Ham, no burger

I LOVE massages! I would get them every day, at every hour if I could.
I got bamboozled, er; I mean, talked into getting an introductory 6 month membership at Massage Envy. Granted I do have a regular masseuse that I go to and she's Ah-mazing! One FULL hour (unlike Massage Envy's 50 minute but advertised hour) Absolutely great, but because of my spur of the moment almost slight addiction to getting a massage I can't always call her an hour before and get a massage that same day. That's acceptable. That's realistic! I get it.
Massage Envy can usually always get me in same day and because there are about three locations in my area; usually within the hour. Perfect...so I thought!
Enough background info; I'll get to the point:
I went in yesterday to "work out" the stiffness and soreness in my lower back and neck. Suffice to say, my massage was ham but no burger! My request was deep tissue. It ALWAYS is! I have a small frame, so this has confused most whom have worked on me...I can take pressure. In fact, I LIKE, no...make that, LOVE IT! "Get in there. You won't hurt me, I promise and if I get uncomfortable, trust me; I know how to say, 'Uncle'!" I always give the "pep" talk to the masseuse.
Yesterday, it felt like I was getting lotion simply rubbed onto my back!
It started to get annoying. Imagine having an itch that you just can't scratch! That's what this annoyance was like!
The cd started to scratch too! o_O
The experience is supposed to be relaxing, and as you know nothing is more abrupt or unnerving than a scratched, skipping cd.
Why do masseuse (well...the ones I've gotten at the Envy) ask how does it feel? Is this pressure okay? Do you feel better? If they don't really want to know the answer! Don't ask me if you're just going to make an excuse!
"Is this pressure okay?"
"No. I can't feel it. You could go deeper?"
"Oh yea. I'm about to. I'm just loosening..."

-Listen! Just do what I said, you've been loosening my....for 30 minutes, it's loose! The point of the question was pressure being okay. My answer is NO, so change it!

After the massage:
"How do you feel now?"
"The same as when I got here."
"Yea. I got in there and worked it. Drink this bottle of water and you'll feel better."

-Yea! That's it water was my answer! If that's all it took why did I come to you again?! I mean really! Who says that?!

When I go to my regular masseuse I go in for a problem and I'm relieved right after. The water just continues to flush out my ailments!
Bottom line- Ham, no burger!!

**Disclaimer* No masseuse was hurt or injured before, during or after the writing of this blog.**