Khrystian's New Year Tid-bit

Just because it's a NEW year approaching doesn't make it "time" for changes!!  Do that ish YEAR-ROUND!

BITCHASSNESS Finale 2010

So this happens to be a petty, emotional, and disturbing twitter beef at it's finest!  Decipher through it if you must...take a side if you choose...but just know that Raz B (today...through this) got some much needed FREE publicity and Chris Brown has his publicist crying right now!! 

» chrisbrown Chris Brown
@razb2k AWWW YOUR butt hurt!!! literally.. i cant .. i gotta stop

10 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

RAZBFACT: he can braid a niggaz hair with his toes!!!!! C'mon son

14 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k you have a lower back tattoo that says "different strokes"

20 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k... you didnt get raped??? so that means you liked it.. #EPICFAIL

23 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k merry christmas.i just gave you 20 thousand more followers.. u shouldve did this first instead of telling the world you got raped.

32 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

YOUR NAME IS @RICKYROMANCE HOW GANGSTA IS THAT!!!!.... PEANUT HEAD ASS !!!!

36 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@RICKYROMANCE all that tough guy shit is for the birds!!! im good in LA homie.. remember that!!

42 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HaaYrFkKDw I CANT... JUST CANT... lmao

51 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

this is entertaining to me!!!!

55 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

http://twitpic.com/3kyixr / @razb2k
1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown
This argument lasted longer than your career @razb2k
1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k when you fart it whistle #walnutbandit

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k ur a x backup singer!!!!! What do u make? Like $1.99 an hour

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k it's funny how I'm nominated for 3 grAmmys off of a mixtape and ur scrambling for change!!

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k when I need tips on how to demolish my career I'll call ya!!!!!

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

I'm not homophobic! He's just disrespectful!!!

2 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

I'm not mad though!!! I'm just not silent nor am i one of these scary R&B cats!!

2 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

I ain't deleting my tweet either!! I was minding my damn business and Peter pan decides to pop off!!! # whatalame

2 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

Tell me this @razb2k!! Why when the money was coming in u won't complaining about getting butplugged! #homothug!!!

3 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » chrisbrown Chris Brown

@razb2k nigga you want attention! Grow up nigga!!! Dick in da booty ass lil boy

» razb2k Skype me RazB2K

@chrisbrown Dude you must really like Dudes! or you just a B2K fan! and this is how u spend 3hrs to show your true support!

8 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

My step-dad is doin 25 2 life 4 abusin my mom &; i heard U say ur mom was abused &; this is how u represent urself by disrespectin WOMEN?!

26 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

@chrisbrown u victimize victims, ur a homophobe, ur on the down low &; a woman beater. Merry Christmas &; thx 4 showin every1 ur true colors

28 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

@Chrisbrown Since you took this that far! Dude, i wasnt Raped! what a disrespect to every Kid around the world that has been Molested!!!!!

31 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

hey followers.... i want to apologize for fostering homophobia tweets.. this has nothing to do against my followers...

36 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

a friend told me to fall back.... says it would be wise @EricalanePr

40 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » MarcusPaulk Marcus Paulk by razb2k

"@chrisbrown: http://twitpic.com/3kyixr / @razb2k lol" awwwwww lmfao damn

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

@chrisbrown and his BOO.@AndreMerritt http://twitpic.com/3kz55c

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

Fall back @RickyRomance I got this #Womenbeater

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K @

@chrisbrown you steady talking about your career and homothugs but you have yet to respond about your boyfriend @Andre_Merritt

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

DON'T TRIP @ERICALANEPR this nigga disrespecting me

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

yo @chrisbrown i heard about all yo BoyFriends &; tell yo cheerleader @1omarion 2 shut the fuck up b4 i send J BOOG 2 fuck HIS MaMa again

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

Ur not homophobic, ur juz homosexual on the low! RT @chrisbrown I'm not homophobic! He's just disrespectful!!!

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

@chrisbrown I luv how u resort 2 disrespectful low brow tactics when u clearly sabotaged ur own career by beating women!

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

@Chrisbrown Do you hit your boyfriend @andre_merritt like you do your women?

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

RT @ManDown2012 Y ppl gettin mad @razb2k for the comment on @chrisbrown hey its true he diesrespected @rihanna (cont) http://tl.gd/7pu2hm

5 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K @

@uSHOUT_Breezy Actually i recorded the song before @ChrisBrown

5 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

Coffee Break....Hold on Be right back!

5 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply » razb2k Skype me RazB2K

Im just sittin here Thinking how can niggas like @ebenet & @ChrisBrown disrespect women as Intelligent as @HalleBerry11 @Rihanna

5 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

  Immature, Ridiculous and Stupid

Just to think...I was Raz B's personal assistant for about 15 minutes (real life)!!  Oh how my life would be on another track had I seriously taken that job!!
~smooches ;-)

Deal Breakers

Dating and being in a relationship, both are hard work!  It takes patience, time, effort, compassion, effort, trust, respect, effort, and a special kind of person, among many other adjectives I'm not in the mood to write.  Did I mention effort?  Oh okay...I did!!! LOL! 

In deciding that you want to be with someone and love them for who they are; you also have to decide that you will love yourself FIRST and foremost, and understand your deal breakers!

Deal breakers are the absolutes of any serious relationship you may have.  Without being on one accord with your deal breakers, your relationship is in for a world of trouble, heartache, fights, arguments, trials and tribulations, I mean utterly doomed!  Okay, I'm being dramatic but I'm serious as a heart attack!  Here they go...in my particular order:

1. Religious differences- Are you catholic and he's Jew?!  It matters come Christmas!
2. Moral differences- This could save you trips to jails, clinics, law offices...the whole shaBang! You get it!
3. extreme Social differences- You don't want to feel ostracized for who you are, do you?! 
4. Economic differences- It might not matter what they have...but it definitely matters their GOALS and life-long dreams!

Flirty Thirty!

I had a BLAST for my Flirty Thirty! Lots of dancing, lots of drinking, little drama, lots of laughing, lots of flirting, and lots of questions!!!!  I'll save the answers for those that have direct access to me ;) Because trust and believe...you have ASKED! LOL!
All in all; I was happy to see my Sorors, Frat, co-workers, family, new and old friends!!  I saw friends I hadn't seen in years...since highschool (so over 10 years), friends that don't live in the same city or state came down too!!  I was just ultimately satisfied and complete with the night!  I had a BLAST!  So much so; I didn't get to pass out the keepsake shot glasses I had for all the guest!  It was also such a great turn out...the owner of the place gave ME money and wants me to host another party...NOT!  Never again will I work with him!  He can keep his pipe dreams LMAO!!

Obsession versus Love

The dictionary defines an obsession as this...
obsession ob·ses·sion (əb-sěsh'ən, ŏb-)
n.
1. Compulsive preoccupation with an idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

I'm writing this blog today because many people, maybe even YOU, confuse "love" with obsession!  Maybe you've never been in love, or maybe you've been in past abusive relationships (family, friend, spouse) that now you don't really know what love is supposed to feel like, or maybe you think you've found your soul mate and this particular relationship is heaven-sent!  I don't know, even understand, or want to fathom the reason for said emotions and obsessions, but as always; I've googled it...done alittle research and have come up with my answer to the difference between LOVE and OBSESSION!  Follow along...

In this particular article I read it says there are four phases of an obsessive relationships progression and each one carries unique behaviors.  It's categorized on a wheel in the phases of: attraction, anxiety, destruction and obsession.  They relate these phases to a wheel, because it continually goes on and on like some sort of sick merry-go-round!

ATTRACTION PHASE:
In the article they say; this is the initial phase or beginning and can be designated by an instant and/or overwhelming attraction to another person. They say at this point the relationally dependent person becomes "hooked" on a romantic interest, usually resulting from the slightest bit of attention from the person they are attracted to.
Here are the red flags...
• An instant attraction to romantic interest, usually occurring within the first few minutes of meeting.
• An immediate urge to rush into a relationship regardless of compatibility.
• Becoming "hooked on the look" of another, focusing on the person's physical characteristics while ignoring personality differences.
• The beginnings of obsessive, controlling behaviors begin to manifest.

ANXIOUS PHASE:  also known as Phase 2
This turning point, which usually occurs after a commitment has been made between both parties.
Here are the red flags...
• Unfounded thoughts of infidelity on the part of a partner and demanding accountability for normal daily activities.
• An overwhelming fear of abandonment, including baseless thoughts of a partner walking out on the relationship in favor of another person.
• The need to constantly be in contact with a love interest via phone, email or in person.
• Strong feelings of mistrust begin to emerge, causing depression, resentment and tension.
• The continuation and escalation of obsessive, controlling behaviors.

OBSESSIVE PHASE:
Here is where it becomes unhealthy!!  It is at this point that obsessive behaviors reach a high degree and ultimately overwhelming the total relationship. At this point the person being the object of obsession begins to pull back and ultimately, severs the relationship. This phase, as said by the article, is when the obsessive begins to lose control!
Here are the red flags...
• The onset of "tunnel vision"  The obsessed can't see, think, or maintain without wanting and desiring to be with the other person.
• Neurotic, compulsive behaviors, including rapid telephone calls to love interest's place of residence or workplace.
• Unfounded accusations of "cheating" due to extreme anxiety. (especially if THEY are doing the cheating)
• "Drive-bys" around a love interest's home or place of employment, with the goal of assuring that the person is at where "he or she is supposed to be."
• Physical or electronic monitoring activities, following a love interest's whereabouts throughout the course of a day to discover daily activities.
• Extreme control tactics, including questioning a love interest's commitment to the relationship (guilt trips) with the goal of manipulating a love interest into providing more attention.

DESTRUCTIVE PHASE:
It represents the destruction of the relationship, due to obsessive behaviors, which have caused a love interest to understandably flee. For a variety of reasons they say; this is considered the most dangerous phase.
Here are the red flags...
• Overwhelming feelings of depression (feeling "empty" inside).
• A sudden loss of self-esteem, due to the collapse of the relationship.
• Extreme feelings of self-blame and at times, self-hatred.
• Anger, rage and a desire to seek revenge against a love interest for breaking off the relationship.
• Denial that the relationship has ended and attempting to "win a loved one back" by making promises to "change".
• The use of drugs, alcohol, food or sex to "medicate" the emotional pain.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself!  Just a'lil research I thought I'd share   ;) 

For more info on the subject of obsessions; do the research yourself...but if you'd like the link to the article I read...here ya go:
www.enotalone.com/article/2499.html

Single Girl Gem::

Be your OWN self-motivator!!
Stop relying on constant validation from a damn man! (it's sickening)  Plus, you really don't want to give anybody that type of control!

:-)
Happy Loving YourSELF

Khrystian Tid-bit

Everyone should want someone that's a TREASURE, not someone random that just any ol' body can have!  Wait for it...(in my Katt Williams voice)

xoxo,
Khrystian Nichole

Open Discussion

While talking with one of my friends; we had a discussion about finding "someone" you can look at and say, "He's definitely the one!"  Now, to be clear...I have had this type of blog before.  I personally don't know how some people can actually realize when they've found "the one".  That one you want to spend the rest of your life with and have four kids with.  The one you don't mind going through this thing we call life with.  Yeah, that one!

It just seems as if, you don't know me...you just met me!  You don't know if I have quirks that will bug you for all time.  You don't know my background, my beliefs, my religion, where I came from and where I'm going...and I certainly don't know anything about you!!  At least for a year! (There's some debate about my timeline, I know!)  But alas!

The conversation started alittle like this.  I asked her about the flavor of the week she was dating.  Mind you she's been dating him off-again and on-again for approximately 3 years.  However, trust me, the off-again far outweighs the on-again! Anywho!  She said it was going fine, she liked him (gotta stop right here...because THIS is major!)  She or I ever, hardly NEVER say we LIKE someone.  We may say, "he's cool,"  "he aight," "he'll do,"  he's really not my type,"  but we ever, hardly NEVER say we LIKE someone!  So believe me; when she said this.  I put down the phone...changed it to speaker...perched carefully in my seat...all attention on her...and listened...intently!
She went on to say; "He's seemingly an all-around great catch.  He's shown he likes me, I've shown I like him.  He's asked me a few underlying things in conversation about my future...and kind of where "our" future would lead based on what we've been talking about.  I like him...but....I just don't know if he's the one I'm supposed to be with and do I need to be more serious...or do I need to wait it out, because he just might not be, and I'll miss out on the one I'm really supposed to be with.  You know?"

Now, some of you may have been down this road before.  Some of you have on your sour judgemental puss right now.  Some of you are just shaking your head at me and my dear friend, and some of you may wish you could stop reading right now, get to typing a comment and then find out who this friend is so you can give her your very own advice!  Well I'm here to say- Stop it now.  Whatever it is good or bad, cause what's good for the goose is good for the gander.  Everyone has to go through their own life experiences and face their own truths! 

My thing is this.  She's MY friend...so I get to tell her! (sticks tongue out) and I did! 

No one is perfect.  The grass is never greener on the other side.  What you may dislike about one man...you will loathe with the next!  This in NO WAY means to settle!!  EVER!  It simple means, you have to be MATURE!  It's also imperative that you know you're breaking-point!  Everybody has their breaking-point and their list of do's and don'ts...no matter what you say.  The only thing for her to do, at this point, as to not waste more time (especially if she doesn't want him); is to decide straight-up if she enjoys spending her time with him.  Does his mere sight disgust you? Does he vex you?  Do the two of you have any deal-breakers (and for those that don't know what deal breakers are it's. 1. religious differences  2. moral differences  3. extreme social differences  4. economic differences (I'll blog in detail all about those later)  Is he abusive?Does his good outweigh his bad?  These are things to consider!  If you're just not that in to him...then move on, and keep it stepping, it doesn't matter these deal-breakers.  But, if by chance you do, and there's something there-  See what happens!

You can't live life with the should've, could've would've (s) and you definitely can't live life waiting on the next best thing...you may wind up coming up shawt! (short LOL)  Being by yourself and eventually watching "him" walk down the aisle with "her" and all you'll be able to do is cry.  (like my girl Etta James say)

I won't tell you the outcome...I'll keep it for later blog material (wink)!

Khrystian Tidbit

Don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit! (stuff my family says)
…and if you do start some shit. Do NOT apologize! (LOSER...that's stuff I say!)



:-)  Happy Holidays!!

A December to Remember

The countdown begins of my last few days in my twenties!!

It’s funny, when you’re twelve you don’t think; it’s my last time to say, “Twelve”…or when you’re nineteen, you could give a ding dang dong that you’ll NEVER see your teens again! But for some odd reason (devilish grin here) at 29, reality sets in!! If you don’t watch it, you could go into a major deep-down depression, too! Folks start coming out the woodworks to remind you of how old you are and how much longer, counting down even the last few hours, of the last moments of your twenties you have left! They try and remind you of how things are about to majorly change! It’s like-Ugh, Hello?! Life doesn’t stop at thirty! It only just begins! And it doesn’t stop at 39…when you’re forty another set of life issues, wonderfully good and the dreadfully bad occur! And it surely doesn’t stop at 49! 50 is the half-century mark…you BETTER do it BIG! But heck…the way people have been approaching me about turning 30…I may as well strangle myself now, or go and walk the plank…because once you’ve passed your twenties…it must all go downhill from there! LOL!

And maybe that’s been the case for some people. However, alas, life is what you make it! You can sit and wallow over loved one’s being lost, opportunities being missed, doors slamming in your face, life just not treating you right. But let’s face it- life’s a…well, you know the big b-word I’m referring to!

Well, it is! However, you can’t rely on other people to make things happen for you; you HAVE to do it yourself! You surely can’t rely on someone to make you happy, create happiness or allow vulnerability to allow you to make stupid, irrational decisions! Realize life, as we know it, is not over until that fat a$$ lady sings!

Until you take your last breathe you still got some living to do!

Don’t even get me started on the fact that I’m not married or with child (heck I mean kids) right now!! Holy molley, I must have committed some type of cardinal sin for not having one or the other. Oh. And it amazes me that people have the nerve to think something is really wrong with me for not having kids! EGAD! I mean, in their eyes, forget the husband! It’s like, who? Oh the man you’re supposed to M.A.R.R.Y before jumping in the sack with him and begin procreating!! Yeah! HIM! They could care less about asking if I’m married. The question of the hour is always- (in a matter-of-fact, you –are-some-type-of-leopard way) You ain’t (notice ain’t) got no (notice the double negative) kids?!! (Like I’ve committed blasphemy LOL)

It amazes me.

And when I reply, “No. I’m not married.” Or “My last name hasn’t changed yet.” They look puzzled, frazzled and downright confused! Loll! It’s all good though, I know society has made it that way…but I’m sticking to my guns. You can think what you want to. You can even get offended. Ask me do I care. Go on, ask me.

The answer is NO! Being 29 on my way to thirty with not a true life-altering responsibility in the world, or without baggage, or drama, or bruises and batters, war-wounds, divorces, separations, my name dragged through the mud, or any other imaginable thing you could fathom is pretty darn good to me. I do alright! And I’m feeling JUST FINE about leaving 29! TRUST ME! I’ve had enough fun and the time of my life for eight twenty-year olds! I’m looking forward to what all this hoopla about thirty is! Ready to party like its 1999!! (Clears throat) the year I graduated!

XOXO,

(see ya December 11th)