha. Sorority. Incorporated. 

We. Are. (K)oming.

Signed, 

Onyx Pearl 

Fall 2003 Zeta Gamma 

Me vs Them Saturday Funny

Wear Your Masks 

Scum of the Earth

Photos courtesy of CNN

It’s the silence from those on my social media timelines that had SO much to post back in the summer months for me. Where is the people that attempted to attack my blog posts! We need to hear all of your ideas and condemnation for crime and punishment now against “protesters” 

Where are you?

What do you have to say today?

Wow. Just wow. 

If those were peaceful Black Americans they would have been shot in the back like rabid dogs. You don’t have to tell me I’m wrong LIVE video footage and the blood stained streets across this nation agrees with me! 

This is a disgraceful representation on our democracy and our Amendments. This is what Terroristic speaking Trump America looks like! He told those proud boys to stand down and stand by and here.they.are! Standing up! Such despicable thugs! We’re finally, after all this time, seeing the sons of bitches Trump tried to liken Kapernick to. In fact, use any word to describe them that was blazingly tossed around this past summer and throughout Trump’s entire administration! Please do.

Nothing. Not. One. Thing about the way these morons are acting is in the name of patriotism or peace! They are in fact, the scum of the earth! Yes, I said it. Stand by it. 

Courtesy of Getty images

I-40 Challenge

Interstate 40...it’s truly a play on words and themes. I started the “journey” to 40 likening it to travel back when I wrote 40 days to 40. I am 40. I dash 40. I-40. It is an interstate but literally it’s an In. Her. State. In her state of 40. 

With that break down I decided to also offer up a ‘In her state’ to 40 challenge. Of course (eye roll here) you don’t have to be 39 or 40 to participate. It’s simply another play on words and theme. It’s not solely for women either. Remember, although my book, based off this blog was titled, “Single Girl Gems” that title was just a perspective. The book, much like this blog is a conversation piece based off of a woman’s perspective on life and the way she lives it. 

So!

It’s actually only a 20 day challenge, but you repeat it, or start from the top on the 21st day until you complete 40 full days of the challenge. That is, of course, unless I decide to switch it up and add 40 different things to our challenge. I’m up to it (today) but I don’t want to be overzealous. So. We’ll see. My Christian faith alludes to 40 (days and nights) as a great and significant number. 40 signifies a long period of time...not to get too deep, because consequently that Word just came to me as I wrote the blog, so it wasn’t premeditated. But clearly it is by God’s grand design (smile) 

I digress...

Each day for twenty days I will introduce a self love challenge. Something you do independently and free of distraction, if possible. For some of us (and by some of us, I mean, myself) we will be completing parts if not all of the challenges late at night or early morning as we can fit it in to the schedule of our busy children. 

No! 

There is no prize other than sanity and self reflection for yourself. Feel free to take pics and post with the hashtag #I40challenge #SoKhrystian #AccessGranted if you are so moved. Other than that enjoy and take some time to acknowledge yourself in a significant way!

Day 1 

Write 10 things you love about yourself. If you’re more of a visual person you could write the items in different colors, various fonts or styles, OR include pictures as examples of what you love about yourself! Be creative. Make it about YOU! This is your self reflection. I’m presenting the blueprint and you make it unique to who you are!