After-thought

"I've been meaning to send you a thank you message since the book club meeting. You really had me reflecting about pursuing my husband. I don't regret it all, but it made me think differently about some things. Thanks for asking me that and thanks for writing that book! (Blowing kisses)"

I LOVE that my first ever published book, Single Girl Gems, causes debate, dialogue, and divergent thinking! I'm ecstatic that someone thinks enough of me to share their critique, thoughts, and feedback! Thank you friend!! Hugs and kisses to you!

She's speaking of the question I asked about pursuing "your man" during a discussion the book club was having concerning one of my gems of dating. This particular gem is to allow a man to "court" or come after you. She and I disagreed and she felt that because of her bold and go-get-it to win personality she absolutely should not only go after her goals professionally, but also, go after the man she's interested in! I went after my husband. He didn't call right away, so I called him. I got his number from a mutual friend and called. I asked him out. No argument from me here. My thoughts, my opinions, her thoughts, her opinions. The only difference is...I published a book displaying mine and she read my thoughts and assessed her opinion. I understood her point and we can always agree to disagree. I asked, after hearing a bit more about their relationship and some of their early-bird stages, if she felt; had she not initiated the relationship and took on that "role" (for a lack of better words) of asking him out after not hearing from him does she think her relationship would have went another way. Here you go in a nut shell.

We went through a time. He still wanted to be out, party, hang, you know; stuff young men do. It got to a point that I was like, look now. I'm here but I'm not waiting much longer for you to get it out of your system and want to settle down with me. He realized over time what was important and that he wanted to be with me. So he knew to let it go and make it happen for us. It was rough and it took a few years but he said he knew he loved me.

After hearing that (paraphrased, of course) I asked her did she feel had she not initiated the relationship and followed my gem of allowing the man to assume the pursuant role, would she have saved herself the "headache" or "rough" time, because had he actually pursued HER he would have possibly theoretically surpassed all that shucking and jiving of the partying-young man phase and already been ready to settle down. It could've been a smoother ride. Perhaps! One never knows but that's what I said.

Listen I don't doubt the fact that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Sometimes you gots to go through a storm to appreciate the rainbow, but at the same time...there's ALWAYS room for a what if, ya know?

I appreciate her story and guess what? She's married, so go figure! She did what worked for her. But the conversation was still there, which led to more thoughts from both parties, which led to another blog for me! Life's all good there lol!

My "Cult Classics"

There are some movies that I watched growing up and no matter what age I become; I'm going to watch them gleefully and with a sense of nostalgia! Here they are in no particular order:

Howard the Duck

Troop Beverly Hills

Teen Witch 

Crybaby

Just One of the Guys

The Sandlot

The 'Burbs

License to Drive

Skool Daze

Adventures in Babysitting

Loverboy

Madhouse

National Lapoon's Vacation 

National Lapoon's European Vacation 

Clueless 

Private Benjamin 

Summer School

How I Got Into College

Can't Buy Me Love 

Blame It On Rio

Woman in Red

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!!

In honor of Dr. Seuss's birthday, here are some quotes I just love from him:

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” 

"Be who you are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!" 

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!” 

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you."

“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!” 

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

“A person's a person, no matter how small.” 

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 

"I meant what I said, and I said what I meant."

"The writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads."

...now go read my book! Lol

New Relationship Rule 31

You either meet them where they are and bring them where you both want to go or let them go. 

It's a simple rule. Stop feeling the need to "change" someone or some "thing" about them. How you met them, is who they are. If you desire a "change" in them you don't express that by demeaning what you fell for...you begin EXPOSURE. 

What does that mean? 

It means: you meet someone dressed a particular way. Let's say; suits and ties. So now that you've initially met them and you're dating; you "decide" they should stop wearing suit and ties all the time and loosen up there look. Perhaps, you decide, that they should wear more casual clothes, especially to a barbeque. Well, instead of rudely insisting that they change and stop wearing suits and ties all the time; how about you BUY them what you desire them to wear? Offer a gift or two. 

You met someone that wears their hair curly, curly, curly and you'd like to see them try a "new" style. Perhaps, you think, they should change it up and go straight. Book them an appointment to a local salon and encourage them to try the new style you'd like to see them in. 

You met someone a coffee shop yet you like an occasional cocktail. Instead of complaining to them how "bored" you are with going to "quiet" places; plan an exciting day or evening out. 

The point is: how you meet a person is how you met them. I'm not saying you can't desire change, but instead of being annoyed with the person you fell for not changing...try some EXPOSURE before you say regrettable things to them that critiques the person they are. In the long run it'll save on hurt feelings, annoyed stares, and uncomfortable debates. 

Random Rant 26

I LOATHE traffic! Where does it originate? Why is it on the road? Why are we in a complete STOP when the speed limit it over sixty-five? Why do we go full speed and THEN stop, really?!  <-- (insert a spiritual, economical, educational, or motivationally empowering phrase here)

Life Gem #223

You have to pay for what you want when you're incapable of producing #LifeGem

Don't get so bent out of shape or uneasy about that statement either. Everyone has talents and things that they're better at than others. Maybe it's because that's not your interest, or maybe it's because you don't have the time to practice the skill. Perhaps you don't have the specific training required for producing and there's a deficit in your capability for the time or to pay for the training. Either way, that's why there are specific groups of individuals that make a living and support themselves profiting from your deficits. Pay them! Get the job done and get it done well! 

Tales of a 5th grade teacher

Teacher: Class, what do omnivores eat?

5th grader: Pregnant ladies

Teacher: blank stare