My Love Affair

Okay, as you know I divorced my beloved Celtics when they picked up Shaq's whack a--...okay, sorry; this a family blog! (insert wink here) I skirted my way on over to Miami with Wade, Bosh and James.  For the record, I'm only truly a fan of Wade, but whatever I had to pick my poison...so I went with Miami! 

I was okay all season!  I could wink my team to a victories because Shaq's big goofy a--- oops (smile) sorry I forgot again, but Him...he was out hurt or something!  But NOW that the playoffs have begun, go-figure, of course both of the teams are playing against each other.  I'm constantly in that awkward moment when you introduce the ex, you're still in love with, to the new booski you're trying madly to like so that the feeling you have for your ex NEVER surfaces!  

HELP!!!! Man Down!!

Oh and I didn't forget that the LAKERS got that a---I really got to do better...but they DID get swept under the rug! (blows kiss here)

 

Mer’chere…NOT for me!

Upon many attempts (in my mind) to go to this visually impressive (on the website) fairly new spot in the Pearland Town Center; I informed my mom I wanted to take her to brunch for Mother’s Day to a spot of her choice. She decided upon, Mer’Cheri. I was pleased and excited to go to this martini bar and ecstatic that she’d invited my Ganny to join us! Onward bound as we drive the 23 minutes (according to my GPS) to get there in excitement!

 As we get there, it’s PERFECT…perfect location, perfect parking spot, perfect attitudes!!! We walk in, and I’m surprised to find it’s a black establishment. Not that it matters, but it always make me smile on the inside to be able to support black establishments! I encourage it! Any who; the ambiance was okay, aside from the lights out above the bar, it looked indeed just like the barren photo advertisement.  I do think they should decide what crowd they'd like to market to.  I thought, based on the ads that it was a jazzy, sexy, martini bar and grill.  However the volume of the televisions tuned into the absurd (only because they were swept) Laker game, left me feeling as if they may have wanted to be a sports bar serving buckets of beer and peanuts. 

Service was mediocre. Nothing overwhelmingly profound or fun or even attractive.  I found that when we informed the waitress it was our first visit, that sentiment didn’t resonate with her too well! Ordinarily when you go to a restaurant and you’re a first-timer, they will usually give you time to mull over the menu, even offering helpful suggestions and in some instances, they’re personal favorites. At least, that’s what I’m used to!


Not so here, she simply replied by saying, “Oh really. Do you know what you want to drink?” Umm, seriously, I don’t even know what you have to offer, you haven’t shown us a “drink menu” at a martini bar, mind you; and…how about you get us some water for starters (even if we NEVER drink it) so that we have time to peruse the menu and scan our surroundings?  Suffice to say; the water NEVER came or was offered.

 We say no and she’s off! After asking for the drink menu, we take a look at the many, many, many…did I say many different flavored martinis we have to choose from?  I like that!  We're at a martini bar...we should have a plethora to choose from, and we DID!  Everything you could imagine, including a snicker-tini!  LOL!  I Loved that!  I've been to so-called martini bars that only offer 5 choices, and out of the five...you'll order three, and out of the three you order, you'll like one!  Not even LOVE!  Just put up with...like a mother-in-law you can't stand to come and visit.  You feel me?  We pick: Chocolate, Lemon and Tropi-tini’s!


After about 20 minutes the drinks arrive. No napkin underneath for me just a red drizzle all over the table, my menu and me! Did I mention the crowd? The crowd (on Mother’s Day, lest we forget) included myself, ganny, and my mommy, a couple at the bar, two additional men at the bar and then later another pair of girlfriends came in. (More on them later!)


The Drinks! (They need their own paragraph, cause let’s face it; it’s a martini bar!)


…let’s just say, my tropi-tini tasted like chilled Hawaiian punch garnished with an orange. The lemon drop, my mom’s absolute favorite…lemon kool-aide that has about a cup of sugar sitting at the bottom even after you’re drinking the too-sweet nectar. Can someone say liquid diabetes? My ganny said she liked her drink…buuuuuuut, umm; she ALWAYS compliments something…well most times! LOL!  I did love the added chocolate shavings on top of the drink...I thought that was an awesome added effect.  Took my mind away from the lack of alcohol presence for about zero point two seconds!


Next we begin to order the food. We wanted to try stuff, you know; since it’s our first time so we got a plethora of not-so-good food. The crab-cake was as small as a 3 year olds entire fist and just as flat. It tasted frozen, like some concoction you’d buy from Sam’s Warehouse in bulk! The gumbo reeked of butter-based rue and the etouffee…well, and believe me when I say I’m not exaggerating but; it tasted like spaghetti-oh’s…SERIOUSLY!


I became vastly disappointed at this point. A few people I know, namely my daddy probably would’ve been looking for the door or the manager (and dare I shudder to say, the owner was there) to tell them how to run their establishment and that they needed a new cook!


When we got the main dishes, I was okay with mine, however, I will say again that the cook LOVES butter. My seafood Alfredo swam in a pool of butter and every time I took a bite into my garlic bread, I drank butter! Horrid description, but it’s nothing but the truth.com! Now, as our drinks sat there (and if you know me, you ought to know that’s unimaginable) however, they did…another waitress comes over bearing a drink that she proclaims is my Tropi-tini! With a mouth full of butter I’m like, “Really?! Then what in the world have I been drinking?” She says, “You ordered the tropi-tini right.” I say, “Yes.” Albeit 45 minutes later than the previous 20 minute wait, she sits it down and takes the other drink. As she takes the other drink, I’m sitting bewildered as to the appearance of this drink looks nothing tropical. The other drink did. Before I take a sip however, I see the young lady walk over to the table perpendicular to us, and before she even gets to the table the lady offers, “I know you’re not about to give me that drink (referring to the one I had my lips all over) In the lady’s defense, it did seem as if the waitress was about to do that, by the way she quickly exchanged one drink for the other and she kept going from our table to this girlfriend pair table seemingly confused! I just sort of chuckled to myself, took a sip of the drink and realized it was mos def NOT anything tropical in that glass but the garnish of cherry. I quickly told her, got my original drink back and then heard the two women confirm to the waitress, “You know we were here when you guys first opened and the service was terrible, we’ve come back to find nothing has changed I see.” Ouch! I was shocked. Oh well. We finished what we could muster down (we hadn’t eaten anything else in anticipation) left the last of our drinks in the glasses, paid our tab and graciously left!


My ganny said, "Well at least we got to experience something New!"  She's so sweet.  Got to love her!  I really want to see Mer’chere succeed and do well! It really is a potentially great place, with a lovely atmosphere and super fun location! Hopefully, if I return it’ll be better…maybe I’ll eat before I go, take my flask and go in there on a Wednesday night for their open-mic night. It may be a better experience! I'm really rooting for the home team!


What you think?!

XOXO, Khrystian Nichole

Open Letter to the Guys!

Hello Gentlemen!  I have just a few things to say to you all; mostly addressing the way you approach, come at and respond to the opposite sex!  I don't know who's writing the "new book" but you need to take it, burn it and whoop the guys' ass that wrote it!

Using a different adjective and pronoun with every sentence you say to a female borders on gross.  Most times a simple, single "Good morning" will do!  Please lose the; "Good morning sexy lady", Good evening pretty dove, " I could go on, but it turns my stomach (Yuck!)  This especially rings true when it's not your woman!  That's different; you and her may have that type of relationship with one another.  I'm talking about random women you encounter and you have the audacity to double adjective/pronoun her!

Continue chivalry!  It ain't dead!  Yes, I realize there are these "new breed independent" women in the world that can make it difficult.  But, I must say; you will lose your "man-hood" each time...take for instance you stop doing the supposed "man-things" in the relationship and stop being a leader; you'll have a serious problem when you're "man-hood" is checked, questioned or demeaned.  Stop setting your self up for failure!  Discuss roles and the lane each of you will stay in.  It saves time, embarrassment and uncomfortable situations!

Stop handing out these business cards.  If you're about business...be about it business and stop mixing it with pleasure.  Unless the lady asks for your card; she just may NOT use it!  Again, setting yourself up for failure!  If she's like me; she'll either place the card on the table, not even looking at it, or she'll give it back to you and tell you to put it away! Just saying!

Just because someone makes eye contact with you; it does NOT automatically means she's interested in you!  Enough said!

Ummmm...some conversations are intimate, personal and are better left for when you know the lady alittle bit better!  If you didn't meet her in THAT particular type of setting...where anything goes..IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE!  Er...I'll just leave it at that!

Be Deliberate and crystal CLEAR about your intentions!  I believe it's called, "keeping it 100", per my dear friend!  Toys are for kids...so NO woman deserves to be "toyed" with!  And as I most often times tell my single eligible bachelor friends; "More often than not a woman wants the EXACT same thing you want."  Just be upfront and if she can deal with your bottom line; she ain't going no where!!  Honesty is Sexy!  And heck, if she can't handle it...you don't want her.  You need someone strong and deliberate just like you!

I'm sure I'll give more at a later date...however, I'm done now...Good day!
XOXO

The Rude of You!

Everyone handles pain, sadness, guilt; shoot, even joy and excitement differently!  On occasion, when someone is emotional or feeling hurt, they can easily become irrational and say things that shouldn't be taken personally, or; at least that's what you'd hope! Imagine anytime emotional pain is involved: take death, break-ups or any other type of ill-prepared loss. For the sake of this blog; I'll take break-ups for $500, please, Alex!
Many times it won't come as a surprise if your significant other acts like a 5th grader and says vindictive, undeniably rude, irrational or downright mean things to you. Supposedly, they don’t really mean it. They're simply hurt and desiring attention from you. I think it's what we'd all agree as a moment of desperation! I don't think it even matters to them if they get a positive, negative or indifferent reaction, so long as they can conjure up Something!
Maybe you're a "Judgmental Judy" and think what I just wrote was the MOST absurd thing you've ever heard of....you don't think it happens or "you've" (and I do mean, JUST YOU) experienced it before.  Let's then take death- one of the most difficult times for many people of the world of all races, ethnicity's and backgrounds to handle.  It's a time when old war wounds, and intense emotions can take and sometimes break down families and pull them apart.  No matter the root of resentment or contempt it can often times cause dissension, friction and skeletons to fall from places you never could've imagined! 

Still looking at "Judy" in the mirror eh?!  Then let's take the loss of a job or any major source of income!  Think of this here recession America has been going through.  Sometimes, out of sheer frustration, a person will say something irrational and plain rude to someone else in an effort to get their point across!  Even in the ding dang on starbucks line (at least I guess...hey, it could happen!)If you still can't relate, just go crawl back under the rock you came from LOL!  But seriously!

I don't know how many of you have been the observer or offender, but I do know, I was taught, or possibly learned it along the way of this thing called life- after some trial and error of course- to be careful of what I let depart from MY mouth! I learned through the Word that there's power of life and death within these tongues and whatsoever a man speaketh (?) well you know the rest! Anywho, I supremely try and think before I speak! Okay, okay, I've slipped on that more times than I'd care to bring up BUT, I will say; I DO usually mean exactly what I say, and hardly ever; if not haven't, ever went back on what I've said!  I've been both blessed and cursed with the Gift of Gab!  I'm blunt!  Unappolegetically straightforward!  I say what I mean and I mean what I say...thank you Dr. Seuss!
Yes, yes, yes I know sometimes we all have said things in the heat of an argument that you may have felt, later on, was below the belt, however; it takes practice not to renege on statements that fly from your mouth! I'm just saying; it saves you on ALL that apologizing! Which, by the way, begins to LOSE it's value if done too often! (subject of my next blog...that's 'gon be a GOOD one too! Lol!)
Okay, I've lost sight of the original intent of this blog for a moment..and it's to urge you to ignore Them! The Offender! Don't let them rile you up! Don't give 'em what they want by reacting! Let them be rude...by THEMSELVES, in the end they'll look stupid! Or at the very come back with their tales between their legs asking for forgiveness!
Just don't give too many chances to make the same mistake twice!
Smooches

*Notes from THIS Choreographer*

Over time every artist; whether you’re a dancer, writer, musician, actor, or graphic designer develops their own personal and professional style.  As a choreographer; I teach young children to adults every dance style imaginable and my methods are the same…with a few tweeks and twerks every now and again, of course.  At this present time I’m choreographing a middle school performance of, “Guys and Dolls” and it was funny to me that during a rehearsal I recorded the kids so we could critique their performance and on my ride home I had to laugh out loud at the things I say during notes!  Notes are a theatrical term used to give all of the helpful hints, critiques and evaluations of an artist and/or scene performance.  Notes happen once the scene, song or routine has taken place (usually at the end of the show or Act) and the artist is either standing or sitting and writing whatever notes the director, musical director or choreographer has to say, so that the next time they perform they are cleaned and polished!  Here are a few of my customary notes, and or, things I might possibly shout out during a rehearsal.


1. Practice should be done on your own time!!  At rehearsal, you are performance ready!!


2. Memory!  One word….wretched!  What’s up?!  You’re acting like you’ve never learned the routine!

3. You really gave it to me!  Nice work!


4. Don’t just stand there when I’m not working with you; go over eight counts, dance, stretch, kick a leg…do sumpin’!!


5. Perfecting time!!!  Personally, my favorite part!  If you don’t know the routine by now…u WILL when I get through!

6. Give me some spice please!  Make it caliente!


7. There you go!  Give it to me!


8. Attitude and hair are your BEST props! J Work it out!


9. Never get the same note twice!  


10. You’re moving like you’re scared…don’t be scared!


XOXO

Khrystian Tid-bit

A condom is cheaper than child support and ABSTINENCE is FREE!  (my friends)

~wait for it (Katt Williams voice)~

The Art of the Re-Gift

It's one of those things that everybody does, but nobody talks about!  Holidays, birthdays and special occasions usually involve gift-giving of some sort.  Most times re-gifting is planned...other times...not so much.  It begins with a gift.  One person receives a gift, has a gift, or has something in their possession that they can't or won't use and so... would serve as a greater gift to someone ELSE (at least one can only hope)!  It doesn't necessarily mean the original recipient thought the gift sucked...it just means it doesn't work for them or they can't use it.  It also doesn't mean the person receiving the gift sucks...it just means they are more suited for the unknown gift.  Heck, and to keep it really real, as I do; you may just not have it to do at  the time and the best solution for you will be to re-gift.  Whatever you're initial reasoning it's all about the effort you place into re-gifting.  Practicing the art of re-gifting...because it is a special craft!
There are specific cases when re-gifting absolutely WORKS:
1. The person you're re-gifting does not know it was a previous gift, otherwise known as hand-me-down.
2. The gift is perfect for them.  (their personality, size, or it's just plain ole' something they wanted)
3. The gift is in perfect condition! (original tags attached, fresh, preferably perfectly packaged)
4. It's useful! (it may not have worked for you...but it's PERFECT for them)
5. Accompany the gift with a thoughtful, NEW card.  (it ties it all together)
Here's when re-gifting goes WRONG!  ABORT MISSION!
1. The person receiving the gift knows it's a re-gift and they were presumed to believe it was original.
2. It was something you didn't want, and now...they don't want it! (because it's out of date or season, not their personality, size or style)
3. It's been used! (missing pieces, fragrance low, tags are worn so bad they are soft or there's stains)
4.Original names are still on the gift. (please double check the gift...common courtesy!)

All in all, there's nothing blatantly wrong with re-gifting (my opinion) however, there's a certain decorum you MUST practice when doing so:
Awareness is key-Make sure the gift will suit your receiver and you understand the gift must be in great condition, examine it, and then bag it!  Place yourself in the receivers shoes!
Now to be clear:
It's a total other story if you're giving away something...that's NOT a gift.  When you give away something; you don't have to wrap it, it's not a surprise, and the person receiving it more than likely is clearly aware that it may or may not have been used. 
Here are some lovely ideas for re-gifting:
*Electronics
*Fragrance
*Houseware
*Equipment
*Travel vouchers
*Movie Passes
*Gift cards

It may never happen, especially if you follow the art of the re-gift however, just as insurance...here's-
What to do when you've been caught re-gifting:
1. Acknowledgement-  Do not insult the person's intelligence or pretend like it never happened.  Express to them exactly why you would give them the re-gift:
2. Profess- "It's perfect for you." "When first I got this, I knew you had to have it."  Any variation to the above will do.  As long as you're honest and sincere, they should understand.  If you're gifting them...you'd think they know you. LOL!
3. Embrace-Throw a hug in for good measure, and for goodness sake make sure the card is thoughtful and the bagging or wrapping is impeccable!

XOXO