Don't allow being in a rut define or dictate your lifestyle! Terri McMillian tweeted something very similar to this and I totally agree! Sometimes when we lose a job, a family member, status in life, etc. it can and will cause you to get into a rut. I like to call it a funk! Sometimes your mindset can cause this funk. It doesn't always have to be a loss, sometimes we have our own private battles within our minds, bodies and spirits! I'm here today to say, MOVE!
Motivate yourself out of your funk. Concentrate on the GOOD and POSITIVE in your life!
Organize your thoughts. Contain them. When you feel negativity creeping in; dismiss those thoughts, feelings or desires! Think happy thoughts. Read a scripture or say a prayer. Make it your business to focus or the "happy" of life regardless the circumstances surrounding you, or that you're standing in the center of!
Value yourself! YOU matter to someone, somewhere! No matter how point-less, worth-less, or inefficient you feel; understand that your purpose is far greater than anything you could or will imagine! Know there is MORE to life than what we are seeing!
Emerge yourself in positive change! Hustle-up onto good fortune. Create opportunities of happiness! Then, and only then, will you begin to see the rainbow at the end of your storms!
No one is beyond cloudy days, thunderstorms, and natural disasters, however; it's all about your recovery!
XOXO,
Khrystian Nichole
Monday, August 8, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
In the Words of Boris...
Boris Kodjoe, whom most of us remember from the cable series, Soul Food, began a twitter topic titled; How to be a Man. If you at all follow my blog, you undersatnd that my position has and will always be that; only a man can teach a man how to be a man and vice versa for women. Not only is Boris Kodjoe a gorgeous man, he seems to have a genuine heart and a kind spirit. He has a lovely marriage to Nicole Ari Parker, and together they have a beautiful family. (side-note) Boris and Nicole Ari met on the set of Soulfood, and their parents actually initiated, or I should say, encouraged their union!
After his twitter rant on the topic, he made certain to clarify that he is, "...no expert but, it's how I do it." I wanted to share these with you. His ideas were definitely on point, and conveyed precisely what my definition of a great man would be. Here's his take on, How to be a Man:*In bed, take care of your woman first. When she's satisfied you are DA MAN!!!
*Communicate without cursing. You don't need to curse to make a point. Cursing shows lack of substance.
*Get your passport and travel. A man needs to see the world.
* Know how to cook and clean. It'll show her that you don't need her but that you WANT her.
*Fix or build something with your hands. It'll show her that you are capable of taking care of a home.
*Laugh at yourself. A woman likes a man who doesn't take himself too serious.
*Embrace your imperfections.
*Stay in shape. It'll show her that you care about yourself and therefore are able to care about her.
*Take care of your responsibilities. Anything less is unacceptable. A boy is irresponsible, not a man.
*Open her door and pull out her chair. It shows her that you honor traditional values. Trust me, she will do the same.
*Be present! Take her in with your eyes and ears. Your attention will make her feel loved and she won't ever nag you.
*Read a fucking book! (Sorry, violation of 'no cursing' rule) But seriously, ignorance is a major turn-off. Book on tape will do.
*Have an ambition. You don't need to be rich but you need to show direction and motivation. Keep a job!
*Last one for today: Treat a woman the way you would want your daughter to be treated. Anything less is unacceptable.
There you have it...in the words of Boris! I admire men AND women whom value their relationships and motivate others to do the same. It's refreshing and enlightening... Thoughts?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
...in the Air, up there
Love is in the air somewhere....just take a deep breath! I'm getting several invitations in the mail, RSVP'ing weekly to some type of shower, bridal party, or event, celebrity weddings are being broadcast for us all to witness...so L.O.V.E is particularly in the air. No one is beyond craving it. Not just the love, real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love, but also the love that sets you on a pedestal from everyone else.
Love makes you act, think, say things differently! It gives you a specific glow that EVERYONE around you notices. Love causes people around you to see a change...a positive change. A renewed spirit. A unique characteristic that is infinite in power.
Love is most certainly in the air somewhere. A smile widens onto your face and your eyes sparkle with anticipation. Everything you see and everything you've ever known is now seen through rose colored glasses. Love happens when you least expect it...just take a deep breath!
~Khrystian Nichole
Love makes you act, think, say things differently! It gives you a specific glow that EVERYONE around you notices. Love causes people around you to see a change...a positive change. A renewed spirit. A unique characteristic that is infinite in power.
Love is most certainly in the air somewhere. A smile widens onto your face and your eyes sparkle with anticipation. Everything you see and everything you've ever known is now seen through rose colored glasses. Love happens when you least expect it...just take a deep breath!
~Khrystian Nichole
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Faux Pas
There are many times where you SEE someone and you automatically may think they look good; physically and are attracted to them! But...
Here are some of my particular personal turn-off moments when I see someone and THEN:
1. They open their mouth!
-Whether their voice doesn't match what they look like cuz it's too high or too low. That's ackward, to say the least. The thing that is truly a turn-off is when they don't speak intelligible! Having an accent is one thing. A thing, that I must say, will turn me OFF if its too heavy. I don't care if it's southern, northern, eastern or western...too much of anything can never be good. However, the worst is speaking English, that is so incomprehensible you do think it's another language. Can you say, "Yuck Mouth." which goes into the next tier of disgust: you see the nice looking person and then they open their mouths and it's yuck mouth literally!!!
- You can tell a ton of information about a person based on their hygiene! If you're over the age of ten; you know that! Bad breath, food smeared onto teeth, yellow teeth...it ALL and then some says plenty about your character. Please for the love of all things Gucci, visit a dentist, brush your teeth and floss regularly. There's just something about fresh breath and pearly whites that can get you far. Ever heard of, "Have a coke and a smile."?
-They are vulgar, obsence and just too much for anyone on Earth. It's a MAJOR turn-off! You're embarrassed to speak to them in private, let alone bring them around people you know! You NEVER know what will fly out of their mouth. Enough said!
-They have NO conversation. The conversation always stops at, "Hi." with them. You're constantly in a tug-o-war of, "what you doing?" That's very intense. Okay, they're nice to look at, but you sit in a room only watching television, or watching other people talk, or the best dates you've ever had are at the movies, a play, church, or anywhere else you don't have to talk.
2. Their attitude precedes their overall nice physique.
- There are some people that either don't realize they are nice-looking and therefore, their confidence is less than zero then you’re constantly building them up. Which is exhausting, by the way. Then, there are those that have confidence from Earth to Pluto, when frankly; they just look good, they have absolutely NOTHING else going for themselves! At all. We can’t forget to mention the one with that overbearing confidence and they actually DO have something going for themselves, however; their nasty or toxic attitude overshadows how nice they look therefore, you could care less to be in their presence. Again, the problem isn’t the way they look, it’s with the way they behave either alone or in a social setting with you.
Here are some of my particular personal turn-off moments when I see someone and THEN:
1. They open their mouth!
-Whether their voice doesn't match what they look like cuz it's too high or too low. That's ackward, to say the least. The thing that is truly a turn-off is when they don't speak intelligible! Having an accent is one thing. A thing, that I must say, will turn me OFF if its too heavy. I don't care if it's southern, northern, eastern or western...too much of anything can never be good. However, the worst is speaking English, that is so incomprehensible you do think it's another language. Can you say, "Yuck Mouth." which goes into the next tier of disgust: you see the nice looking person and then they open their mouths and it's yuck mouth literally!!!
- You can tell a ton of information about a person based on their hygiene! If you're over the age of ten; you know that! Bad breath, food smeared onto teeth, yellow teeth...it ALL and then some says plenty about your character. Please for the love of all things Gucci, visit a dentist, brush your teeth and floss regularly. There's just something about fresh breath and pearly whites that can get you far. Ever heard of, "Have a coke and a smile."?
-They are vulgar, obsence and just too much for anyone on Earth. It's a MAJOR turn-off! You're embarrassed to speak to them in private, let alone bring them around people you know! You NEVER know what will fly out of their mouth. Enough said!
-They have NO conversation. The conversation always stops at, "Hi." with them. You're constantly in a tug-o-war of, "what you doing?" That's very intense. Okay, they're nice to look at, but you sit in a room only watching television, or watching other people talk, or the best dates you've ever had are at the movies, a play, church, or anywhere else you don't have to talk.
2. Their attitude precedes their overall nice physique.
- There are some people that either don't realize they are nice-looking and therefore, their confidence is less than zero then you’re constantly building them up. Which is exhausting, by the way. Then, there are those that have confidence from Earth to Pluto, when frankly; they just look good, they have absolutely NOTHING else going for themselves! At all. We can’t forget to mention the one with that overbearing confidence and they actually DO have something going for themselves, however; their nasty or toxic attitude overshadows how nice they look therefore, you could care less to be in their presence. Again, the problem isn’t the way they look, it’s with the way they behave either alone or in a social setting with you.
How about you?
Entering into any relationship I’m quite certain there are specific social behaviors you either are attracted to or turn off by. Have you thought about your own faux pas’ that you try and avoid while getting to know someone?
Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...
As I pay homage to Arsenio Hall and C+C Music Factory...I believe it to be fitting, almost laughable! Those of you babies born in the 90's and thereafter...sucks to be you right now, because you have no idea what or where that phrase comes from....
Men that aren't catty STAND UP!
We need you!
We want you!!
I know I'm about to get some major flack for this here post, but in the words of Tamar Braxton...
IDontGiveADamn.com
I also want to preface this post by stressing that I am in NO WAY, NO HOW attempting to teach, tell, or train a man how to be a man. I don't have the qualifications or equipment; just as a man has no place, right, justification or qualifications to teach a woman how to be a woman. However, this is America and we certainly have room for opinions. I read somewhere that opinions are like (sorry to be crass) assholes, and EVERYONE has one! It's true! Here, my opinion is more of a series of general observations that I've been witnessing and privy to lately; I suppose it would have to be since I became old enough to care. Since men have been placed into numerous categories other than: father-figure, friend, or mate. Here it goes:
Is it just me or is there a massive influx of catty men?! Bitchassness (as Diddy said) and such and such!? I've been working on this blog for sometime now. Gathering research. Collecting research. Examining evidence.
In my observations and experiences it's not discriminant of age, ethnicity, sexual preference or culture either because I'm seeing it EVERYWHERE and with ALL types of men in the workplace, social networks, politically, religiously, leisurely...EVERYWHERE! From all ages, from all backgrounds and from BOTH heterosexual and homosexual men!
At least you know what you're getting with the homosexual male, they're (typically) supposed to feel like your "sister-girl"! I have these type of friends, so I'm well aware of their behavior. I do have some homosexual male friends, that aren't catty, but generally speaking; I'm talking about the many years over...stereotypical homosexual. Just in case you aren't privy to these individuals you can research by watching them on television, their portrayal on screen. Call it what you want, but it's reality somewhere. If you take offense, then you just don't know, but; you better ask somebody.
Enough! I'm talking about HETEROsexuals?!?!!! I just can't!! Gossipy! Loving to tell what they done seen or heard! Starting conversations with, "she said, he said, he did, she did"! Coming into your office or work-space to find out what the next person said or thinks of them!! Holding the phone for hours discussing and "getting down to the facts". At first I was thinking; maybe it's due to the rise of the single mother homes, or possibly the lack of positive affluent male figures. All of this is or could be up for debate, but now, as I actually write this blog; I've answered my own earlier question...I think it's just me! My misconception of what a man is and/or does!
Don't get me wrong, as I said earlier; I have never or will I ever think it's the place of a woman, let alone lil' old me, to train a man how to be a man and vice versa! Do I agree that a child, boy or girl; that a human-being, male or female needs BOTH positive genders-roles in their life in order to be a well-rounded individual?! ABSOLUTELY!! It doesn't matter if it's the mail man or grocery store clerk...We ALL need positive influences in our lives. Agree or disagree, but that's my stand and I'm sticking to it! So, I just think I've been mislead by the men whom were in my life! I always thought of the male species as...just something else. I suppose everyone has a time when they must vent, or express a certain type of feeling. However, I think in general, and for BOTH genders cattiness is gross and uncomfortable, especially to the person that is exposed to it.
Contrary to popular belief a man can be just as catty, gossipy, or talkative as any (supposed) woman!!!! They (men) LOVE to talk about something they've seen or something they've heard!! Tell them that they're this way and they'll swear up and down that they aren't, but WE know that they in fact: ARE! It's annoying, and it's surrounding me! I do have some male friends and my closest female friends (whom I love)to rid myself of all of that!! We (thankfully) prefer to speak of more productive things! Anyone can get sucked into a he say, she say conversation at some point in their life. No one is inaccessible...but what do we do when it approaches us? Do we soak it up like a sponge, inject our self into the conversation to, "add our two-cent," or try and remove ourselves from the situation? That's where REAL and TRUE character comes into play...
...I'll just keep on living....but, it does make me go hmmmmm...
Men that aren't catty STAND UP!
We need you!
We want you!!
I know I'm about to get some major flack for this here post, but in the words of Tamar Braxton...
IDontGiveADamn.com
I also want to preface this post by stressing that I am in NO WAY, NO HOW attempting to teach, tell, or train a man how to be a man. I don't have the qualifications or equipment; just as a man has no place, right, justification or qualifications to teach a woman how to be a woman. However, this is America and we certainly have room for opinions. I read somewhere that opinions are like (sorry to be crass) assholes, and EVERYONE has one! It's true! Here, my opinion is more of a series of general observations that I've been witnessing and privy to lately; I suppose it would have to be since I became old enough to care. Since men have been placed into numerous categories other than: father-figure, friend, or mate. Here it goes:
Is it just me or is there a massive influx of catty men?! Bitchassness (as Diddy said) and such and such!? I've been working on this blog for sometime now. Gathering research. Collecting research. Examining evidence.
In my observations and experiences it's not discriminant of age, ethnicity, sexual preference or culture either because I'm seeing it EVERYWHERE and with ALL types of men in the workplace, social networks, politically, religiously, leisurely...EVERYWHERE! From all ages, from all backgrounds and from BOTH heterosexual and homosexual men!
At least you know what you're getting with the homosexual male, they're (typically) supposed to feel like your "sister-girl"! I have these type of friends, so I'm well aware of their behavior. I do have some homosexual male friends, that aren't catty, but generally speaking; I'm talking about the many years over...stereotypical homosexual. Just in case you aren't privy to these individuals you can research by watching them on television, their portrayal on screen. Call it what you want, but it's reality somewhere. If you take offense, then you just don't know, but; you better ask somebody.
Enough! I'm talking about HETEROsexuals?!?!!! I just can't!! Gossipy! Loving to tell what they done seen or heard! Starting conversations with, "she said, he said, he did, she did"! Coming into your office or work-space to find out what the next person said or thinks of them!! Holding the phone for hours discussing and "getting down to the facts". At first I was thinking; maybe it's due to the rise of the single mother homes, or possibly the lack of positive affluent male figures. All of this is or could be up for debate, but now, as I actually write this blog; I've answered my own earlier question...I think it's just me! My misconception of what a man is and/or does!
Don't get me wrong, as I said earlier; I have never or will I ever think it's the place of a woman, let alone lil' old me, to train a man how to be a man and vice versa! Do I agree that a child, boy or girl; that a human-being, male or female needs BOTH positive genders-roles in their life in order to be a well-rounded individual?! ABSOLUTELY!! It doesn't matter if it's the mail man or grocery store clerk...We ALL need positive influences in our lives. Agree or disagree, but that's my stand and I'm sticking to it! So, I just think I've been mislead by the men whom were in my life! I always thought of the male species as...just something else. I suppose everyone has a time when they must vent, or express a certain type of feeling. However, I think in general, and for BOTH genders cattiness is gross and uncomfortable, especially to the person that is exposed to it.
Contrary to popular belief a man can be just as catty, gossipy, or talkative as any (supposed) woman!!!! They (men) LOVE to talk about something they've seen or something they've heard!! Tell them that they're this way and they'll swear up and down that they aren't, but WE know that they in fact: ARE! It's annoying, and it's surrounding me! I do have some male friends and my closest female friends (whom I love)to rid myself of all of that!! We (thankfully) prefer to speak of more productive things! Anyone can get sucked into a he say, she say conversation at some point in their life. No one is inaccessible...but what do we do when it approaches us? Do we soak it up like a sponge, inject our self into the conversation to, "add our two-cent," or try and remove ourselves from the situation? That's where REAL and TRUE character comes into play...
...I'll just keep on living....but, it does make me go hmmmmm...
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Live Life: A Khrystian Tidbit!
I'm almost positive I've had this conversation before via blog, however; it is a constant premise or, I should say theme, that people whom surround me practice.
No good can come from placing stipulations and harsh rules or regulations on your life. From the foods you eat, the company you keep, the places you travel or visit, to the career you have or even your every day health! Let me be absolutely crystal clear with this next statement: "SET REACHABLE GOALS AND ENJOY LIFE!" This is a Khrystian tidbit, at best!
Now, I'll break it down even more...some of us go to the extreme and cut off things that we enjoy cold turkey. Unless your very God-given life depends on it; why do that?! Here's where "reachable" comes into effect. If you want to stop eating a particular food, knowing that you enjoy it and in the past have eaten it every day; start off small. Cut back. Don't remove it totally. If you know your weight (over or under) is out of control; begin a slow to moderate work-out plan to alleviate and reduce the risk of shock or immediate pain!
Point blank period. Without going through a minial list of examples, I think the key is not being so rigid with the goals you set. It will cause you to lose control or site of what you're truly trying to accomplish. It also could cause you to fall off the mark, and most often FAIL! And who really wants to fail?!
NO ONE!!
So, I urge you to set reachable goals that are realistic, doable and that in the long run will make you HAPPY with your outcome.
~Happy Living
No good can come from placing stipulations and harsh rules or regulations on your life. From the foods you eat, the company you keep, the places you travel or visit, to the career you have or even your every day health! Let me be absolutely crystal clear with this next statement: "SET REACHABLE GOALS AND ENJOY LIFE!" This is a Khrystian tidbit, at best!
Now, I'll break it down even more...some of us go to the extreme and cut off things that we enjoy cold turkey. Unless your very God-given life depends on it; why do that?! Here's where "reachable" comes into effect. If you want to stop eating a particular food, knowing that you enjoy it and in the past have eaten it every day; start off small. Cut back. Don't remove it totally. If you know your weight (over or under) is out of control; begin a slow to moderate work-out plan to alleviate and reduce the risk of shock or immediate pain!
Point blank period. Without going through a minial list of examples, I think the key is not being so rigid with the goals you set. It will cause you to lose control or site of what you're truly trying to accomplish. It also could cause you to fall off the mark, and most often FAIL! And who really wants to fail?!
NO ONE!!
So, I urge you to set reachable goals that are realistic, doable and that in the long run will make you HAPPY with your outcome.
~Happy Living
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